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  1. #1
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    Default 19 and no future, whats next?

    Hi all,

    I have recently been told that I will never have children, IVF is not an option etc, Not going to happen.
    It has never been in my 2 year plan to have kids but It has always been my life plan. Now that that is gone, I am finding it really hard to see what there is to work towards?

    I always thought it was go to uni to get a good job. Tick. Get a good job to save for a house of your family, but now what!? I am just feeling really lost in what my purpose is now.

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    What about adoption or surrogacy, or even fostering children? Sending many hugs x must be so hard to find this out when you are still so young

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi, I don't know what your health issues might be, but doctors can be wrong. I agree perhaps adoption or fostering? I would perhaps travel and maybe volunteer for some childrens charity and see if you can put your energy into something like that. You are so young you can certainly do many things with your future. hugs, im sure the news has been hard to face. Marie.

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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I agree with Summastarlet there is always adoption or surrogacy or even fostering, have you spoken to anyone about these options?

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    There is other options to have a family so don't discount those options. A lot of ppl go through this and maybe you need to seek some help to help you through this and help you decide what's the best path for you. At 19 your life isn't over hun it's just begun don't let these obstacles stop you.

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    totally agree.

    Its not all over - you certainly DO have a future.


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    There are some other options for you, like surrogacy, adoption, egg donors etc. You have your whole life ahead of you. You can still have a family and home, it may not happen the way you had envisioned but you do have a future.

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    Default Thanks all

    Thanks for you feedback everyone, its much appreciated.

    I did an AMH test, and the results came back really low, on top of that I have endo. I asked initially about surrogacy and IVF in the future, and IVF is not an option due to internal scarring from an inccident many years ago, so I cant carry a child. When I asked about surrogacy, the Dr said because of the low levels or something it wouldn't be possible.

    I don't really understand it much at all. If anyone has feedback on understanding that?

    Adoption is always there but some countries take 7 years after the child in question is born and the criteria list is so strict. I guess legislation is changing though right?

    A xx
    Last edited by Youngandhopeless; 22-08-2014 at 08:51. Reason: spelling :P

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    What was your AMH? I would be getting a second opinion as a first step. What city are you in? The ladies here can refer you to the best in the business in each city.

    You might have a chance if you went now with low AMH. I'm not suggesting transferring them back, I'm talking about freezing eggs or embryos in the hope of finding a surrogate when you do have children. Obviously a risky expensive plan but you would have a chance then.

    Secondly I would start saving HARD. Everyone can get a baby, it's just a matter of if you can afford it. You could hire a surrogate and use donor eggs overseas. Would probably cost up to $200,000 (total guess). So very very expensive. But if you start saving for it now it could be possible. So yes go to uni and get a good job, it's your best chance at getting a baby.

    I'm sorry you got such horrible news do early in life. I found out at 30 my AMH was low, my sister was 35 and had no eggs left, I found out I would probably be in the same boat. So I went it alike and did an IVF cycle with donor sperm, I'm now mum to two beautiful girls. My sister got a son using our other sister as an egg donor and I'm now donating my eggs to her to get a second child. Life doesn't always work out how you envisioned but I could not be any happier if I tried.

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    My friend just started fostering. Theyre first bub was a newborn bub. 8 months in theyve been told bub now stays until shes 18.
    Win win situation.
    I agree with other posters. Study, travel, work hard. In a way the world is your oyster. Your babies when they come into your life will be very very well planned and prepared for.
    Good luck for the future xx

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