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  1. #11
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    It may not be as simple as just moving him up- they may not have the space to move him into the next room or there may be other kids who need to move up first. Or they may believe he's not emotionally/developmentally ready to move up ahead of time.
    It actually sounds like they ARE doing what they can to keep him entertained. Honestly (not you OP) the CC worker bashing on BH drives me batty
    Oh and the dummy thing may be a policy in the next room up- in the centre my kids are at, comfort items are strongly discouraged apart from at rest time from the toddler room up. So that may be what the comment was about.
    I don't think there's much you can do at home except try not to worry- it seems like it's just a situational issue and not to do with his personality/temperament.
    My DS was one of the biggest in his room and just stomped all over the babies and as a February baby there was no way they could move him up in term 4, they just did what yours seem to be doing, which was just try to protect the babies (lol) and send him out to the big kids whenever possible.

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  3. #12
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    Hi harvs, just wanted to give you some support, I've had various phases of things like this with my kids eg: my DD has lately bitten one of the daycare carers a few times. eeek I've got a biter!! It's a tough time as a parent! But, please, don't let anyone think you have a 'bully'. it is a term that is overused and has terribly negative connotations. What you describe sounds like behaviour that is in the realms of normal childhood stuff. Could be a growth spurt with added testosterone, for example? Hang in there, I hope you can find a solution for your little guy soon.

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  5. #13
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    I wanted to add, when I worked in childcare we had many "boisterous" little people, some just weren't aware of their own strength. It definitely wasn't always an indication of them being "bullies". I worked with toddlers aged 18 months through to kindergarten aged kids and saw so many changes and developments.
    Your DS is just a BABY Not a bully.

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  7. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    It may not be as simple as just moving him up- they may not have the space to move him into the next room or there may be other kids who need to move up first. Or they may believe he's not emotionally/developmentally ready to move up ahead of time.
    It actually sounds like they ARE doing what they can to keep him entertained. Honestly (not you OP) the CC worker bashing on BH drives me batty
    Oh and the dummy thing may be a policy in the next room up- in the centre my kids are at, comfort items are strongly discouraged apart from at rest time from the toddler room up. So that may be what the comment was about.
    I don't think there's much you can do at home except try not to worry- it seems like it's just a situational issue and not to do with his personality/temperament.
    My DS was one of the biggest in his room and just stomped all over the babies and as a February baby there was no way they could move him up in term 4, they just did what yours seem to be doing, which was just try to protect the babies (lol) and send him out to the big kids whenever possible.
    I didn't set out to do any cc worker bashing, I hope it didn't come across that way. I love DS's childcare, and I can see that every worker there has worked so hard to foster a strong relationship with him. It's a small centre as we're in the country, and aside from the odd comment here and there I have the utmost respect and gratitude for what they do.

    You're absolutely right, it may not be that simple. But if they don't have room, then I don't see how he is spending so much time in there on most days. It's possible they are going out of their way to accommodate his needs and pushing their limits in the O2 room, and that's something I hadn't thought of. But in that case, and with the dummy too (which I also hadn't thought of), then I think making sure communication is clear goes a long way, iykwim. It's not hard to say 'we need to think about weaning off the dummy because we have a policy etc.', and that sends a very different message than the one I received today.

    I hate thinking about poor little babies having to be protected from my stomper :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Marigold~ View Post
    I wanted to add, when I worked in childcare we had many "boisterous" little people, some just weren't aware of their own strength. It definitely wasn't always an indication of them being "bullies". I worked with toddlers aged 18 months through to kindergarten aged kids and saw so many changes and developments.
    Your DS is just a BABY Not a bully.

    Sent from my GT-S7500T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    I don't have any other advice but I just wanted to say I totally agree with this post. Your DS is far too young to be a 'bully'. He's not deliberately setting out to hurt other children. He doesn't understand the consequences of his actions or that he is even capable of hurting someone else. He will eventually learn more appropriate behaviour.
    No need to label him as a bully, he sounds like a totally normal little boy to me

