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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    Keep an eye on your emotions, you mention how you are not normally negative. Pregnancy, especially the first trimester, turns me from an optimist into a pessimist. Two pregnancies I even developed depression in the first trimester, the hormones do crazy things! So don't feel bad about how you are feeling. The physical things going on now will be partly responsible.

    I haven't been in your position in terms of an unplanned pregnancy but I've always been an ambitious career person. So the adjustment to motherhood came with some struggles. Now I have #2 I can tell you that one child is easy to make them work into your plans a little more. We travelled on an extended around the world trip while our 1st was a baby.

    When we came back I struggled to find part time work (over qualified/too much management experience) but chance led me to a job that then guided me to further study and my new career. I now have a job that is rewarding, family friendly and part time/casual. These have been really important once #2 bub came along, especially now DH has started working FIFO.

    Like some PPs, I just can't do the full time SAHM thing. I end up in a demotivated slump feeling like a mere shell of myself. I do get so much joy from my children, but I am more than my kids. Apart from the end of pregnancy and the first year or so, I have not put my life on hold for my kids. There is no reason why you need to. New options will open up when the time is right.

    PS. Throw away any glorified ideals and visions of motherhood. It is what it is, you just get on and do it any way that works.
    Excellent, thanks!
    Yep I can feel that I'm just not myself...I know it must be the hormones. Your experience makes me feel a little better!

    That's great to hear that you took your 1st around the world with you!

    Yes I know I will chance upon something great too, re new career...I just have to be patient and accepting. I'm not sure how I will feel once the baby is born, but right now I can't see myself as a SAHM for more than the first year or so. I'll be itching to do something.

    Your reply has given me great comfort, thanks

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    Stretched  (20-09-2014)

  3. #22
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    I was a FIFO mummy. Thankfully the town we worked near had a daycare. It did however rule out living in a camp and ultimately it was too hard for my company and I was made redundant. But I did it for 2 years and it was great. Can you move into a new company or similar role or res?

  4. #23
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    I have thought about changing jobs and relocating to be residential @lilypily but been there, done that. My current role is so specialized (and never stationary), it can't be done residential. I'd have to step down to a less fulfilling job which doesn't interest me. If I get desperate I will talk to DP about it...but it would mean moving back interstate away from family and friends (just did 8 years of that and it's kind of nice to be home!). Plus I doubt DP would want to relocate.
    Thanks for your ideas though.
    That's cool that your company let you be a FIFO mum for a couple of years! And cool to meet another FIFO (ex) on the hub!

  5. #24
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    My diary is on here titled pregnant in a mining camp...

  6. #25
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    A lot of universities are doing post graduate course open days/info nights at the moment ready for next year. It might be a good opportunity to look around and see if anything tweaks your interest, speak to staff etc. Hopefully you find something amazing with supportive staff, options for part time/external units so you can enjoy the best of both worlds

    Honestly, the pregnancy hormones are a total mindmuck (for want of a better term)!

    And the freak out by baby stuff is normal. OH and I basically had panic attacks walking into the "baby superstores". It was like that until quite late in pregnancy, by which time the hormones directed me into obsessively making lists, researching baby gear, acquiring it, then organising it. I even had a spreadsheet to manage what I had/needed/best price etc. :P I realise now that my brain had been hijacked by the hormones.
    Last edited by clbj; 21-09-2014 at 00:56.

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    Explora  (28-09-2014)

  8. #26
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    Explora.....I could have written your post 3 years ago!

    I too was FIFO in a job i loved (and worked my butt off for 4 years to get) when i found out i was unexpectantly pregnant, and i had all the same fears, Working FIFO as much as it sometimes sucks its also like a little community who you become very close to very quickly, and i was sad to leave that world behind,

    I think I also struggled as bub wasnt planned and that seemed like a huge failure to me at the time (not being able to look at clothes ect) , however now i look at it as a blessing as life is what happens while your trying to reach all your goals, and I can still reach them, just a different path now

    Like you my DP was also working FIFO and we were lucky enough to be on the same site, so it was nice that when i did finish work and he would talk about work i still understood who and what he was talking about, which helped.

    Fast forward now and we have a 2 year old DS who is the best thing ever!! DP is now DF and bub # 2 is due in April, i love my life as a mum!

