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  1. #1
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    Default feeling; scared, nervous..

    Hi there everyone,

    its currently 2'0'clock in the morning and I can't sleep.. I'm 19years old expecting my first child.. the baby daddy left earlier on but lets not go there. It's finally sunk in that I'm having a baby and I'm suddenly feeling really unprepared and scared.. I'm due on oct 6th 2014, I'm still living at home with 5 siblings all younger then me and the youngest sibling being 2 1/2 years old. Both mum& dad work away during the week and come back weekends with me looking after my sibings during the week.. thing is - my little sister being 2 1/2 years old is the baby of the house and she's like my own little kid as I've been with her since day one, she even sleeps next to me in my bed during the week& even weekends.. tips on how to still spend time with my little sister as well as trying to raise a newborn baby? how can I make my little sister as not jealous as possible? How to be more prepared for everything? I'm feeling really overwhelmed, and scared.. what if I can't do it? What if I end up making my baby feel left out or my little sister left out? I don't know what to do...
    any tips and advice would be appreciated. Thanks heaps for reading.

  2. #2
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    I don't have any experience other than seeing several friends do the single-mum-from- birth thing but I just wanted to say I think you'll do a terrific job. You obviously love your siblings a lot and sounds like you're trying to be a good role model to them. There are so any women here who will be able to offer good advice. Do you have any otter support ? What are the other siblings ages (maybe if some are old enough you might have an extra set of hands?)

  3. #3
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    Thank you for saying that it really means alot.. I do want to be a good role model expecially for my youngest sister, she means the world to me. I have my parents as support and 2 other friends but I don't know how to talk to them about this sort of stuff as I come from a family where it's no personal talks aloud, if you want help find some yourself.. we've never been a "talk-about-our-problems" family.. they see it as being dramatic which sucks because I like helping people with problems and it feels good to talk to someone about my problems.. my siblings are 17, 15, 12, 9, and 2 but they aren't the "helping" type unless forced to by mum& dad.. its a "you got yourself in this situation, you get yourself out" its funny because if the situation was reversed onto my sister(17) I would do anything to help.. but I guess im just different..

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  4. #4
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    Just wanted to say you sound so incredibly mature and you will be an amazing role model for you child and siblings. I applaud you for taking on so much responsibility!

    In regards to your youngest sister especially, I would treat it all with how any family treats a new sibling coming into the family. Involve her as much as possible, let her feel bub kick. When I was pregnant with my 2nd 3rd and 4th babies, the closest sibling to them was around your youngest sisters age. I talked with them about the baby in my tummy, showed them scan photos, if we went shopping I let them pick some things for the baby that was from them. After bub was born I let them help with bathing, nappy changes etc if they wanted. Could you buy her her own baby doll and while you do things for your baby, she can copy you with her 'baby'?

    Also talk to your health care provider/midwife about support for you- they should be able to give you info about mums groups (my gp linked me to a young mums group when I had my first at 19), and any other support networks that you may benefit from. If you need to talk about anything, talk to your gp or midwife, they will have resources that will be able to help.

    You should be so proud of yourself, you sound like you are doing a wonderful job and going to make a great mummy!!

    Also what area are you in? Im in townsville and would be happy to be a friend if you need one xo

    He + Me = dd1 (July 2007), dd2 (July 2010), dd3 (August 2012), dd4 (May 2014)
    Embrace the chaos

  5. #5
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    Thank you so much

    And thank you for the tips regarding my younger sister, thats a good one about the doll il look into getting one for her - I've involved her in alot so far so hopefully it'll all work out good, she sees the cot set up as its her old cot and climbs in - I ask her "are you going to sleep in there?" She replys "noooo, its for the baby" and some days she'll grab my hand and say come on we'll go get baby? which I find so cute - so it seems she's getting used to the idea of a new baby in the house. I just don't want her to feel left out but I really like the idea of getting her a doll
    I'm going to the doctors next week so il be able to talk to my gp about the support groups and such.

    I'm living in gold coast thank you for the offer - if your ever down in gold coast or these ways feel free to contact me
    Embrace the chaos I like that - my new motto
    xo
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  6. #6
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    First of all congrats! Bubs are awesome

    I would march right into Centrelink and see what assistance you could get to rent a place of your own: even a 1 bedroom place.

    You will have your hands full with a newborn. Those first few months can be bloody hard. Thrown a toddler into the mix and without a partner you are heading into major f@rk territory. Even if you are superwoman if your parents think you will be able to cope with a newborn and looking after all their kids as well they are dreaming. Your poor siblings (especially the 2.5 year old) living without their parents during the week. How horrible for them (that's a whole other thread though).

    With regards to your younger sibling try and read those "big sister" type books which you can get from your local bookstore. It really helped my eldest cope when his younger brother came along. If you move out you could still set up play dates with the 2.5 year old, even have sleepovers when bub is more settled.
    Last edited by VicPark; 05-09-2014 at 09:21.

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  8. #7
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    Oh thats so cute!

    He + Me = dd1 (July 2007), dd2 (July 2010), dd3 (August 2012), dd4 (May 2014)
    Embrace the chaos

  9. #8
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    I totally agree with everything vicpark said.
    I hate to be all judgy judgy but why are you left to look after all your siblings during the week. You arent their mother youre their sibling.
    I think you sound like an amazing person very selfess loving and caring and our world needs more people like yourself xx

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  11. #9
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    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Gosh, you sound lovely, and your parents are very lucky to have you! I agree that moving out may be an option to consider as soon as you can. Caring for a newborn can be challenging and exhausting, and their needs always come first. I feel concerned that you are going to run yourself ragged and feel pressure to prioritise everyone in the house above yourself. I also worry about who would care for you should you succumb to PND.

    You mentioned having no emotional support within your family. I think that what you are about to embark upon can challenge and break even the most well-supported parents, and I want you to know it's ok to seek support from outside the family. You can visit your GP and be assessed for a mental health plan where you can access a limited number of bulk-billed sessions with a counsellor. Lifeline is always available. There is a parenting helpline as well.

    I don't mean to criticize your parents, but it seems to me that your goodwill and love for your family is being exploited. I understand there may be financial reasons why this setup is beneficial to the family, but I want to reinforce that you are an adult woman who is about to become a mother. You have every right to step away from caring for your siblings and move on into your adult life.

    Good luck, and there is a wealth of experience and knowledge here on the hub :-)

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  13. #10
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    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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    you sound like you are doing wonderfully well

    and the experience looking after your siblings will come in incredibly handy

    Doing this as a single mum - even with the support of family and friends - it is tough. But you sound like the sort of person who can do a fantastic job ..



 

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