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  1. #1
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    Default How do I get things started?

    Today I have learnt that I'm just not worth the effort to try and fix our marriage. Dh will literally just stare at me when I ask any question or just reply with 'I don't know'
    There is no closure for me as he will not talk to me about it. Just says 'we will both be happier' (if we end it) I have tried so many times to fix things but he wont budge. Just wants to end it....

    So as I am a SAHM with no income of my own, how do I get a place to rent for my two kids and I? Would rent assistance cover it all? Im looking around $300-$350/wk where Im from (hopefully I can get full time work asap as I dont know how I will survive)
    I know I can trust dh to provide for the kids, I suppose you could say we are amicable.
    I have never rented will it be incredibly hard for me with no rent history and little kids and no job?

    Dh wants to stay in the house together until it sells and he has said I can have all the big items in the house. But I just want to leave now and let him get the house ready for sale.

    Sorry if this doesnt make any sense. All I can keep thinking is Im just not worth it.

    If anyone can let me know what I need to do to prepare for seperation. And how do I explain this all to dd who is nearly 5? Ds is 5months so he will never know what it's like to live with a dad :-(


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  2. #2
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    Just wanted to give you a hug. Sorry I'm not in the know.

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    Purple Poppy  (14-09-2014)

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    I am so sorry you are going through this especially with a baby so young, I can imagine things would be hectic enough. I have no practical advice, just wanted to say I think it's crappy of him that he won't work on things

    ooh, and I think it would be beneficial for you to get copies of important documents and info about your financial situation (incl. his pay) in case it doesn't remain amicable. You may find this handy for child support, etc. Also, call centrelink and request single parenting payment. This will be backdated to the day you call, so the sooner the better.


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    Purple Poppy  (14-09-2014)

  6. #4
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    I'm so sorry you're going through this. You are absolutely worth 'it'. Its not about you not being worth fighting for - its about whatever is going on with him, in his head. This is all about him in one way or another, and about him being selfish.

    He wants to end the relationship but stay in the house together til it sells? Utterly selfish. If he wants to leave the relationship then he needs to actually leave. Plus he has a job - it will be easier for him to find a rental. If he stays in the house and you leave then he has no incentive to actually sell the house in a timely fashion. Its good that you're amicable, but don't let him use that to get everything he wants whilst making life very difficult for you and the kids.

    I'd be telling him that if he has decided he doesn't want to save the marriage and he wants to leave then he needs to find somewhere else to live. And I would get legal advice asap. Look up the community legal centre in your area, that can be a good place to start. Photocopy all your important documents now and keep them in a separate folder.

    Big, big hugs.

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    Purple Poppy  (15-09-2014)

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    Purely for financial reasons id stay in the house as long as you can. No point paying rent if you dont have to.

    In the meantime be as practical as possible. Make copies of all important documents. Any assetts etc.

    Hopefully things stay amicable for you but they dont always.

    Take it 1 step at a time. Day by day. Good luck x

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    Purple Poppy  (15-09-2014)

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    Oh hugs!! What an awful situation for you.

    In terms of rent assistance I think I get the full amount and it's $126 a fortnight (went down just recently from $144 ish) - so it won't cover your rent but will help. You'll probably also be entitled to more FTB and the pension (which is around $730 f/n if you don't work). Your H will also probably need to pay child support.

    I'm not sure about renting without an income as I work part time - but I had no rental history as I'd only built a house with my ex but I wrote a cover letter explaining my situation.

    Your first port of call is to ring centrelink ASAP so they are aware of your separation. They will inform you of what you are entitled to.

    I hope things go smoothly from here. Happy to chat if you need an ear

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    Purple Poppy  (15-09-2014)

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    Sorry I don't have any advice but sending big hugs your way. So sorry you going through this. Look after yourself. x

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    Default How do I get things started?

    No new advice but lots of hugs. I agree if you can bear to then staying put for as long as you can may benefit you financially, but is your 5 yo at school already or starting next year? If starting next year, I would want to be settled in a new place by then.

    I'm sorry and hope you're ok x

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    I agree with the pp do not move out. You have no idea how long it may take to sell the house and you are potentially putting yourself under financial strain renting without a job.

    He should move out. It will be far easier for the kids if they can stay in their own home.

    I am so sorry you're going through this.

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