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  1. #21
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    I have a 20 month gap between my dd's. I'm finding it easier then when I only had my first newborn more organsied etc

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeavenBlue View Post
    Interesting thread. I'm starting to consider TTC #2 now that is DS is 5mo. The fog of the early months is lifting and I'm wondering if I'm mad. The responses here are making me think I'm not so mad after all.
    If I had my time again I would prefer a 3 year minimum gap. Having 2 under 15 months would be hell on earth...

  3. #23
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    My mum had 15 months between her first 2. With her 2nd she had to go to the hospital every day for weeks towards the end to check her urine, on the bus with her 1st bub in tow.

    She never talks about how hard it was having 2 so close. She says how both were easy babies (unlike her 3rd). But does she winge about how hard it was catching the bus all the time and being pregnant with a toddler? Absolutely!

    Hopefully you will have the same experience and find 2 bubs easier than pregnant+1.

  4. #24
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    My two are 19.5 months apart. Honestly it was fine!

    There were hard days of course, but over all, it was good.

    Things that got my through....baby wearing, I had no time to be faffing around with patting and shushing and it enabled us get out of the house plenty and getting out of the house most mornings.

    I also as quickly as possible got both kids sleeping at the same time for the middle of the day sleep. Because my first born was still young I was able to move his sleep around depending on what the baby was doing. Having them both asleep in the middle of the day (even if the cross over time was only 30 minutes) gave me time to sit and eat my lunch and just chill out for a minute.

    There were sh!t days of course, but you cope because you have to. Now they are 4 and 2 and they play amazingly together (they fight too). I am considering number 3 at the moment and am concerned that the potential 3.5 year age gap will be too big!

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    Hamilicious  (15-09-2014)

  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I don't mean to be a party pooper but 2 under 2.... F @rk that will be bloody hard. You will have things like toilet training, big beds and tantrums to deal with at the same time as having a newborn. My boys are just over 2 years apart and it's been hard. It's taken me 6 months to get on top of things after bub. I think those who say it's a breeze are special mums and in the minority.

    I hope your bub is easy.

    My advice: get in a routine early on but don't stress if things aren't perfect. Oh and keep your toddler in daycare at least 2 days per week, more at the start while bub is a newborn!
    I don't know, maybe you are right and I'm one of the special mums in the minority Or maybe it's what someone else said, there is no way back so you adjust to feel it's ok!

    I think it's been fine. Yes, it's tiring and there are a lot of nappies. Yes, getting out of ter house takes a lot of preparation and some days it can be a bit crazy. But as long as you don't tackle too many things at once, and keep your expectations in check it's alright.

    For example, you can choose to do the change to big bed before the baby comes or you can just keep 2 cots for a while. Or you can wait a bit longer to toilet train, most people who wait longer tend to do it very quickly because the child is ready and has the communication skills to get it straight away.

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    Hamilicious  (15-09-2014)

  8. #26
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    You're still in the fairly new baby stage though aren't you? I think our perceptions change as the kids get older and we all forget just how full on it was at the time. No denying that some babies are much easier than others, and some parents can tolerate more than others of course. But I also think that it is natural that we don't remember just how full on it was - otherwise no one would ever go back and have more babies!

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    If I had my time again I would prefer a 3 year minimum gap. Having 2 under 15 months would be hell on earth...

  9. #27
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    I have a 16 month gap between my boys, and it's been hard work!!! It didn't help that DS2 was a terrible sleeper until we went to sleep school when he turned 1 and had reflux for the first 6-8 months of his life. All a total shock to my system as DS1 didn't have reflux and was a pretty good sleeper from early on.

    DS2 is now 16 months old and even though he's sleeping well, I still struggle some days being at home with the 2 of them. He is very clingy and my oldest is very demanding so I feel like I am being pulled in 2 directions constantly. Taking them out anywhere on my own is even harder! They both hate the pram and if I let DS1 walk, then DS2 wants to follow him (life was easier when he was immobile!!!!) and screams and carries on if he doesn't get put down. I've pretty much given up doing public outings on my own and stick to going to friends or families houses as it's so much easier to contain them!

    I think it all depends on your children as to how it will be for you, and also how much support and help you have. My hubby works away so I'm on my own for a few weeks at a time without a break which doesn't help.

    Whatever happens, you adjust and adapt and you survive!

  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    You're still in the fairly new baby stage though aren't you? I think our perceptions change as the kids get older and we all forget just how full on it was at the time. No denying that some babies are much easier than others, and some parents can tolerate more than others of course. But I also think that it is natural that we don't remember just how full on it was - otherwise no one would ever go back and have more babies!
    Babies are great! It's toddlers that can suck at times!

  11. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I don't mean to be a party pooper but 2 under 2.... F @rk that will be bloody hard. You will have things like toilet training, big beds and tantrums to deal with at the same time as having a newborn. My boys are just over 2 years apart and it's been hard. It's taken me 6 months to get on top of things after bub. I think those who say it's a breeze are special mums and in the minority.

    I hope your bub is easy.

    My advice: get in a routine early on but don't stress if things aren't perfect. Oh and keep your toddler in daycare at least 2 days per week, more at the start while bub is a newborn!
    I am definitely not a special mum....having three under four nearly killed me, but I did find 2 under 2 easy. However there's a difference between having 2 under 2 and 2 under 2.5 years IMO.
    This is how it was easy for me:

    When pregnant DD1 still napped, which meant I napped too. Score!

    DD2 was 3 months old before true tantrums started, therefore DD2 was in a much more predictable routine and was happy to be left entertaining herself under a play gym why I attended to DD1 and her crankiness. DD2 was a cling on baby for the first two months, which was fine (I just used slings/wraps etc.) but I wouldn't be able to try and calm a kicking/hitting 2 year old with a newborn attached to me.

    DD1 still had a predictable afternoon nap at 21 months and I tweaked DD2's routine so that they napped together. This helped with lack of sleep through the night so much...plus housework/dinner etc.

    DD1 went in to a big bed at 18 months, so the adjustment was done and dusted before DD2 was born.

    DD1 didn't toilet train until she was almost 3 years old...so DD2 was already 14 months. It was a sweet gig because DD2 learnt off DD1 that poo goes in the toilet, and as such stopped doing poos in her nappy at 16 months Had we had DD2 when DD1 was older I would have been doing the toilet training thing with a newbie...but I never did much to toilet train my kids, just waited until they were ready and they decided and we had a week with one or two accidents and that was it. It just meant I had two in nappies, but we used cloth so there wasn't any extra expense.

    I had no daycare/pre-school/school days to be ready for so if DD2 just wanted to feed all morning we had no big rush to get ready to go out. DD2 was 17 months before DD1 started pre-school, she never went to daycare.


    I do remember life getting easier when DD2 turned one, but I say 2 under 2 is busy, not hard. 3 under 4 was busy and hard. I had a far, far easier time with 2 under 2. Yes it took longer to get out of the house, and some times I'd bath my oldest at 3pm because it meant there was one less thing to be doing at the 'witching' hour, but it was all manageable and doable.
    Last edited by Full House; 15-09-2014 at 21:56.

  12. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Babies are great! It's toddlers that can suck at times!
    Haha see I totally think the opposite, I much prefer 12months + as opposed to newborns/babies.

    I had a 26 month gap between #1 and #2 and a 3yr gap between #2 & #3. Its really hard to objectively say what I found easier because we had a LOT of issues with DS2.

    We should have had a 16 month gap between #1 and #2 but I had a m/c. In hindsight, im grateful for the slightly bigger gap.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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