I found out on Thursday that I have a FSH of 22, a really bad AMH (can't remember the exact amount) and that I have virtually zero chance of conceiving naturally. Slightly higher than zero with IVF.
I'm finding it difficult to cope with this. I've told a few people, not had much of a response, I keep getting told just to be thankful I have my DS. I AM thankful, more than anything I'm so grateful. But it's a hurtful response, as it is like I'm being told that I shouldn't be upset because at least I have one. My family isn't complete. I want another child, so does DH, I'm so sad that DS will probably be an only child and it was really important to me for him to have a sibling.
I go from feeling negative and like I am grieving, to positive and upbeat about IVF, then back to sad, scared, in denial. Mostly I feel like I can't breathe.
No one seems to care. I'm sure they do care but I feel totally lost, my heart hurts, I feel like someone is sitting on my chest. I've told people but beyond the 'im sorry' on one occasion I feel like they're not interested. I emailed a best friend telling her (I'm in Australia, she is in London) she has read the email but not even replied. Another friend was going to Skype but didn't show. My sister has sent a few texts but is (understandably as it looks like it runs our family) worried about herself.
I know everyone either just doesn't know what to say to me or doesn't understand how hard it is to hear that how i imagined my future would be is all over.
I'm driving DH crazy with my emotions and he has his own to deal with.
I even had a job interview lined up for tomorrow as I hate my stressful job but I've had to withdraw as I don't think I can give 100% to the interview plus the job would start just as im starting IVF and I don't think I could deal with both.
I feel like I'm drowning here!
Is it normal to feel so upset about this??
How do I get to staying positive and upbeat like you all???