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  1. #11
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    OP you poor thing, that must be such a stressful situation. I think it's really rude for people to keep asking you if you are pregnant. If it were me, I would be hiding away from the world as much as possible to avoid them all....

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    Sally1981  (02-09-2014)

  3. #12
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    I was just whinging about this the other day! I am currently 10 weeks and although this pregnancy is progressing with no problems, it's taken us 3 years to get here and I've miscarried in the past so want to wait at least 12 weeks before it becomes public knowledge. I've told immediate family and a couple of close friends who I would lean on for support if we did miscarry but I don't want all my work colleagues to know.

    While no one has asked me directly, quite a few people have asked the girl I share an office with. I think it's so rude! If I haven't told you then I don't want you to know yet, so you shouldn't ask! I hate that my friend is being forced to lie for me. I'm having twins and am showing more than I expected for 10 weeks so she has just been telling people I eat a lot haha.

    Sorry to hear of your threatened miscarriage op - that just makes it so much worse. I hope everything works out for you!

    Sent from my HTC_PN071 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Sally1981  (02-09-2014)

  5. #13
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    People love to be "in the know". These are the same people who would swipe your news on Facebook when you give birth!

    The first time I was pregnant, I shouted it to the world so when I miscarried I had to tell everyone. I chose to post about the experience on Facebook (a version of the post in my sig) but the worst part was at work. Even though my boss told everyone, she also told them not to mention it to me so I had months of people avoiding me which sucked! When I was pregnant with DS we told NO ONE until about 17 weeks!

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  7. #14
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    Can we officially change the term 'First Trimester' to 'Threatened miscarriage limbo hell'? Perfectly put! I felt the same way - no advice but some big hugs and sticky baby vibes xoxox

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  9. #15
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    I showed really early with my second (m/c) and third pregnancies (currently 18 weeks) and I just said to anyone who was rude enough to comment or ask that I had nothing that I was announcing at that point.

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    Sally1981  (02-09-2014)

  11. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by wannaBamumma View Post
    Is it such a bad idea to tell people you are pregnant? If something happens then you have the support of your family and friends without having to start with 'I was pregnant but...'
    I work in a field where I see women losing babies every day from early pregnancy to full term. Why not celebrate your pregnancy now and lean on your support if you need them.
    Saves the awkward moments socialising
    That's just what I think anyways! (I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant too)
    In excitement I told a bunch of people when I first fell pregnant, very early on. Unfortunately it ended in a miscarriage. I see what you are saying, but there is a difference between a few close friends and family knowing, then acquaintances, work mates and a larger group of friends. I absolutely regretted my decision telling so many people as I then constantly had people asking me how far along I was, saying 'look at your bump' etc etc and I was constantly having to tell people I was actually no longer pregnant. The constant reminder and bringing it up was just awful. It was a hard time made harder. I wish I'd only kept it as telling a few select people and would never do that again.

    OP - it astounds me that people are so nosey that they try and catch people out to find out of they are pregnant. So frustrating. Don't feel pushed into telling people because they have suspicions. I used to say I was on a health kick or I would get a drink and let it last all night as a PP mentioned). If they keep at you just turn it round and make them feel bad by saying something like 'that's a really sensitive subject that I'd really prefer not to discuss with you'.

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    Sally1981  (02-09-2014)

  13. #17
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    Wannabamumma - you sound like an optimist. I wish I could be more like you, but I'm a pessimist and I cope better when I don't expect anything good to happen. I just don't feel good about any of this right now, and I don't feel like I have good news to share. I probably shouldn't say this but on the day I started bleeding bright red blood I was actually willing if to get heavier just so this would be over (I'm sure I'll regret that if this baby is actually born). Then when it stopped I was scared to hope, scared to go to the toilet, to lift up DS etc. now bleeding again and I'm just so tired. Thanks for the advice ladies, I've tried the antibiotic thing but it didn't work, I don't drive so I think I might whisper to someone that I need a tampon and see if that helps. It's really good to have so many people here who understand.

  14. #18
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    I hate when people try to guess a pregnancy. It's so rude. If I'm not telling, its either because I'm not pregnant, or don't want to tell yet!surely people can learn to respect that.I had a mc previously and had only told immediate family about the pregnancy - I was so glad no one else knew. It was bad enough having to tell them & deal with their reactions, I would have found it really difficult if every tom **** & harryknew that I was pregnt. With the following pregnancy , when I was still trying to 'hide' it, an immediate family member said in front of a large group of family/ friends, 'omg youre pregnant, aren't you?! You're so totally pregnant!' It was so awkward for me, and I justsid no & gave her a snippy answer. She KNEW that I had recently had a miscarriage, it was such a horrible & rude thing to ask.I wish I.had the guts to say 'no, my baby died, remember?' To make her feel bad. So I totally get you not wanting to tell people!

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  16. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by wannaBamumma View Post
    Is it such a bad idea to tell people you are pregnant? If something happens then you have the support of your family and friends without having to start with 'I was pregnant but...'
    I work in a field where I see women losing babies every day from early pregnancy to full term. Why not celebrate your pregnancy now and lean on your support if you need them.
    Saves the awkward moments socialising
    That's just what I think anyways! (I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant too)
    I understand your point. For me I was happy for the support of our close friends after a loss, but never felt the need to share what was happening with nosey acquaintances. I think how much you are happy to disclose during a rough period has everything to do with your relationship with that person, but that doesn't seem to stop nosey people asking about your business regardless.

  17. #20
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    As a PP said, to explain the no alcohol thing, I used to tell people I was trying to lose weight because I'd packed on a few kilos (true!) and started lecturing them on why you shouldn't drink alcohol when you're trying to lose weight (because the body recognises the alcohol as something it can't store so it stores the calories, puts fat burning to the side and burns off the alcohol instead!). After I was done lecturing them and telling them I was fat, they didn't think I was pregnant!


 

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