+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 15 FirstFirst 1234513 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 143
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Mackay
    Posts
    6,275
    Thanks
    809
    Thanked
    2,399
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    I did find formula simple to use. That's just my experience though. The ABA and LCs aren't there to support or promote formula so I get why they step back if a person is switching- it's not their area to help with. I'm not sure what else they could do. Is it support or more acceptance you think ff mums need in that case? My MCHN and the LC insisted we use formula top ups and suggested we think about weaning on to formula due to my supply problems initially. Most GPs are all over formula, in my experience, and the majority of Australian babies are switched to formula in their first year, so I would have thought there was already adequate practical help and general acceptance? Obviously others have different experiences but I'm interested to hear- what do you think should change in regards to support for bottle feeding? Like, what would make it easier/better? What could be done to minimise the impact on mental health?
    Your last sentence caught my eye.

    With my first, I was a young (18) mum, zero support and no clue what I was doing. NOBODY told me some women are unable to/dont want to bf- for whatever reason. I have inverted nipples, nobody told me that would make bf'ing even more difficult. The midwives in hospital treated me like a massive inconvenience, were rough and told me to pretty much suck it up when both my baby and I were visibly distressed. Then they sent me home. Still absolutely no support not even a phone call. My first night home ended in my daughter not feeding at all and both of us bawling our eyes out until the next morning when my mum gave me a breast pump and bottles. I felt like a total failure. I switched to formula at 3 weeks and that's when I spiralled into severe pnd. Nobody told me I was doing the best for my baby in our circumstances. I was attacked by a couple of mums in a parents room for not bfing.... the whole experience just completely broke me. And a lot of it comes back to the total lack of understanding and support from the hospital.

    My second and third however...
    Dd2 I attempted bf'ing for the first day/night. But switched to formula when I got home. The midwives were brilliant. Offering so much support while in hospital and even when I told them I had switched to formula. My midwife asked how I felt about and when I said I actually felt relieved, she smiled and said I was doing the best for my baby and myself and as long as I was happy and bub was fed thats all that mattered. That small comment made the world of difference. All the guilt I felt from dd1 was lifted.

    Dd3 was amazing again- I decided to ff from birth. When I was about to give her her first feed my mifwife asked how I would be feeding her and when I said formula, she asked what type I had at home and went and supplied me with some and a bottle (in the rush to get to the hospital I completely forgot to take it!). There was no judgment, just support. Maybe the fact it was my third and I was very sure what I wanted made a difference, I don't know.

    My 4th I wanted to give bf'ing another go. My midwife was brilliant, sh is also a LC anf gave so much support and encouragement but never pressured. After 3 days bf'ing I wasnt coping with the pain, I was ripped to shreds and bleeding from bub trying to draw my nipples out. When I got to the point I felt physically ill even thinking about feeding her I knew I couldnt do it to myself. I was stressed and she was picking up on it. So I went to formula. I knew my midwife would be disappointed but I knew I had to do what was best for me. And told my midwife that. She made a comment "well you didnt exactly give it a good go", but that was it. Then she went on to comment how much more relaxed I was and how much kore content bub was and that I was obviously making the right choice for us. Even though I was comfortable with my decision, hearing that still made a difference. As she said, at the end of the day breast isnt always best for mum and bub. If it is taking such a huge negative impact on mums mental health, they need to be supported in their choice to change if that's what theu want, not criticized and feel pressured.

    And tbh I love ff. It works for our family dynamics. I dont find it difficult, I dont find it extra work. Its what I know and what I need to do for my family.

    I am all for encouraging bf'ing, but not at the expense of a mothers mental health. If a mother is obviously not coping, they shouldn't be made to feel like a failure or that she is doing her baby harm by using formula. At the end of the day it doesnt matter how a baby is fed, as long as baby is being fed.



    He + Me = dd1 (July 2007), dd2 (July 2010), dd3 (August 2012), dd4 (May 2014)
    Embrace the chaos

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to SheWarrior For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (03-09-2014)

  3. #22
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
    Winner 2008 - The most optimistic poster
    Winner 2014 - Most Helpful Moderator
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Perth WA
    Posts
    22,393
    Thanks
    5,359
    Thanked
    5,806
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a week
    Well I was definitely in the section that it wasn't physical, it was mental health reasons that I stopped. And it made me a MUCH better mum. I was to the point I was starting to Wally resent her because it hurt so much and she still wasn't getting anything so was still screaming because she was hungry. If I had persevered I have no doubt I could have successfully breastfed ... But at what cost?

