Not sure if this is the right section but just needed to get a few feelings out.
I'm currently 36 4 weeks pregnant with my first child. My mum passed away on the 20th of August completely unexpectedly and the whole family is rocked - our bubs was her first grandchild and I'm struggling to cope with thoughts she never got to meet him or even know his name.
I'm finding it really hard to be excited about the pregnancy and it physically hurts to go into the nursery and see all the things we'd done that she didn't get to see. I've just gone back to work today (start maternity leave Friday) and it was just do hard to act normal.
I seem to seesaw between feeling numb and overcome with emotion. I'm trying to look after my dad, I've had to take over power of attorney for my nan and don't feel like I've really begun to grieve for my mum. I just want her back so much it hurts.
I'm concerned I just won't have that same level of love and emotion for our son because of how I feel about mum. I just feel guilty for doing anything "normal" when she's not here any more.