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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedCreamingSoda View Post
    I think this is a disgrace. We should stop putting our resources into finding ways for women to stop themselves from being raped and start putting a lot more of our time, effort and finances into finding ways to stop rapists from raping!
    I know what you mean. You are saying it is not a woman's responsibility to protect herself from rape. You're right. It's not. Any woman should be able to go out wearing whatever she wants at whatever time of night through whichever part of town she chooses. She should be free to do all this without fear of being sexually assaulted. A short skirt or walking down a dark street is not consent. Neither is accepting a drink. While I think the young men developing this product have good intentions it does not address the wider problem of men who sexually assault women and a culture that blames those women for it.

  2. #22
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    This was on fb yesterday. And whilst I agree with it, and also agree with the fact that this nail polish has a long way to go before it actually becomes a viable option, theoretically would I use it? Possibly.
    Would I want my daughter to use it? Definitely. (And that to me, is the key question and answer.)

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  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedCreamingSoda View Post
    I think this is a disgrace. We should stop putting our resources into finding ways for women to stop themselves from being raped and start putting a lot more of our time, effort and finances into finding ways to stop rapists from raping!
    Why can't we do both?

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    atomicmama  (30-08-2014),CakeyMumma  (30-08-2014),delirium  (30-08-2014),peanutmonkey  (30-08-2014),snowqu33n  (30-08-2014)

  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    I know what you mean. You are saying it is not a woman's responsibility to protect herself from rape. You're right. It's not. Any woman should be able to go out wearing whatever she wants at whatever time of night through whichever part of town she chooses. She should be free to do all this without fear of being sexually assaulted. A short skirt or walking down a dark street is not consent. Neither is accepting a drink. While I think the young men developing this product have good intentions it does not address the wider problem of men who sexually assault women and a culture that blames those women for it.
    I agree with you but in reality this is still not how we live. I know when my girls grow older I'll be careful about how they dress and be telling them to be walking in groups and along safe streets.

    I wish like hell I didn't have to but as someone who was nearly raped as a 22 year old I will do anything I can to stop that from happening to them (and I don't consider myself an over protective parent at all).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Why can't we do both?
    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I agree with you but in reality this is still not how we live. I know when my girls grow older I'll be careful about how they dress and be telling them to be walking in groups and along safe streets.

    I wish like hell I didn't have to but as someone who was nearly raped as a 22 year old I will do anything I can to stop that from happening to them (and I don't consider myself an over protective parent at all).
    THANK YOU!

    The world would be a much better place if we didn't have to take these measures, but we do! And, until rape is condemned by every single person, I'm thankful that people are giving us more options to lessen our risks.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I agree with you but in reality this is still not how we live. I know when my girls grow older I'll be careful about how they dress and be telling them to be walking in groups and along safe streets.

    I wish like hell I didn't have to but as someone who was nearly raped as a 22 year old I will do anything I can to stop that from happening to them (and I don't consider myself an over protective parent at all).
    You're right- it's not how we live. But it should be. Making products that place responsibility for rape prevention on women isn't steering towards that though. And telling young women how to dress and behave to prevent rape perpetuates rape culture. (Sorry if that sounds harsh) Saying "dress conservatively to avoid rape" equates to "she wore a short dress and was raped so...perhaps a longer dress might have prevented rape". I see what you mean but it isn't part of a solution that addresses the wider problem either. Rape is not caused by short skirts or walking alone at night- in fact this type of rape- opportunistic attacks by strangers- is actually very rare. Rape by a friend or family member is far more likely- overwhelmingly so. No amount of clothing changes will prevent that. This is a prevalent cultural problem. Many young men don't understand what rape actually is and many women living in patriarchy are just as uneducated. The Steubenville case in the US is the perfect case study for this. People blaming the victim for being intoxicated, even other girls- a while town ostracizing her for speaking out- a huge number of young men and women circulating images of her being assaulted and then the media openly sympathizing with her rapists for the damage the case would do to their careers.
    You must tell your children whatever you think best, of course. All I'm saying is it pays to think about the broader implications and that rape prevention is not going to come about through making women wear nail polish. A cultural change is needed and we are aware of it- so we are in a position, as parents, to get it started.

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  12. #27
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    [QUOTE=kw123;7913821]A disgrace? Slightly OTT.



    Considering the high rates of violence against women in out country and around the world I don't think it is OTT to feel very strongly about these things.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky27 View Post
    I think anything to help people from being attacked is not a disgrace at all. If there is something that could help me then I'm all for it.
    I don't believe that this will help. It is one more not so subtle message being widely promoted that if we just try harder to make women unrapable then this problem will go away. I am aware that this is not exactly what the creators of the nail polish have come out and said but that is the underlying message that this and a lot of other things send.
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    I think what's possibly being missed in this debate (and i haven't read everything so apologies if I've said something already pointed out) is that the nail polish was developed in response to a problem on American college campuses with rape of college students by college students. There have been a number of high profile cases on US campuses of drunk women being raped by other students, and victim blaming is extraordinarily high in those cases. I believe the guys behind this nail polish were largely focused on that.

    I agree victim blaming is appalling, telling women how they can and can't behave is appalling, restricting behaviour is appalling. But I'm going to be honest here when it comes to my girls I will be doing what I can do to protect them. But I'll also be raising my son to know that no means no and that sexual assault is wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Why can't we do both?
    Because I think currently we as a society loudly tell women and girls to stop getting raped and we very quietly tell boys and men not to rape. I don't think this approach is working. I think we need to radically change our approach and a HUGE shift in focus would be a good start IMO.
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