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  1. #1
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    Default What NOT to say to someone after pregnancy loss

    So I had a D&C for a mmc about a month ago (cautiously pregnant again), and one of the recurring things that people say to me is,

    "Oh, I know SO many people who've had a miscarriage before all their other children. It's the body's way of clearing out/preparing for the real thing."

    Um, what? I also know lots of women with NO history of miscarriage who have children, so what's the deal? I know they're trying to make me feel better () but there's no denying it was a real pregnancy, not to 'pave the way' for my 'real' children.

    Anyone else have this said to them/is there any truth to it at all? It seems almost everyone I talk to has this opinion of it.

  2. #2
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    Oh wow, that's massively insensitive. I'm sorry for your loss

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    MummyUnicorn  (07-09-2014)

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    ive had 7 miscarriages and each one my then MIL would say.. oh well you are young, you will be fine.... umm . no... she never had one so how would she damn well know... stupid woman Thank god shes my ex MIL

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    Oh Louise, that sounds awful It seems like the really insensitive comments are from women who've never had to endure it.

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    My sil told me I would get over it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MummyUnicorn View Post
    Oh Louise, that sounds awful It seems like the really insensitive comments are from women who've never had to endure it.

    yep, they just dont understand... im sorry for your loss xx

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    I once googled 'what not to say to someone who's had a miscarriage'. I found some top 10 list and yep - I had every one of those thoughtless comments made to me - 'at least you can fall', 'it wasn't meant to be', 'lucky it was early, blah blah blah f$()$ off! It's horrible and it IS a loss. I'm sorry you've had to go through it op :-(

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    Apple iPhart6  (07-09-2014),BettyW  (07-09-2014)

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    I don't think that there's any truth to that theory. I think it's a pretty insensitive thing to say. I'm sure they mean well but it's not really an appropriate thing to say.

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    What a ridiculous thing to say... Who in their right mind would think that's okay?

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    Oh I've had quite a few sh*tty insensitive comments -

    Maybe it was for the best, you really need to go back to work

    Maybe you guys just need to give up and accept you aren't meant to have another baby

    The universe is telling you something

    You need to be thankful for the 2 you have.

    At least you lost it before it was a real baby.


 

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