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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I kind of feel sorry for both of them and neither of them at the same time. She has no right to force him to stay it's all very 'Fatal Attraction' but at the same time I think she feels that being dumped by the man she forgave for cheating is the ultimate insult. He's in a crappy position but he's also not guiltless in this whole situation either.

    What a mess.
    I agree with this completely.

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  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonezart View Post
    Thanks, its good to see that if I'm wrong, so are all of you.

    Basically her stance is, and shes posted this all over her facebook:
    If you cheat on me and I forgive you, you are with me until I say its over! You chose to cheat, you don't get to make another choice and leave.

    I knew it was crazy but you know, sometimes you like to hear others say it. She's got friends agreeing with her - what is wrong with this world!
    'Lisa' is being utterly ridiculous. Either person has every right to end it at any time!

  3. #33
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    Default Opinions on a break up

    Wowsers. It's impossible to stop someone leaving. Maybe her brain is saying he CAN'T leave but she's not meaning literally - more like how could he when he cheated and she took him back? If not, yikes!

    If she's rational usually, I'd just play dumb and say I don't understand how she can be stopping him from leaving and could she please explain how it's possible to do that. Maybe when she hears herself say it she'll realise it's impossible? Otherwise, she sounds like she's in the depths of pain and in denial and is maybe going to need a friend that will tolerate her temporary insanity or occasionally lashing out?

  4. #34
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    If you love someone let them go and all that hooha. I do feel for her, but of course you are right. She is clutching at straws if she really thinks this is giving her the 'power' and sad as it is it is making her pathetic. (I really hate that word) plus putting it out there on social media why?!

  5. #35
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    Maybe if shes saying the unthinkable, maybe he needs to do it, and go and cheat on her again, so he has an out.........**** the poor guy.

    I am hoping that no kids are involved in his mess, because I agree, it could get very messy from here on in..

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    No, no kids luckily. Just these two and their friends. I convinced her to take the post off facebook but she feels totally justified and refuses to see that it's not really still a relationship. He's still in that house because he is worried about her. I can imagine wanting a clean break up and each party knowing where they stand. Maybe she'll come around over the weekend.


    "And I gave that guy directions. Even though I didn't know the way. Because that's just the kind of guy I am this week. "

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bonezart View Post
    No, no kids luckily. Just these two and their friends. I convinced her to take the post off facebook but she feels totally justified and refuses to see that it's not really still a relationship. He's still in that house because he is worried about her. I can imagine wanting a clean break up and each party knowing where they stand. Maybe she'll come around over the weekend.


    "And I gave that guy directions. Even though I didn't know the way. Because that's just the kind of guy I am this week. "
    I think that she is just hurting and needs a friend to be there for her ..

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  8. #38
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    I think she needs to realise she is better off without him. no spark after 10 years is not unusual. Sounds like he thinks life is like a fairy tale and she should be happy to move on and never look back at someone who clearly does not deserve her.

  9. #39
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    In all honesty, I think we can all understand how she is feeling and that it is probably a knee-jerk reaction, especially, if as you say, she was blindsided by it. I don't feel bad for him, he's an adult making the choice to stay, whether it's because he's worried about her or he feels guilty or he think their relationship does deserves more time--it's between them and they'll work out which is the best path eventually. If they are not in counseling anymore then maybe suggest making an appointment so the counselor can help him walk away and her accept it.

  10. #40
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    She's over having a wine and a chat while my kids run crazy.
    I really understand that after getting through cheating and overcoming that she can't believe that they can't overcome whatever is the problem now. Just have a chat with her I think and be there.


    "And I gave that guy directions. Even though I didn't know the way. Because that's just the kind of guy I am this week. "


 

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