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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yeah power etc... But come on... Someone who is happy and satisfied at home doesn't cheat (not me at to be a dig at the 'other' partner. There are a million reasons why a person may be unhappy).
    Or they could just be an ahole...

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yeah power etc... But come on... Someone who is happy and satisfied at home doesn't cheat (not me at to be a dig at the 'other' partner. There are a million reasons why a person may be unhappy).
    Or they may just enjoy the thrill

    Or they are just used to doing it

    Or they just think they deserve it

    I can think many reasons that have nothing to do with being unhappy at home.

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  5. #63
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    ok - we are getting a bit away from the OP's problem though.

    Perhaps start another thread to chat about they "why do they do that" aspect ... and leave this one for supporting the OP.



    How are things today @2ndtimemumma ? Did you have a good chat? Make some decisions between you?

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    @2ndtimemumma, I'm glad to hear you're working through this. If your both honest, open and keep talking then I'm sure you can get past it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BH-KatiesMum View Post
    ok - we are getting a bit away from the OP's problem though.

    Perhaps start another thread to chat about they "why do they do that" aspect ... and leave this one for supporting the OP.



    How are things today @2ndtimemumma ? Did you have a good chat? Make some decisions between you?
    I think the why in a way is important... As it is pivotal to whether or not there is hope for the OP and her hubby and if there is hope, how to get things back on track. True though no point us hypothesising. The OP is better of (when confronting her hubby) to flat out ask "why?" And keep pushing through all the anger until the real answer is revealed.

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    Yes, he has and yes I would. I have no secrets...it isn't like I am on here *****ing about him or anything...he has read a few things on here and basically his thoughts are - why do I bother? haha

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Hotmail! Showing your age there!
    - does hubby ever read your BH posts on the computer? If he did would you be comfortable with that?

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Is yours a p@rn free house? (Genuine question, I'm wondering if people's views on p@rn is affecting their advice to the OP)
    i kniw now this question wasn't directed at me, but porn is not the issue. What couples do together is their business. But when one hides something like this from the other, there's obviously some deceit going on there. Otherwise, why hide it? Why not be open about it?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ellewood View Post
    i kniw now this question wasn't directed at me, but porn is not the issue. What couples do together is their business. But when one hides something like this from the other, there's obviously some deceit going on there. Otherwise, why hide it? Why not be open about it?
    Porn is not 'the' issue but people's view on it is clouding the advice given the OP.

    I agree the hiding thing is a sign of a bigger problem.

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    OP I would always confront him. I have been where you are (so many times) and it is always better to have it out.
    Actually @Vic Park porn can be really harmful in a relationship. DH has addiction tendencies in this way, so my example (which I won't go into) are at the extreme end of the scale, but check out the website yourbrainonporn.com (aargh can't make the link work). I find it to be a well researched and referenced site on the physical changes that porn use can make to the brain. Just an interesting aside!
    Sorry to get so off topic.
    Big hugs Op

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    No, it isn't the issue - the issue is that P)rn and sexting a stranger is totally different. For someone who likes to rate things on the moral compass so much - I am actually surprised that you see nothing wrong with sexting a stranger whilst someone is in a relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Porn is not 'the' issue but people's view on it is clouding the advice given the OP.

    I agree the hiding thing is a sign of a bigger problem.

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