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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadeWithLove View Post

    I personally would confront him, you have every right to have picked up his phone, you were using it - I use DFs phone all the time when mine is flat or I can't find it etc. !
    Different couples have different boundaries. In my relationship what the OP did would have been rude. I always ask my DH before I 'play' in his phone. He always says yes, but I still always ask.

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  3. #32
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    Last edited by jemmajam; 05-09-2014 at 15:16.

  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Over sex chat? Some view it as just like a bit of p@rn. Unless there is an intent to meet up/exchange videos etc then I don't know if I would advise kicking him out..
    Yep, over sex chat - that is just plain wrong when you're in a committed relationship. If it wasn't wrong, he would be open and honest about it and she wouldn't mind him doing it! I can't believe what some people put up with. OP, you're more forgiving than me!

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Over sex chat? Some view it as just like a bit of p@rn. Unless there is an intent to meet up/exchange videos etc then I don't know if I would advise kicking him out..
    He would have been out on his ear before had a chance to open his mouth in this house. Same would go for me if I was the one doing that.

    Totally unacceptable.

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  8. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Different couples have different boundaries. In my relationship what the OP did would have been rude. I always ask my DH before I 'play' in his phone. He always says yes, but I still always ask.
    I agree. I have nothing to hide from my DH but we don't share devices and I always ask before using it.

  9. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    He would have been out on his ear before had a chance to open his mouth in this house. Same would go for me if I was the one doing that.

    Totally unacceptable.
    Is yours a p@rn free house? (Genuine question, I'm wondering if people's views on p@rn is affecting their advice to the OP)

  10. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Is yours a p@rn free house? (Genuine question, I'm wondering if people's views on p@rn is affecting their advice to the OP)
    Yes.
    And I am sure it does.

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  12. #38
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    Hmmmm I wonder if people would be so supportive of the snoop if their partners snooped on their phone and 'stumbled' accross their bub hub accounts... And read what was written about them..??..?!.???

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  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ellewood View Post
    Yep, over sex chat - that is just plain wrong when you're in a committed relationship. If it wasn't wrong, he would be open and honest about it and she wouldn't mind him doing it! I can't believe what some people put up with. OP, you're more forgiving than me!
    I agree it's wrong, but it's not as bad as actually meeting up with someone. Depending on the root causes (pun intended) the relationship may be salvageable
    - snooping on phone 3/10 on the shady scale
    - sex chat on phone 7/10
    - meeting up with someone and spreading the seed 10/10

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  16. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Is yours a p@rn free house? (Genuine question, I'm wondering if people's views on p@rn is affecting their advice to the OP)
    Ours isn't a p@rn free home, we are quite open minded about s3x and for us a little harmless flirtation with others is even ok. But s3xually explicit chat with people outside our marriage? Unacceptable. And, in my view, symptomatic of potentially something else that could be going on.

    Sorry OP I'm declaring my bias. Not about p@rn but in relation to past experiences with someone I thought I could trust.

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