+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    631
    Thanks
    39
    Thanked
    97
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default How do you get your DH to listen?

    For at least 6 months now I have been trying to tell my husband I'm not happy in our marriage.

    He works, then goes to the gym, comes home eats and sits on the lounge, using his phone to look up eBay or Facebook and then goes to bed. I have told him we need counselling and he shrugs it off, I have tried talking to him and he comes good for a couple of days then back to his usual self, I have tried the 30 days of nookie which didn't even make 5 nights due to him sitting in his phone until all hours. I don't know what else to do.

    Has anyone else been through this? I don't know what else I can do, I don't want to leave him but it's looking like that is the only option I have to get him to see that I am 100% serious about this. Does anyone else have any ideas that might make him listen? It's killing me everyday going through this.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    631
    Thanks
    39
    Thanked
    97
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    .

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    2,645
    Thanks
    1,036
    Thanked
    863
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    So sorry you're going through this. I have problems in my marriage too. Took a while for DH to agree to counselling, he was very anti the whole thing. But was ok when he was there.

    Sounds like your DH isn't communicating with you much. Is that your main frustration? A lost connection? Just trying to understand.
    Could you suggest a 'technology free night' per week to do things together as a couple? Have a nice dinner, talk, play board games, etc.

    Sounds like you really need to tell him how you feel, if he doesn't listen could you write him a letter explaining it all and make some suggestions for doing things together?

    Not sure if that's any help. But big hugs x

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Far North QLD
    Posts
    2,184
    Thanks
    1,793
    Thanked
    1,706
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Hi MarkandSandy, would it be possible to ask him to put his phone down for a bit so you can both have a conversation where he's not distracted? If you're not happy then you're doing the right thing trying to discuss it before it gets too far down the track. Is it a lack of not spending time together? You should tell him that you'll start meeting him at the gym & you can train together

    I hope he listens to you & is able to discuss with you how he is feeling. I think it's important to get your feelings across & at least that way it's not bottled up & he knows exactly how you feel.

    Good luck

  5. #5
    SuperGranny's Avatar
    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    sunshine coast qld
    Posts
    6,140
    Thanks
    4,541
    Thanked
    2,719
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    hi markandsandy. you have been trying to communicate this problem for 6 months and he still hasn't come to the table so to speak. !! I would be maybe getting some counselling on my own. There has to be some way to get though to him. Maybe I would go on strike, stop doing any thing for him, sort of pretend he doesn't exist, and when you have his attention tell him this is how you are feeling. that might not work, but after 6 months I would be pulling my hair out. good luck, marie.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    665
    Thanks
    624
    Thanked
    265
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Could you try wiring him a letter outlining your feelings?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    631
    Thanks
    39
    Thanked
    97
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I've tried writing him a letter, texting and talking to him. I think he is just turning a blind eye to everything.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    665
    Thanks
    624
    Thanked
    265
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    He sounds very disconnected. That makes it very hard to make any progress. Can you try changing your angle a bit and ask him what is making him feel disconnected/upset/unhappy? And let him talk rather than you taking (initially)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    2,645
    Thanks
    1,036
    Thanked
    863
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Redcorset View Post
    He sounds very disconnected. That makes it very hard to make any progress. Can you try changing your angle a bit and ask him what is making him feel disconnected/upset/unhappy? And let him talk rather than you taking (initially)
    I agree. Something is going on for him. He needs to be an adult and talk to you about it, not bury his head in the sand. If he continues to refuse I'd be seeking counselling alone to discuss the situation.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    1,391
    Thanks
    812
    Thanked
    688
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    You can't make him listen or talk if he doesn't want to. But you also shouldn't have to put up with being ignored either. Maybe get some counselling on your own first, see how that goes. If he won't get involved though, and he won't change, then there's not much you can do except leave.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Why can't he just listen to me!?
    By MumDadBoyandGirl in forum Feeling alone
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-06-2014, 07:09
  2. 5yo doesn't listen! At wits end
    By IndigoJ in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 09-02-2014, 20:59
  3. My friend Just doesn't seem to listen!
    By LilCritter in forum General Chat
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 15-01-2014, 08:14

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Riverton Leisureplex
An Extreme Family Pass at Riverton Leisureplex is the ultimate way to cool off during the summer school holidays. The $30 Pass allows pool and waterslide access for 2 adults and 2 children, as well as a drink, popcorn and an icy pole for each person.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
GymbaROO
GymbaROO offers activities for babies & toddlers in a fun learning centre, focussing on developmental education. Classes are available Australia-wide. Enrol today & help your child to reach their full potential. Visit the website to find out more.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!