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    hi is this just a one off statement made to you about your DS? kids have off days etc and when my DD was at this stage, sometimes we picked her up to be told oh she did this or she hit this kid today for no reason...sort of randomly, maybe once a week we would get a report of her doing something bad, TBH I didn't pay a great deal of attention...she was at the stage where she was about 20-22 months old and she was the oldest in the baby room and she was bored and also cos of them having more babies then she got less attention etc so I don't think its as simple as just being too aggressive...they did start givnig her more time in the next room up tho and moved her up early...when she did move for a first few weeks she tended to come home a bit battered and bruised so I guess that's a concern for them as well...she was a big fish in a small pond in the baby's room but no match for a 3.5 yo....I would go back and chat to the room leader if you are concerned and whether they are actually concerned about his behaviour, I took stuff form home into the cc occasionally to deal with behaviour I was concerned about (ie crying upon separation etc to keep her entertained when I left)..I found they are open to any suggestions that I could bring and made their day easier... your DS doesn't sound like a bully to me...

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  13. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by jfblady72 View Post
    hi is this just a one off statement made to you about your DS? kids have off days etc and when my DD was at this stage, sometimes we picked her up to be told oh she did this or she hit this kid today for no reason...sort of randomly, maybe once a week we would get a report of her doing something bad, TBH I didn't pay a great deal of attention...she was at the stage where she was about 20-22 months old and she was the oldest in the baby room and she was bored and also cos of them having more babies then she got less attention etc so I don't think its as simple as just being too aggressive...they did start givnig her more time in the next room up tho and moved her up early...when she did move for a first few weeks she tended to come home a bit battered and bruised so I guess that's a concern for them as well...she was a big fish in a small pond in the baby's room but no match for a 3.5 yo....I would go back and chat to the room leader if you are concerned and whether they are actually concerned about his behaviour, I took stuff form home into the cc occasionally to deal with behaviour I was concerned about (ie crying upon separation etc to keep her entertained when I left)..I found they are open to any suggestions that I could bring and made their day easier... your DS doesn't sound like a bully to me...
    She made it sound like it's been happening over a couple of weeks. And I get what everyone is saying - he's too little to be a bully. He doesn't get it. But she said that he is rough on purpose and enjoys it, which is kind of what a bully is. But, it's true, he just needs to learn that it's not right.

    It's a change too. He loves this little girl and for ages if anyone went near her he'd kind of muscle in on them, and I kind of understand that behaviour. This seems more random.

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    She made it sound like it's been happening over a couple of weeks. And I get what everyone is saying - he's too little to be a bully. He doesn't get it. But she said that he is rough on purpose and enjoys it, which is kind of what a bully is. But, it's true, he just needs to learn that it's not right.

    It's a change too. He loves this little girl and for ages if anyone went near her he'd kind of muscle in on them, and I kind of understand that behaviour. This seems more random.
    My thoughts? He might just be doing it because he "can", with absolutely no negative or nasty intent. It's possibly just exploration of his world, which is new! Sussing out reactions, playing with boundaries etc.
    My DD is 2 and smacks me (and even the cats) quite often. I know she's not secretly a thug though, I know it's very normal, 2 year old behaviour that they eventually move on from.

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  16. #19
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
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    Also, toddlers are naturally selfish little beings, until sharing/respect is learned. It's a developmental process. So I think it's quite normal for them to become easily peeved at their peers, fight over everything and even hit out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    It may not be as simple as just moving him up- they may not have the space to move him into the next room or there may be other kids who need to move up first. Or they may believe he's not emotionally/developmentally ready to move up ahead of time.
    It actually sounds like they ARE doing what they can to keep him entertained. Honestly (not you OP) the CC worker bashing on BH drives me batty
    Oh and the dummy thing may be a policy in the next room up- in the centre my kids are at, comfort items are strongly discouraged apart from at rest time from the toddler room up. So that may be what the comment was about.
    I don't think there's much you can do at home except try not to worry- it seems like it's just a situational issue and not to do with his personality/temperament.
    My DS was one of the biggest in his room and just stomped all over the babies and as a February baby there was no way they could move him up in term 4, they just did what yours seem to be doing, which was just try to protect the babies (lol) and send him out to the big kids whenever possible.
    Everything in this post. Except my ds1 was a November baby and they made it a priority to move him up a room in December (he is huge, towers over other kids and likes physical play. He was being under challenged and was getting bored in the babies room).

    Harvs: perhaps FL, myself and yourself could start a parents of big bad toddlers club?
    - on the upside my ds1 is going great in the toddler room now. He is back to being his normal sensitive considerate self.


 

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