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  1. #1
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    Default 50/50 custody

    Hi all, just wondering if anyone else has a 50/50 care agreement with their ex and does it work for the kids?
    Thanks

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  2. #2
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    Yes, week on week off. Works well, although there are days where I have to grin and bear things. Kids have been doing it for around 5 years now, and have gotten used to it. But I can see things changing when DD hits high school in 2016 ! eeek. I am not really looking forward to the convo with the XH !

  3. #3
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    Thank you for your reply :-)
    Do you and your ex communicate effectively together?
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  4. #4
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    We only communicate if there is a drama eg kids are sick or problem at school. Other than that no we don't talk or communicate.

  5. #5
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    Does you ex listen to your ideas and opinions if there is a problem?

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    My ex and I have 50/50 shared care of our 3 and 4 year old.

    It works well for the most part, we get along well and have long chats about the kids.

    We have mutual objectives, to raise our kids happy and well, focussing on that helps.

  7. #7
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    Has your ex repartnered? Mine has and his wife has say in everything to do with our kids and it ends up feeling like I'm just a babysitter or an outsider not their mother. My ex doesnt give a poo about my opinion and never has. Our households are totally different, expectations, rules, chores to bed times. Theres too many differences and our eldest has in the last year had severe anxiety yet we still couldnt come together for that.
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by overcrowded View Post
    Has your ex repartnered? Mine has and his wife has say in everything to do with our kids and it ends up feeling like I'm just a babysitter or an outsider not their mother. My ex doesnt give a poo about my opinion and never has. Our households are totally different, expectations, rules, chores to bed times. Theres too many differences and our eldest has in the last year had severe anxiety yet we still couldnt come together for that.
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    I'm the "interfering stepmum" in this case. My DH runs everything by me and not the kids' mother. That is because she is extremely difficult, and as a childcare educator and psychologist, I have quite a bit f experience with the issues we have faced. Our rules are totally different too- we include the kids in the setting up and conflict resolution. She just yells, no consequences or punishment, just yelling.

    My DH hates his ex, but the kids don't know that. They know that he doesn't like to spend time with her and are ok with it. He will force himself to communicate with her when necessary. Everything is supposed to be done via email (parenting agreement), but she rings instead- for every little thing. She also takes hours, and sometimes days t reply to simple questions.

    The kids do know that their mother hates DH, and dislikes me- she has told them. We get yelled at fr everything from the kids going to bed early at ours (when they're tired even) to our consequences for poor behaviour (agreed upon with the kids so they know the rules and consequences).

    I stepped up because she is less hostile with me, so I do the majority of the "parenting" even though I'm 'only a step parent'.

    Is it possible you ex feels too much conflict when dealing with you? And finds it easier to let his wife do it? Not saying that is ok, he is their father and should step up.

  9. #9
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    I have 50:50 care with my ex with kids of 10,7 and 5. Kids are doing well but we basically have parellel parenting as my ex hates me.


 

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