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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by [Mod] Allymumtobe View Post
    My mum always said there's no shame in leaving a trolley full of groceries and carrying your child out like a crying sack of potatoes.


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    Barny barnacle - MMC Feb14 ������
    Except it's just not very practical...you still need to go back to the store at some point to get those groceries. Maybe I just hate shopping too much to even consider having to make a second trip back there

    OP I forgot to mention...if I have time I will let my kids do something that's enjoyable for them, a walk through a toy shop (with them understanding that we're just looking), or a play in the indoor play centre we do it....but if it's a quick shop I tell them it's a quick shop and we don't have time for it. I think a lot of tantrums when shopping stem from boredom so if you can break it up with something that interests them I find it helps. Of course they do all have to go through the 'I want it' tantrum stage!

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  3. #22
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    Allymumtobe is offline Winner 2012 - Most Optimistic Poster
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    Yes you do still have to go back. Point is, sometimes it's ok to to say "this clearly isn't happening today"


    Angus 4~6~13, loved - wanted - missed
    Barny barnacle - MMC Feb14 🎀

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    Thanks for the stories and tips so glad (well not glad really because so many of us go through this struggle) but nice to have others in the same situations, I really do try to not let it bother me but I have to fight the tears.

    I think DS is definitely going through the struggle of power. He is 2 years 10 months now.

    I really did try calm repeating but he is so worked up he doesn't hear anything. He becomes completely unresponsive to anything I say or do. I just need to wait the 20-30 minutes it takes before he calms down and says sorry.

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    Quote Originally Posted by [Mod] Allymumtobe View Post
    Yes you do still have to go back. Point is, sometimes it's ok to to say "this clearly isn't happening today"


    Angus 4~6~13, loved - wanted - missed
    Barny barnacle - MMC Feb14 ������
    And that's cool if you have the luxury of doing so Anyway, not trying to be deliberately argumentive or anything, but I just always found it to be a really impractical option to up and leave if I was in the middle of running errands. But it's definitely a valid option if it will work for someone else.

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    god yeah it happens to most of us I think.

    To be hoenst - dragging a screaming and crying child around the shops never really bothered me that much. people could stare and tut tut all they wanted ... DD still wasnt getting whatever she was screaming for

    I do find that certain techniques work better

    - try and allow enough time (I know not always possible) ... but if you allow 1 hr for a 30 minute shop, you have time to make it fun. Let them play with the tins of tomato, or help Mummy shop by putting the things in the trolley, see if you can spot 'xyz' etc.

    - have a play on the play toy thingo's after

    - if you are not buying a treat - say so before you go, and perhaps take some food (a small container of sultanas or cut up apple, rusks etc)

    - take a toy to keep them a little occupied 1/2 way through

    - distraction - if they start to get cranky, try to think of a distraction to take their mind off whatever you have just said no to.

    - when you are saying no, decide if its worth the fight. Only fight the battles you are prepared to see through ... giving up half way does NOT help, so decide when he first asks if its worth it.

    If all else fails - just ignore people and let him have his tantrum. They all need to learn to take no for an answer at some stage, and most kids will have several of these tantrums at various times. (god knows mine is 8 and occasionally still has them in public)

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    Quote Originally Posted by [Mod] Allymumtobe View Post
    My mum always said there's no shame in leaving a trolley full of groceries and carrying your child out like a crying sack of potatoes.


    Angus 4~6~13, loved - wanted - missed
    Barny barnacle - MMC Feb14 🎀
    I've done this!

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    My kids are older now, but even my 7 yo is a trial to still take to the supermarket. I remember though when he was about 3 maybe? and he ran off, tearing down the isle YELLING (my son to this day has one volume - LOUD ) and me chasing him and getting a greasy from an old lady.... so I firmly met her stare and gave her a greasy right back! she soon walked away. I find the most judgmental ones are a) childless people b)those with well behaved easy kids c) older peeps that would belt their kids and expect others to. The thing is, I have one angel and one demon, both brought up exactly the same. Clearly it's not my parenting, it's their own unique personalities?

    What has worked for me is positive and negative consequences (this obviously won't work under 2 or so). Before you get in there, tell them if they are well behaved they get 10 extra TV mins/to bake a cake with you/whatever their currency is. If they are naughty they lose 10 mins/there is no baking the cake/you take something off them they love. Then ask them to repeat what you have just said. The most important thing, is follow through if they are badly behaved.

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    My kids are older now, but even my 7 yo is a trial to still take to the supermarket. I remember though when he was about 3 maybe? and he ran off, tearing down the isle YELLING (my son to this day has one volume - LOUD ) and me chasing him and getting a greasy from an old lady.... so I firmly met her stare and gave her a greasy right back! she soon walked away. I find the most judgmental ones are a) childless people b)those with well behaved easy kids c) older peeps that would belt their kids and expect others to. The thing is, I have one angel and one demon, both brought up exactly the same. Clearly it's not my parenting, it's their own unique personalities?

    What has worked for me is positive and negative consequences (this obviously won't work under 2 or so). Before you get in there, tell them if they are well behaved they get 10 extra TV mins/to bake a cake with you/whatever their currency is. If they are naughty they lose 10 mins/there is no baking the cake/you take something off them they love. Then ask them to repeat what you have just said. The most important thing, is follow through if they are badly behaved.
    I love the greasy looks from older men especially - I've had quite a few of those. I can't help but think they either never had kids of their own or weren't involved in raising their own kids enough to know that tantrums happen, no matter how brilliant you are as a parent! I'm yet to meet a parent who has a child that's never had a tantrum in public, it happens. DS had one today at the shops and I had another Mum give me the most sympathetic look with a supportive smile, as I gritted my teeth and marched on out of there with DS screaming in my ear. Just to know that someone else understood my pain at that moment actually really helped!

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    I remember my DD's first tanty at the shops. She was 12mnths and was happily chewing a hole in the bag of cheese I had put in the trolley. I took it off her and broke her. She was screaming and crying so I stopped, gave her cuddles and said, I know you want it but it's not for you. I know you are sad." She still screamed for ages so I just continued shopping whilst talking and singing to her and soundly ignoring the existence of other shoppers. So yeah, you are certainly not alone. I am not a fan of shopping at the best of times, screaming kids just makes it worse.

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    Oh gosh, we've all been there! I have a very chatty two yr old DS. He's currently obsessed with licorice and will scream at the top of his lungs "licorice, where are you?!?" as soon as we enter the shops. He also asks loudly and repeatedly. "what's that girl/boy doing?" and he's not always right about the gender!
    He is cheap to buy off though, a $2.25 matchbox car keeps him happy and is a small price for me to pay!
    Failing that...online shopping is wonderful


 

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