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  1. #21
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    Heartstringz, it sounds like you are having an incredibly tough time. How old is your little one now?

    There is some great advice here however I feel I need to say that the swing won't work for every baby. Our first son screamed constantly for the first 10 weeks of his life - he hated any position but being held upright. The car, the pram, the bouncer, the swing, the bath, his cot ... everything was a nightmare. I took him to so many doctors and got so much conflicting advice, but the worst was "he'll grow out of it after a few weeks"... When you are struggling to get through each day the thought of the next few weeks is enough to send you in to utter despair. Finally, at 10 weeks he was diagnosed with silent reflux. Four days after starting medication he was a different baby - he slept... for longer than 20 minutes... and in his bed and not my arms!

    I just want to say that after the first few weeks of dealing with a constantly screaming baby, I realised I would just have to put him down so I could shower, eat and go to the toilet. Yes, it was hard hearing him cry however I had a wonderful child and maternal health nurse who stated plainly to me that if he was fed, dry, warm, secure etc. then a few minutes of crying so mummy could tend to her needs would not scar him (or me) for life. Yes, sometimes the screaming escalated and he would be even harder to settle, but I realised as the weight was falling off me and I was lacking energy that I needed to stop and eat or I'd be no good to anyone. My son is now a healthy, robust 7 year old, who incidentally is still on medication for his reflux.

    Has he definitely been ruled out has having any allergies or reflux? I haven't read all your previous posts so not sure if you've gotten second opinions but may be worth looking into - we went to 4 doctors in the first 10 weeks of our son's life before his reflux diagnosis. Also, I know friends who have had babies with lactose intolerance who have been similarly unsettled.

    I really hope you get some respite soon. Maybe just buy a second hand swing from gumtree so at least if it doesn't work you haven't spent a fortune.

    Good luck and hang in there, there is life beyond a screaming newborn!

  2. #22
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    It depends on the baby, but I do find that a routine works where you do the exact same things in the same order before doing things like feeding, putting to sleep and,soothing babies.

    It can be hard as usually if bubs is screaming we do try a million things and do what works, but in the end we confuse our bubs as they don't understand what us going on.

    I do hate to say this (as I struggle with the reality of this).... but babies have different personalities and whilst WE as mothers may hate them crying and we just want them to be soothed instantly, sometimes this just isn't,going to happen and some babies NEED to cry while we teach them what comes next and there's no escaping it.

    Its especially hard when before we have our babies, the media is full of images or smiling, cute, happy babies who eat and sleep and their parents looking at them lovingly, filled with love and joy, then we become mothers and realise, this isn't what all babies are like and we search for answers as we are met with a situation where we are stressed, sleep deprived, feel isolated as literally EVERYTHING is about a baby and they aren't so easy creatures. It becomes a vicious circle of having our expectations dashed and think we are doing it all wrong.

    But I can tell you, you aren't doing anything wrong! You just need to find what works for YOUR baby even if that means a bit if crying, you may find its short term pain for long term gain.

    Remember your mental health is the most important thing and if you feel that you're depressed by the whole entire situation, you need to look after yourself.

    Look up Dr. Harvey Kerp's 5 S's about soothing a baby I believe he's a 'gentle' practitioner, so you may want to try some of his tips before trying Tizzie Hall if you're against all crying.

  3. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to A-Squared For This Useful Post:

    Little Miss Sunshine  (08-09-2014),olismumma  (08-09-2014),SuperGranny  (08-09-2014)

  4. #23
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    I also found that the swing worked only sometimes.

    Sometimes popping her in the pram and walking from room to room, or just rocking her back and forth every now and then worked.

    other times, I put her in a washing basket with a pillow ... and put it on the bench ... so she could see me and did what I had to do (eat, cook etc). worked a treat.


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    Yeah, the swing worked really well for my first baby (had to be the cradle side to side swing, hated any other swing) but not as well for my other 2. But I found the combination of swing/bouncer/and carrier meant there was usually one alternative she/he would be happy with if I just tried a few things, and then I could get some food. For my youngest, the bouncer was really our saviour, though I do babywear a lot too, I still got plenty of hands free time thanks to the bouncer, but I was ALWAYS bouncing it. So it wasn't like full free time away from him, coz he'd start screaming as soon as I'd stop bounching! Haha. But it meant hands free for a bit and he'd happily look up at me from the floor while I bounced him with my feet. I don't think he liked the swing because he figured if I was going to put him in there I was going to walk away, but with the bouncer he knew I was always going to be there bouncing it.

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    My DS2 had really severe reflux which led to him just screaming all day and all night long. When I finally heard about electric baby swings- my sanity came back. As PP said though - it isn't a magic fix, and for me, I had to change my parenting style. Where with my first one I tended to his every whimper- when DS2 came - he also came with DS3 and even if I wanted too I couldn't drop everything to hold him all the time - there were too many things to do - to many kids to look after. So yeah, I had to learn how to just let go and let him scream for awhile. He got used to it, I got used to it. It turned out fine. I had anxiety too, so the sound of a screaming baby was hard, I did end up in therapy and on meds for it - it helped so much. I haven't had a panic attack in 5 or 6 years now and haven't needed meds for 6 and half years.
    Last edited by beebs; 08-09-2014 at 14:24.

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    Thanks ladies

    I tried some of the sos stuff this arvo but he cried so much that he started choking & gasping for air so I had to pick him up & couldnt put him down again

    Half the time he wont settle in his rocker, pram or anywhere else except if im holding him

    And holding him is no longer working - by the time dh gets home im completely knackered, ive got nothing left.

    I suspect the problem is that he's so tired because he wont sleep during the day. He might get one or two 20 minute naps but thats it. He usually wont sleep for more than 20 - 30 mins on me either. He sleeps for about 7-8 hours overnight so he's probably not getting more than 9 hours sleep in 24hrs most days. He's 9 weeks old.

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    Last edited by heartstringz; 08-09-2014 at 15:48.

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    This is my bub too! She cries unless eating, sleeping or being held!! It's bloody hard especially with a toddler!!! I am finding the carrier hard as it still hurts my back. I've tried starting a routine but it's pointless as she can't self settle

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    And my baby has silent reflux. Unfortunately she hates the swing

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    You said in a previous thread that you won't go to sleep school but not sure that you know that they don't just deal with sleep, rather they help with routine and also what's normal for baby and what not (health wise).

    I'm not sure where you are but I went to a really good one in Sydney that now comes to your home and spends a few hours with you, helping you with bub and showing you how to help them and yourself.

    It was a godsend for me coz I had no idea how to juggle 2 kids when ds2 came along and the advice certainly helped when ds3 joined us as well. Best money I ever spent on my kids and my sanity.

    The swing is a great idea but if bub is overtired there isn't much other than cuddles or a bath that will settle tg long term... You gotta avoid the over tiredness first...

    And ps agree with the wrapping of the arms, I'd keep my kids wrapped till age 2 if it meant they'd sleep better!!

  11. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkIsTheNewBlack View Post
    And my baby has silent reflux. Unfortunately she hates the swing
    have you tried the swing for very long? sometimes in can take a week or two but you have to keep persisting.. it took 3 weeks with my little one when he had reflux... some babies are better with the swings that go sideways rather than front to back.. ive heard the sideways swing is more efficient than the front and back..


 

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