I know this happened 5 years ago, but the night before our wedding my inlaws and SIL all got together and decided to lash out and say some extremely hurtful things about me to DH. SIL told DH she thinks I am fat and useless and the biggest mistake of his life, and that he must call off the wedding and that they all laugh about me. MIL then called him telling him that he will always belong to her, not some other woman. FIL even had a crack saying DH has never been the same since being with me and they want me gone... this all eventuated after DH and I decided to move out of the house we rented off them and buy our own. They tried everything to stop us from moving out - including threatening to cut DH from the will.
They wanted us to remain living under that roof, and constantly ordered DH to get a per-nuptual agreement done as "No woman from the outside will be having any of their money" They would drop in unannounced, tell the neighbors to call the police on us if we ever had any people over, so that resulted in us having the police knock on the door when we had friends over for dinner from false noise complaints. I know they told the neighbors to do it because FIL told me so when he once arrived unannounced and decided to have a massive bag out session about DH. He chuckled as he blurted out that he has the neighbors worded up to call the police if we ever have any friends over. Its all just about control.
So much other crap has happened ... its been ongoing, but the reason why i am peeved off now is lately they just keep at us about forgiving SIL for the horrible things she said about me the night before the wedding, and that need to 'get over it and let the siblings be close again" Tonight FIL apparently even told DH that he will cut us out of their will if we don't make up with SIL.
When DH came home and told me that i completely blew up. They can stick their will up their bums! This isn't about being stubborn, and not forgiving. This is about me not wanting to be around someone who thinks so poorly about me. Its bad enough being around the inlaws (very rarely) but i caved with them after standing my ground with them and MIL finally cracked and called me and apologised for her behavior. She tried to tell me back then that her apology was also on behalf of SIL, but i told her straight that SIL needs to contact me herself and give me a genuine apology so i know she didn't really mean it. Otherwise I am left with the idea thats how she really feels about me.
Of course that was ignored and they have constantly tried tactics to getting us to just put it all behind us. Normally i do, but this wasn't just people being angry with each other, SIL said some really horrible things that have left me realising thats how she really feels. It infuriates them that DH stands by me too. He has caved a couple times and had a litle involvement with her, I have always said as long as I am not expected to have anything to do with her he can do what he likes. But now SIL is not happy with that and she has decided she wants to be in DS's life. Well im afraid someone who thinks so poorly of me doesn't deserve to be in DS life. The way I see it, if she had her way DH and I wouldn't even be married and DS wouldn't even exist.
I used to be good friends with SIL too.... back before she got into the drugs. I used to do her hair for her for free all the time, chat to her about boys... it all changed quite abruptly.... more so when DH and i got more serious i guess. I guess once it was known I wasn't just another "honeymoon season" girlfriend, and instead i was hanging around then the jealousy set in.
I am just so over them just treating me like dirt, like my feelings don't matter and i don't even deserve an apology and to be told SIL didn't mean what she said. I can't help but go with the idea that she must mean it and think so horribly of me if she can't even reach out and make things right again.
I want nothing more to do with the inlaws now. Its just constant issues with them. Not only do they expect us to just forgive and forget with SIL, but they demand US to go to HER. They claim she 'cries to them because she isn't in DS's life' and they hate seeing her upset because she is their little girl (she's 28) Im afraid she made the choice when she lashed out and said what she did. It really hurt me and F'd my head up the night before our wedding. I was distraught and didn't want to marry DH anymore over it but he begged me all night to not let them get between us. Im glad I didn't now, but its just ongoing.
Sorry i just needed to vent. DS loves having grandparents, and I have recently fallen out with my mum too si DS will be left with no grandparents if i follow through with having nothing to do with the inlaws now. I hate the fact DH and i both come from such toxic dysfunctional families. Its really infuriating.