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  1. #1
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    Default Struggling with thought of increasing hours

    So ds is 2 next month and we have managed until now with me just working 2 days per week.

    But it means money is tight and we have to watch everything we spend. Plus we are trying to save more deposit so we can sell our house and upgrade.

    The one we are in is not overly big and we are quite cramped and don't have a spare bedroom we can use for another child (our plan was always to have two kids).

    But the rate we can save at means we are several years off being able to do this. By which stage we are talking probably a six year gap between ds and baby #2.

    So this leaves us with either don't have another child or me increase work from 2 to 3 days and ds go to day care one of those days. Currently mum looks after him while I work but I don't think it's fair on ds to be stuck at home three days a week without any interaction with other kids.

    I think I'm ok with the actual him being in care, but I'm struggling with the thought of having to be away from him three days a week.

    Honestly the thought of it is making me so upset I just want to cry. So then I think oh well we'll just stay here and not have another child or make us fit here. But then another part of me thinks I hated leaving him in the beginning but I got used to it because I didn't have a choice so maybe that will be the case with an extra day.

    I'm just so torn right now. The extra day would mean we are in a better financial position and wouldn't have to watch every cent but then I'm giving up time with ds that I'll never get back.

    No real point to this post I guess other than to get it off my chest.

  2. #2
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    I fall into the group of keeping debt to a minimum in order to be a sahm. You may not really need a bigger home in order to have another bub.

    Youre in your own home so to me thats impressive

    Sent from my SM-G900I using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Donnab739  (16-09-2014)

  4. #3
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    Honestly, I don't know that anyone else can give you much advice. It's going to have to come down to your priorities. Sucks that you have to choose though, hey?

    Our DD is nearly 2, and I've barely worked since she was born. I did a bit of casual work earlier in the year, but then dropped that. DP has a low income as well, so we don't earn much. Personally, I'm happy with how we have things. We're TTC bub #2 as well. If I wanted to have more spare money, or be able to save for something big.... I don't know. It'd be a hard choice.

    How flexible is your work? Would they allow you to trial 3 days a week, and see how you go?

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    Donnab739  (17-09-2014)

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    I went from nothing to full time 5 days when my second was 15 months. It is hard but you get used to it. If I had a smaller mortgage I would love to only work 3 or 4 days.

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    Donnab739  (17-09-2014)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
    I went from nothing to full time 5 days when my second was 15 months. It is hard but you get used to it. If I had a smaller mortgage I would love to only work 3 or 4 days.
    Same but DD is 12 months. It gets easier and it's great knowing she's played with other kids and had fun

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    Donnab739  (17-09-2014)

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    My mum looks after my 2yo son for the two days weekdays I work, as I don't want to send him to daycare.

    Can you get your mum to take him to a local park, library, playgroup? Two year olds don't really need much time with other kids.

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    Donnab739  (17-09-2014)

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    Only you know what are the priorities for your family, op. I am a sahm at the moment, and we choose to live on less $$. I know this is not the right choice for everyone. One thing i will say is, are you sure another bubba wont fit in your house? I dont buy into the notion that every child must have their own bedroom, and my older two share so make room for the third. If i have a fourth, the oldest three will share a room. Plus i find when we already have all the baby/kid stuff, an extra child doesnt take up much more room. Also, are there any not-too-expensive modifications you could make on your house to create more space? Any inefficient uses of space that could be converted? A paved outdoor verandah area that could have cafe blinfs added to make an extra room for play, etc? I personally wouldnt hold off having another child just because they wont have their own room, i think have one when you want, and make them fit! But that again, is such a personal choice.

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    Donnab739  (17-09-2014)

  14. #8
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    Thank you all for your replies. Was really just venting but it's nice to read others perspectives on things.

    Quote Originally Posted by MsMummy View Post
    My mum looks after my 2yo son for the two days weekdays I work, as I don't want to send him to daycare.

    Can you get your mum to take him to a local park, library, playgroup? Two year olds don't really need much time with other kids.
    Mum isn't overly mobile in the respect of if he decided to take off while out she wouldn't be able to catch him. He is normally ok not to run off but does on occasions.


 

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