    I did did struggle a bit after I gave up ... But I was lucky - it was very obviously the right decision. Blind Freddie could see that both my baby and I were much better of
    a
    nd I had an amazing middle who told me point blank that it was ok to ff. essentially just gave me permission - but it was so important to me at the time to be told that I was doing a great job, and not being able to bf didn't mean that I wasn't.

    It it took a bit of time, but i am happy and confident that I made the right decision at he time

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BH-KatiesMum For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (03-09-2014),RipperRita  (03-09-2014)

  5. #23
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,003
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    I think a short session in ante natal classes about different teat flows and steralizing would be incredibly useful. Even if you express you need this info. I found this very confusing.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (03-09-2014),mrsboyts  (03-09-2014)

  7. #24
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Mackay
    Posts
    6,275
    Thanks
    809
    Thanked
    2,399
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    I think at the end of the a day, a simple comment like "you are doing the best for YOU and YOUR baby whatever ever you choose and for whatever reason" is really all thats needed.

    (And of course info on preparation, teats, different bottles etc if need be).

    He + Me = dd1 (July 2007), dd2 (July 2010), dd3 (August 2012), dd4 (May 2014)
    Embrace the chaos

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to SheWarrior For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (03-09-2014)

  9. #25
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    7,878
    Thanks
    3,397
    Thanked
    5,160
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I agree - that stat is stupid and damaging. I mean really - there are millions of things that we could all physically do, but emotionally etc? And what actually falls into that stat?

    Is it that you are still considered to physically be able to do it if you are in constant and agonising pain? RIght there that is stupid to include people like that in it, it would be like including people in a running race who had a slipped disc, they might still be physically capable of making it 50 meters, but they would be in agony, hunched over and dragging themselves to get here.

    I reiterate - that stat is not only silly - but it is also wrong.

    I was was just coming in to question this stat too - how is "physically being unable to do it" defined?

    Its a fairly broad statement. Physically I couldn't because of vasospasm, no milk, lacerated nipples, unable to latch, no let down and I'm sure there are many more that others have but what does the 2% cover?

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to babyla For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (03-09-2014),goshawk  (17-11-2014)

  11. #26
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    10,012
    Thanks
    14,124
    Thanked
    7,612
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Your story sounds very similar to mine. Breastfeeding was causing severe pain for me - vasospasm caused by autoimmune diseases, that I ended up expressing full time. I found that while I was struggling through with breastfeeding in agonising pain, screaming crying and wishing my baby wouldn't wake up and totally not bonding -that ABA and my LC were happy, but as soon as it became clear that things weren't going to get better, and I ended up expressing full time and then my supply died - that was it. I was basically cut loose.
    Very disappointing!

    Quote Originally Posted by HopefulK View Post
    I think for me (and I did actually fall into the "2%" not that this should matter) I needed to get practical advice and help to do mixed feeding. I had so many physical and mental factors working against me but I was still very adamant I wanted to bf in any capacity I could. Mixed feeding is a very hard road though, especially when you're trying to build or keep what little supply you have. Feeding, pumping, preparing bottles, nursing, settling, was done around the clock. I needed advice from an expert who could help and support me in that , but really struggled to find anyone. It seemed to be an either-or attitude. For example, if I'm pumping between feeds, how will settle my newborn if she is crying and won't sleep? Do I top up with formula after each feed or do I just FF every few times? How do I manage to get out and go for a walk/have a nap/eat well every day when all my time is consumed with all of the above? And so on.

    Or maybe I just needed someone to tell me it's ok to let it go, just FF, and focus on my own mental and physical health?

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to beebs For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (03-09-2014),MsViking  (03-09-2014)

  13. #27
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,846
    Thanks
    6,200
    Thanked
    16,892
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    Its a fairly broad statement. Physically I couldn't because of vasospasm, no milk, lacerated nipples, unable to latch, no let down and I'm sure there are many more that others have but what does the 2% cover?
    My understanding (I'm happy to be corrected) is that the 2% is women who physically never produce a drop of milk for physical reasons. Any other 'excuse' is just that. IME the ABA and others would tell you your bleeding nips were from poor attachment, you had milk you just didn't do the right things, and vasospasm is a bump in the road but doesn't mean you can't bf.

    So basically nothing but a biological condition where you never produce milk (there is a name for it) is the only adequate excuse

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    snowqu33n  (03-09-2014)

  15. #28
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,846
    Thanks
    6,200
    Thanked
    16,892
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    I had to link this, and yes before people ask, it's satire with some truth mixed in. Just adding it for a laugh more than anything, but also laughing at it's often true.

