I think I might have PND. My baby is 5 months old and my daughter is 2 1/2. I feel so down and anxious all the time. I feel like I don't have anything to look forward to anymore. I have so much anger at my husband and daughter. I yell at my daughter and she seems to really act out when it is just me and the 2 kids alone. Sometimes I feel like I hate her and I feel indifferent to my baby. I've become a monster of a mother and I used to have such a great bond with my daughter. Sometimes my son is crying because he wants me, but I just leave him with his Dad and go into another room to get away, and I don't care that he is upset, I know that he has been fed, so Dad can hold him. I haven't had a proper nights sleep in 2 months, I get woken every 1-2 hours, and now I can't fall back to sleep between feeds even though I am so tired. When I do sleep, I often have nightmares.
I made appointment to see a Dr tomorrow, but I don't really like the idea of seeing someone about this. MCHNs are so judgemental about parenting, I don't want to be judged over this.
I wanted to have kids, I now have 2 beautiful people in my life and I feel like I made a mistake. I feel so evil.