I have been there too and it's horrible. Fortunately my nightmare only lasted 6 weeks due to not having any milk until a lovely consultant "gave me permission" to use formula. It's a horrible term to use but that is what it felt like. Midwife after midwife, dr after dr, pill after pill all drilling into me that I must get more milk into my beasts! I was expressing 20-40 mls in an hour. My breasts just couldn't produce. As soon as he went to bottle and I could see the satisfaction on his little face, I was overcome with relief! It outweighed my guilt and I never looked back.
Some guilt came with DS 2 and so did the negative comments from some midwives but I wasn't going to put him through that. DS 3 was completely guilt free as I am now on some serious medication and can't BF anyway!
I'm so glad you found a great result for your beautiful boy. Thank you for sharing. Breast is great, but isn't always the best for some.