    Also I did OHS when FIFO and have been doing part time OHS for the last 6 months, its not FIFO and not as intersting to me as mining safety but im greatful to be in the same industry... maybe look into a city based role you could do while still having a connection to the mining industry.... then you wont feel so isolate from your previous career

    Good luck!!

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    Explora  (28-09-2014)

  10. #27
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    Hi @Explora

    My pregnancy wasn't unplanned... but I did struggle with the career and identity issues that you are struggling with.

    I worked in construction (as an engineer) and did a bit of site work and FIFO, even when I was doing DIDO or Perth based work it was definitely not a career that could be done part-time, or even M-F 9-5 for that matter! It was a 6-7 day gig for long stretches...

    I won't lie... even 2.5 years later, I MISS being on site with all the cool big toys and building things.. but I have found an alternative career path which utilises the past career as a base and allows me to work from home most of the time. I love being able to be home with DD and wouldn't change it for the world, and my new job pays well and so it's a win-win.

    You've got plenty of time to think about whether there's a market or opportunity to consult with your current skills, or to think about doing some study to get you there?

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    Explora  (28-09-2014)

  12. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    My diary is on here titled pregnant in a mining camp...
    Thanks! It's going to take me a while to get through...I'm on the 3rd page and enjoying it so far

  13. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by clbj View Post
    A lot of universities are doing post graduate course open days/info nights at the moment ready for next year. It might be a good opportunity to look around and see if anything tweaks your interest, speak to staff etc. Hopefully you find something amazing with supportive staff, options for part time/external units so you can enjoy the best of both worlds

    Honestly, the pregnancy hormones are a total mindmuck (for want of a better term)!

    And the freak out by baby stuff is normal. OH and I basically had panic attacks walking into the "baby superstores". It was like that until quite late in pregnancy, by which time the hormones directed me into obsessively making lists, researching baby gear, acquiring it, then organising it. I even had a spreadsheet to manage what I had/needed/best price etc. :P I realise now that my brain had been hijacked by the hormones.
    THANK YOU! I admit turning away from baby stuff was making me feel a bit guilty. But more and more I am realising 9 months is a long time to get used to an idea.
    Yep, the hormones have got me. I now have zero tolerance for certain things and a sudden inability to bite my tongue! :O
    I think it's my brain's way of saying "Sh*t just got real, no time for xxx, got bigger issues to focus on now!"

    I will definitely do some online study, for sure

  14. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by buboven View Post
    Explora.....I could have written your post 3 years ago!

    I too was FIFO in a job i loved (and worked my butt off for 4 years to get) when i found out i was unexpectantly pregnant, and i had all the same fears, Working FIFO as much as it sometimes sucks its also like a little community who you become very close to very quickly, and i was sad to leave that world behind,

    I think I also struggled as bub wasnt planned and that seemed like a huge failure to me at the time (not being able to look at clothes ect) , however now i look at it as a blessing as life is what happens while your trying to reach all your goals, and I can still reach them, just a different path now

    Like you my DP was also working FIFO and we were lucky enough to be on the same site, so it was nice that when i did finish work and he would talk about work i still understood who and what he was talking about, which helped.

    Fast forward now and we have a 2 year old DS who is the best thing ever!! DP is now DF and bub # 2 is due in April, i love my life as a mum!

    Also I did OHS when FIFO and have been doing part time OHS for the last 6 months, its not FIFO and not as intersting to me as mining safety but im greatful to be in the same industry... maybe look into a city based role you could do while still having a connection to the mining industry.... then you wont feel so isolate from your previous career

    Good luck!!
    Thank you buboven! Wow, it's comforting to know someone who has been in my position. Yes I have been site-based and in camps and remotely living on and off for almost 10 years now...it gets in your blood (in a good way)...you're exactly right about the community feel...perhaps it's our instincts which make us comfortable in these little communities and sad to leave. They are so much less complicated than the real world!

    The unplanned part is the hardest because it is a massive shock to the system and prematurely drags us away when we're not ready. That's what I have found so hard. But I am looking forward a bit more now and trying to anticipate this like any mother-to-be rather than resisting it.

    Thanks for sharing...it's comforting to know you have been in my shoes and it all turned out well

    I hope I'm telling your story in 3 years time!


 

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