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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2012

    Default Struggling

    I found out on Thursday that I have a FSH of 22, a really bad AMH (can't remember the exact amount) and that I have virtually zero chance of conceiving naturally. Slightly higher than zero with IVF.
    I'm finding it difficult to cope with this. I've told a few people, not had much of a response, I keep getting told just to be thankful I have my DS. I AM thankful, more than anything I'm so grateful. But it's a hurtful response, as it is like I'm being told that I shouldn't be upset because at least I have one. My family isn't complete. I want another child, so does DH, I'm so sad that DS will probably be an only child and it was really important to me for him to have a sibling.
    I go from feeling negative and like I am grieving, to positive and upbeat about IVF, then back to sad, scared, in denial. Mostly I feel like I can't breathe.
    No one seems to care. I'm sure they do care but I feel totally lost, my heart hurts, I feel like someone is sitting on my chest. I've told people but beyond the 'im sorry' on one occasion I feel like they're not interested. I emailed a best friend telling her (I'm in Australia, she is in London) she has read the email but not even replied. Another friend was going to Skype but didn't show. My sister has sent a few texts but is (understandably as it looks like it runs our family) worried about herself.
    I know everyone either just doesn't know what to say to me or doesn't understand how hard it is to hear that how i imagined my future would be is all over.
    I'm driving DH crazy with my emotions and he has his own to deal with.
    I even had a job interview lined up for tomorrow as I hate my stressful job but I've had to withdraw as I don't think I can give 100% to the interview plus the job would start just as im starting IVF and I don't think I could deal with both.
    I feel like I'm drowning here!
    Is it normal to feel so upset about this??
    How do I get to staying positive and upbeat like you all???

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    I am really sorry to read your story, it bloody sucks. I know how you feel about wanting a sibling for your DS, I want one for my DD. I know I should be happy with one, I love her to pieces but our family isn't complete. I am off to see a new fertility specialist today and hoping to get the ball rolling as soon as possible with ivf.
    Give yourself a break, you have had some ****ty news, people who don't have fertility issues never say or do the right things in my experience. I really hope your quest for a second child is successful x

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Killarneygirl For This Useful Post:

    MissWildChild  (08-09-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Hi MissWildChild, I don't have any advice as this isn't something I've been through and I don't think it's something you could truly understand unless you have. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your bad news. I think it's a bit ****ty that your friends haven't fronted up and shown some real support. Perhaps they don't know what to say but I think that just being listened to would be what you need right now. I think people tend to hey caught up in their own 'stuff' and find it difficult to put someone else as a priority in a difficult time. I had a similar experience recently (different traumatic experience but it felt like people just shrugged it off).. I was confused because I am never one to reach out for help or share my "drama" so I thought they would realise it was something really big for me today something but the couple of people I shared it with I just got a text msg reply... My mum was the only one to really "get it". I am not sure why it is... But try and find someone who will support you perhaps even it is a counsellor? And give yourself time to grieve.

    I really wish you the best of luck with the IVF and that things do work out. Thinking of you!


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