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/new...-always,36823/

    BALTIMORE—A study published Tuesday by researchers at Johns Hopkins University has discovered a correlation between breastfeeding and unequivocally knowing what’s best for other people at all times. “The data suggests that the simple behavior of breastfeeding one’s infant dramatically improves a woman’s ability to identify with perfect precision what’s wrong with everyone else in every situation,” reads the study, which observed thousands of nursing mothers nationwide and documented their heightened wisdom of postnatal care, publicly acceptable behavior, proper food choices, pediatric development, and countless other issues. “We found that these new mothers not only developed but loudly vocalized a greatly expanded comprehension of right from wrong, appropriate from inappropriate, and healthy from severely detrimental. And the effects were immediate, with women gaining this remarkable knowledge at the very moment they began breastfeeding.” The study also indicated that nursing greatly boosts a mother’s immunity to others’ viewpoints.

  16. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    A-Squared  (03-09-2014),atomicmama  (03-09-2014),Atropos  (03-09-2014),beebs  (03-09-2014),MsViking  (03-09-2014),PomPoms  (03-09-2014),Purple Lily  (03-09-2014),snowqu33n  (03-09-2014)

  17. #29
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    2,408
    Thanks
    928
    Thanked
    468
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    In my experience I found that unless you breastfeed you are treated like a terrible mother by professionals. I think this is so wrong! What matters is that you are feeding your baby, how you need or choose to do that is irrelevant.

    When ds was born I had midwives continuing to shove him onto my boob while I sat there in agony. I was unable to get him to latch without assistance & therefore I needed help with every feed - I was made to feel like I was taking up their time etc - sometimes ds would be SCREAMING by the time they grudgingly responded to the buzzer. They didnt get an lc up to see me until the day I was meant to be going home & ds had just had a feed when she arrived so I went home with no idea what to do other than express & use shields once I was able to buy some.

    One night at the hospital when it all got too much (my nipples were bleeding & it was agony) they told me if I couldnt breastfeed him I had to express, but they said there was no pump available. I literally sat up for half the night in tears trying unsuccessfully to hand express & in the end had to ask for formula. The midwives made me sign something that said they werent responsible if my baby got sick or suffered ill effects because of the formula, which was not what I needed when I was already exhausted, stressed & emotional. Ds had a few bottles of formula that night & the midwives were pretty nasty about it every time so I cried every feed & felt like I was failing my newborn son. It took me over a month to accept that I wasnt failing him & that I was doing what was right at the time. Even now I still get upset about the way I was treated, im getting teary writing this, 8 & a half weeks on.

    In the end a midwife told me that I just had to make a choice between bf & ff cause I couldnt do both & that 'breastfeeding always hurts & most women just manage to deal with it' & that I wasnt doing the right thing by my baby if I continued to ff. So I put him back on my bleeding nipples & cried in agony every feed & wondered why this was happening to me.

    Since then no-one (gp, child health nurses etc( has been receptive to the idea of switching to formula.

    Just wanted to share my story cause I think its really sad that first time mums are treated like that when they are struggling. I hope it doesnt happen to anyone else.

    So yes I think pnd can be caused by the lack of support women recieve if they are struggling with bfing.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Last edited by heartstringz; 03-09-2014 at 11:41.

  18. #30
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    10,012
    Thanks
    14,124
    Thanked
    7,612
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    and vasospasm is a bump in the road but doesn't mean you can't bf.

    So basically nothing but a biological condition where you never produce milk (there is a name for it) is the only adequate excuse

    This is what I have noticed as well, a lot of pro breast feeders saying things like "I had vasospasm but pushed on through" with the if I can do it you can do it mentality. The thing is, all these conditions have different severity - so it could very well be a breastfeeder with a mild case, using it as a case in point for someone who had it severely.

    It would be like someone with walking pneumonia saying to someone in ICU on the verge of death - *I had pneumonia but just got better*. I mean really - all cases are different - not everyone is going to get over vasospasm, compresses, nifedapine etc- none of that stuff helped me and it was still agonising 3 months later.

    Gah!

    PS - great satire!!


 

Similar Threads

  1. Suddenly a formula feeding mum!
    By MilkingMaid in forum Pets
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 10-08-2014, 12:19
  2. Formula feeding and constipation
    By Wally90 in forum Mixed Breast & Bottle Feeding Support
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 31-12-2013, 18:24
  3. Who does formula feed with breast feeding?
    By chan87 in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-11-2013, 06:51

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
HuggleBib
The HuggleBib is not "just another" baby bib. Sure, your child may be a messy eater who gets more food ON them rather than IN them, so you dread cleaning after feeding times! Well the HuggleBib is THE best solution to help with all these daily tasks!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!