So ds is 2 next month and we have managed until now with me just working 2 days per week.
But it means money is tight and we have to watch everything we spend. Plus we are trying to save more deposit so we can sell our house and upgrade.
The one we are in is not overly big and we are quite cramped and don't have a spare bedroom we can use for another child (our plan was always to have two kids).
But the rate we can save at means we are several years off being able to do this. By which stage we are talking probably a six year gap between ds and baby #2.
So this leaves us with either don't have another child or me increase work from 2 to 3 days and ds go to day care one of those days. Currently mum looks after him while I work but I don't think it's fair on ds to be stuck at home three days a week without any interaction with other kids.
I think I'm ok with the actual him being in care, but I'm struggling with the thought of having to be away from him three days a week.
Honestly the thought of it is making me so upset I just want to cry. So then I think oh well we'll just stay here and not have another child or make us fit here. But then another part of me thinks I hated leaving him in the beginning but I got used to it because I didn't have a choice so maybe that will be the case with an extra day.
I'm just so torn right now. The extra day would mean we are in a better financial position and wouldn't have to watch every cent but then I'm giving up time with ds that I'll never get back.
No real point to this post I guess other than to get it off my chest.