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  1. #1
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    Default My best friend just told me she has cancer. What can I do and say to support her?

    I'm in shock today. I spoke to my best friend on the phone earlier and she has told me she just found out she has cancer of the uterus.
    I was cranky with her before that since I have barely heard from her over the last few months - i've only seen her once since I found out I was pregnant 8 months ago. So of course now I feel like a great big cow.
    I don't think I was very supportive. I didn't make supportive sounds. I asked practical questions about prognosis, treatment options, how she was feeling. But reflecting on the conversation I feel like I should have got in the car and gone to see her. I'm pregnant, not physically incapable of driving.
    I don't know what to say to her. I'm about to have my first baby and she's just been told that the treatment they recommend is a full hysterectomy - as soon as possible. No babies for her. Decision made for her.
    She's my most precious friend and I don't know what to do or say. But I want to do and say everything I can to ease her pain and help her as best I can. But i don't really know where to start.
    If anyone can offer any suggestions, I would appreciate it.

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    Can you do your first instinct, go and see her? That's usually what's the right thing in the situation - whatever your gut is telling you.

    Maybe grab takeaway dinner, terrible but deliciously delicious desert and just go round there and be a listening ear?

    Otherwise I'm not sure. I'm very lucky to not have been in the situation before but I say do whatever you feel is right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shani2 View Post
    Can you do your first instinct, go and see her? That's usually what's the right thing in the situation - whatever your gut is telling you.

    Maybe grab takeaway dinner, terrible but deliciously delicious desert and just go round there and be a listening ear?

    Otherwise I'm not sure. I'm very lucky to not have been in the situation before but I say do whatever you feel is right.
    This. I hope you can find a way to get over there

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    TheGooch  (29-08-2014)

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    Maybe be honest that your not sure what to say or do so she needs to tell you. Seriously life is so unkind sometimes x

    Sent from my SM-G900I using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    TheGooch  (29-08-2014)

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    Go and see her. Let her talk, scream, cry, laugh, what ever she needs to do. Just be there to support her.

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    I agree with everyone, go & see her... Maybe get done trashy movie to watch aswell, just incase she doesn't feel like talking XX

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    I would call her now and again. Never isolate her. Share her concerns and patiently listen to what she has to to say. Reassure her that no matter what happens she is loved and cherished as she is your dearest friend. But remember to be kind to yourself and your baby. Try not to be too upset. Once the shock wears out you will be able to think better. All the very best.

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    Thank you so much ladies. You're all absolutely right.
    She's off to the city today for a medical appointment. I'm going to call her tonight to see how it went .
    Depending on her plans I'll visit her tomorrow.
    I've sent flowers with a card just saying I love her and am thinking of her.
    The messages of not isolating her and making time to see her and stay in touch are so important . That's how I'm going to approach things. But I'm also going to acknowledge with her, face to face, that I don't know what to do/say but I'm more than happy to take direction and also just listen.
    It's just so bloody horrible and unfair for her. She's only 38.

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    Glad to know what you are going to do. Wish you all the very best

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