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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Party of Three View Post
    No, never. I think it's different in a classroom...they have 20 kids to control, I don't. I don't really like the concept of reward charts...if I get myself dressed and ready and out the door for work on time I get rewarded for not losing my job for tardiness. I don't get a little present at the end of the week for doing what I'm supposed to do. I always worried that with having more than one child that we would encourage the ones doing the right thing to start doing the wrong thing so they could also be rewarded for behaviours they know how to do anyway.
    I do tell my kids when I'm happy with the way they behaved...but there's no sticker charts, pocket money, or bribes in this house. They're just not parenting styles I wanted to adopt, and I don't know anyone that has used sticker charts long term with great success (except teachers in classrooms).
    Funny enough, when I managed a sales team, even though they got commission, a reward (eg. Bottle if wine, pamper package etc) was always a great motivator for about 80% of the team members. Some people respond better to extrinsic motivation.

    I agree that there should be a caution when one child is being rewarded for something the other does anyhow. My parents brought in an incentive to get my brother to stop wetting the bed that he'd get 5c for every dry night. Being the geek that I am, having had a dry bed since 2, I calculated how many nights that was x 5c and told my parents they owed me around $90.

  2. #12
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    We use a tick cross system. Something I've copped flack for before. We give ticks for good behaviour, that they do without prompting and a cross for naughty or silly behaviour.
    We have a ladder that has five rewards that I've picked. They are hidden. For every ten ticks they get a prize. However ten crosses removes a prize from the ladder. If they make it through the month with no prizes removed they get the jackpot. Jackpot is a big reward, something extra special. They love getting jackpot. Sometimes it's choose somewhere to go out and eat or free movie pass or something like a new dress.

    Rewards get replaced if they get all five. It's a very complex system at first but the understand. We focus more on them doing the right thing without us saying but we also randomly give points if we say "brush your teeth" and they do it without an argument.


    "And I gave that guy directions. Even though I didn't know the way. Because that's just the kind of guy I am this week. "

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    Elijahs Mum  (23-08-2014)

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    Funny enough, when I managed a sales team, even though they got commission, a reward (eg. Bottle if wine, pamper package etc) was always a great motivator for about 80% of the team members. Some people respond better to extrinsic motivation.

    I agree that there should be a caution when one child is being rewarded for something the other does anyhow. My parents brought in an incentive to get my brother to stop wetting the bed that he'd get 5c for every dry night. Being the geek that I am, having had a dry bed since 2, I calculated how many nights that was x 5c and told my parents they owed me around $90.
    My kids get praise/rewards for good behaviour, but it's not expected from them and it's not a regular thing. Actually rewards aren't regular, praises always are. I always, always, always praise my kids for good behaviour. I think it's really important that they know I've noticed these things, especially if it's been a bad day behaviour wise overall.Rewards happen naturally eg. One child races around and gets ready for school quickly and have an hour to play before school....the other two muck around and waste time and miss out on play. Natural reward/consequence. They know we leave for school at a certain time regardless...once I had one child walk to school with her shoes in her hands, it only happened once. I also think that part of growing up is making mistakes/misbehaving etc. and I don't think I need to add to a bad day by telling them they don't get a sticker today. We take the time to sit down (either at the end of that day, the next day, or at the end of a bad week if need be) and talk about their behaviour, why it wasn't okay and ask them why they behaved that way and how they think they could improve their behaviour (this is the approach for my two school aged kids...my nearly 5 year old I simplify it much more).
    I also think kids learn lots from natural consequences...eg. My middle child really wanted to grow her hair after having it in a short bob (her choice) for a few years. I told her she could, but she needs to be prepared to sit down and get her hair done each day, which also meant she needed to allow extra time for that in the morning. It took three more haircuts before she disciplined herself enough in the morning to grow her hair. It's now past her shoulders and every morning she will get everything ready for me to do her hair and ask me to come and do it. The first two times she had her haircut she told me she didn't like having to spend time in the morning getting her hair done so was happy for it to be cut. The third time she told me she really wanted to grow it and it was after that third time that she made the time. I could have adopted a sticker chart for something like this but it probably would have failed for a while as she just wasn't motivated enough, and then my oldest daughter, who does her own hair every morning without any issue, would probably end up peeved that she wasn't getting special praise for doing it...instead, she didn't care because doing her hair every morning meant she got to have it whatever length/style she wanted.
    Last edited by Full House; 23-08-2014 at 12:18.

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    Elijahs Mum  (23-08-2014)

  6. #14
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    I agree with and practice everything you have also mentioned Party of Three, and it sounds like Elija's mum already has a lot of positive reinforcement happening with her son as well. The sticker chart are really just a little extra to help keep DD mindful of things that she tends to get lax on or if there is a very specific negative behaviour that I want to replace with a positive behaviour.

    I have 5.5 years between my two, so I'm yet to start a sticker chart with DS (only 14 months). I don't even know if it will be as effective on him, he already has such a different personality to her!

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    Elijahs Mum  (23-08-2014)

  8. #15
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    I tried it with ds a few times. He refused saying it was 'stupid'. Though he's mostly happy to do what I ask.

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    Elijahs Mum  (23-08-2014)


 

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