I just need to vent about my work place, I'm feeling a bit annoyed and miffed really but then I feel guilty about it.
So someone in management lost their FIL this week, it was expected he'd been very sick for a while and I am sad for this person's loss. The common thing in such a situation is that someone organises to buy flowers and asks others to put in, which is nice. And this is what what has happened with a note in the staff room saying "I've arranged flowers for X and would appreciate everyone put in for them"
Normally I wouldn't think twice about this and put in even if X wasn't my favourite person, it's not nice for anyone to loss someone and flowers is a nice gesture.
Which is where we get to my dilemma, a few months ago I lost my grandmother who I was very close to, in a similar situation it was expected and I was basically waiting for 'the' call. My grandmother lived in another state along with the rest of my family so at the time I didn't leave work that day to go be with them. If I had left work then when I got the call I would have gone home and cried on my own and I didn't feel like being alone, so I struggled through the day till I could be with my DH. Anyway no one at work bothered to buy me flowers. Not everyone knew about my loss but management did and those I work directly with did.
This was a really hard time for me being away from my family I wasn't able to grieve properly my DH did his best but he had only been in the family just over a year at the time and didn't know my grandmother like I did. It was a week and a half before we went back for the funeral and so in the mean time I just kept working to keep myself busy. I feel like maybe people didn't think it was that big a loss to me because I was still at work through it all.
Anyway it is not only deaths that this seems to happen with we have had a few leave for maternity leave recently and for one of them people did a collection and bought a basket of stuff and for the next (someone who would have put in for the previous one) no one did anything.
I just don't think it's fair that some people get this kind of consideration or generosity and others are forgotten all together. So I want to say no I won't put in on behalf of those who aren't treated equally but at the same time I feel I'm horrible if I don't put in because it is for someone's loss.