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  1. #1
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    Default To move or not to move ???

    I'm trying to make my mind up on whether dh and I should move towns. I think I know what I want to do, but I wanted to get some second opinions first. I'm not sure - given how I've been recently - if I'm being rash or it's a genuinely good idea.

    So dh and I currently live in a larger regional town. Dh's parents also live there along with one of his siblings and their partner. We moved there about 4 years ago.

    Where we live now is okay, but only okay. I have no friends outside work and, while work has been great for the first 3.5 years, I don't love it anymore. I don't feel like there are any opportunities for me to grow and developed. It's also become rather unpleasant for a number of reasons and is not getting better.

    Then there is dh's family. I cannot stand his parents. I'm sure in small doses I could but being so close is driving me mad. They interfere in everything, they push there agenda and if you don't agree then they chuck hissy fits. I'm seriously terrified when we do have children my mil will be too hard to deal with given she needs to have a say on everything we do.

    I get on okay with dh's brother and his wife but even then they have proved a few times they are really out for themselves and are happy to put us down to get what they want.

    So now a job has come up that would suit me in my home town. It's with a good firm and I am very qualified for the position.My parents live in my hometown as does my sister. My parents are very laid back and happy for dh and I to do whatever. I get a little frustrated sometimes because I would like them to be a bit more vocal sometimes but they don't want to pressure us.

    To move we would have to sell our house and, if I got the job, dh would be going without any work lined up. I'm sure he'd find something soon but it's still a scary thought. I'm also scared of telling my boss I'd be leaving, we have become friends over the years and I don't know how she would take it.

    I'm also a bit worried about a financial loss if we sold our house. I'm confident we would get back at least what we paid for it but then we would have to pay stamp duty on a new house.

    I think we should move - but those few things are eating at me but I'm not sure they are reasons to stay.

    Any thoughts??

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    jez  (05-09-2014)

  3. #2
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    How does your DH feel about moving? Sounds like he will be giving up a lot more than you if you move. If he were all for it, I would say go ahead.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleBug'sMum View Post
    How does your DH feel about moving? Sounds like he will be giving up a lot more than you if you move. If he were all for it, I would say go ahead.
    Dh is saying he is happy to move and we can sort out logistics like the house later. He thinks it will make everything easier for us. He said he wants me to apply for the job. I'm giving him some time to think about it, independently from me, to make sure he is okay with it.

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    jez  (05-09-2014)

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    If your DH is ok with it I would move.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Apply for the job and if you get it- go from there. It sounds like a chance to start fresh and everybody needs those from time to time. Could you rent your house out and rent in the other town for maybe 6 months or so?

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    I would apply for the job, talk to a real estate agent about how much you might get for your house and then see where the universe takes you!
    I see that you are ttc from your signature, from my experience you will likely want your mum around when you have babies (rather than the in laws), but also take into account the maternity leave policy for the new job, my workplace requires you to work for them for at least 12 months before getting paid maternity leave, can make a big difference financially.

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    Just be sure you're not swapping one nightmare for another. It's easy to get along with your parents if you're not living in their back pocket.

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    Having done the baby thing away from my family, I would apply for the job and move if you get it.

    I'm assuming that your husband feels he won't struggle to get work in the new town and that you are both happy to travel to see the in-laws.

    Would you get decent rent for your existing home? You could rent it out and rent in the new town. That way if you decide you need to be on the other side of town to your parents, so they don't drop in 3 times a day, then it's easier to move.

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    Thanks everyone got your comments. I think I'm going to apply for the job

    It's scary making such a big decision and I'm nervous about how upset my boss will be but I think we need to move to make things better for us. A huge factor is having the support of my family when we have kids.


 

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