I'm struggling with my roll as a step parent and connecting with and bonding with my 15yo SS. Maybe there are some others that have been through or going through similar feelings/struggles that can reassure me or give me some pointers/advice on how to work through this.
I have no children of my own. I've been in his life for just under 2 years. He is with us full time, only goes away to mum's some school holidays. He has seen a few other women in and out of his dad's life (including a previous step mum around for about 4-5 yrs when he was a bit younger).
He's not a bad kid and I don't ever get the "you're not my mum, you can't tell me what to do" stuff. He does make thoughtless and disrespectful comments at times but usually in an attempt to be funny or just plain teenage brain.
The thing is I used to work with teenagers and thought I'd be able to take to this easily, but I found more to like about those kids who used to swear and curse and threaten than I can see in my SS. His interests are computer games and watching TV/movies. I need to remind him a lot about cleaning up after himself or just doing things properly (normal teenage stuff) but I hate feeling like I'm nagging.
It just feels like we're living in the same house and I do stuff for him, he does help out a bit, so like I said not a bad kid but there's just no real connection. I'm struggling to get joy from this and not just feel like its a chore or a situation I have to deal with. I don't like feeling this way about my Husband's son or about my roll in the family.
I do wish I had more time with my husband for us, but he feels guilty if he leaves him with his grandparents while we go off. We try doing family things fairly regularly like movies, walks, zoo etc. and while we do get along alright I just don't feel a warm bond with him.
Maybe it's just the age he's at or maybe subconsciously he doesn't expect me to stay around like the last one. Maybe it's me, we do want our own child but what if the only parenting I get to do is for a teenage boy (I could list off all the joys of teenage boys but think I've complained enough). Maybe it will just take more time.
I would just like to feel better about this rather than feeling like I'm whinging about something or nothing all the time. I don't know.