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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    I don't think it's unreasonable especially given you have a 10w old baby maybe try asking him (I saw this in another thread and thought it was a good idea) if he would rather do x or y ie would he rather clean up dinner or bath the kids. Vacuum or Mop?

    Good luck xo
    I do this. I say to DF toilet or vacuum,. Etc. It's so much easier to do than ask for help or tell him it needs doing. He chooses one, I do the other. Also he rarely notices when these things need to be done. His standards of 'clean' are much lower than mine so would happily leave the sheets unwashed for months and the shower would never get cleaned.

    Before I became a SAHM we were 50/50. Now I do the most of it by choice during the day a- cause I'm here and feel silly ignoring what needs to be done so I may as well make myself useful when I can and b- cause i like to spend time together with the fam over the weekends so having more time to do this without cleaning is a bonus

    DF plays his part in other ways. He spends time with the kids and gives me some space when he gets home. I do dinner for the fam while he feeds the baby hers and then gives the kids a bath and so on.

    We were very clear about what to expect when dd came along and that my job now is raising children. Any domestic chores that get done on top of that is a bonus.

  2. #12
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    My hubby works away for 3-4 weeks at a time, so it all falls on me.

    When he is home he helps with the kids and dinner...housework not so much (unless I ask a lot), but he does all the outdoor stuff.

  3. #13
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    DH does help with some things. We take it in turns to cook, and whoever didn't cook cleans up. He takes the recycling out (although I always need to remind him). He does his own washing and ironing. He's not big on cleaning around the house, that was previously always left to me, but I cracked it so now he pays for a cleaner to come once a fortnight.

    There was a time when he was out of work and I was working full time and I still had to do it all, and we had many "discussions" about how unfair that was. I think he's sort of getting better over time, but as someone else said about their DH, mine doesn't really notice when things need to be cleaned. He seems to be able to ignore mess/grime.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by [Mod] Degrassi View Post
    No. He should be helping, even just in small ways, when he gets home and on weekends.

    I'm the full time worker in my household and I still do plenty of housework! DH and I both just do what needs to be done.

    And I would NEVER come home at the end of the day and whine at my DH if he hadn't done much around the house. Caring for DS is the priority. Housework can wait.
    I'm in the same boat and completely agree. I do most of the kitchen-related chores during the week including making sure there is enough food for everyone to eat through the week and also do the bulk of the grocery shopping, plus I do housework on weekends.

  5. #15
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    Men are men they dont understand what a woman has to go through it sucks that you partner isnt helping you look after the kids which is the work of a sahm and what we are ment to do housework 8s an added bonus which came from the working parent, my husband does do housework on occasion but as im quite ocd I do belive he does it wrong I give him credit for trying though, so ive just recently put him on bedtime duty for my daughters bedtime as I will be taking him to work every morning so dd and I will be getting up early from now on I have also got bubs due in december so ive told him outright im no push over you helped make them you help look after them just cause they work doesnt me they get to opt out of housework and looking after there offspring

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  6. #16
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    No doesn't help with much really.

    We have a 2yo and a 5yo.

    The only things he does is on his days off (2 nights a week) he cooks us dinner. He will occasionally cook us breakfast on his weekends too.

    He also cleaned the oven and cleaned the kitchen blinds before a house inspection we had last month.

    He has never used our washing machine in the 4yrs we have had it, doesn't do dishes, doesn't take rubbish out, doesn't vacuum or mop etc

    I remember vacuuming and cleaning the day after I came home from hospital after having my youngest daughter. Not because I wanted to but because the house was so gross after not being vacuumed for 4 days (we had long hair cats and a 2.5yo boy at home so it was pretty bad lol)

  7. #17
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    Yes, we're equal partners in the relationship

  8. #18
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    I do the lions share of the house work. I am ocd and have it done a certain way. He comes and talks to me while I am cleaning.

    He also does little things to help like making the kids beds and taking all dishes to the kitchen. When I am really sick he will do a kitchen tidy and put the dishwasher on and handwash pots.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by btmac View Post
    DH is away for 2-3 months at a time, obviously I do everything then. Not so obvious is that I continue to do it all, work 20 hours a week, look after DS2 when he is home on leave. He does usually feed the dog if I repeatedly remind him to when he's home.

    I cannot remember who said this on here so can't give credit - but essentially she was p!ssed that women tip toe around and make excuses for men not cleaning or shouldering parenting. We say men are men, they don't notice, we should speak to them in special ways etc... Rubbish! They're adults who more often than not hold down full time jobs and maintain relationships outside the home. Can you imagine a plumber leaving filth all over the floor, not cleaning up sewage that came out of a blocked toilet and the customer looking and saying 'oh well he's a man, he just doesn't notice' - yeah no.

    I'm also pretty sure my DH's employer doesn't pay him a ridiculous amount of money to lead him around by the nose repeatedly reminding him of his duties and giving him options to choose from for the day.

    Sorry turned in to a bit of a vent of my own. But this sort of behaviour from men is starting to really annoy me and I'm getting sick of hearing everyone (including the men) excuse them.
    Well said.
    I agree and am also very sick of it.
    My dh does nothing. Unless I loose it at him then he will do one thing maybe 2.
    He never spends time with the boys unless I don't give him a choice and walk out.
    He works as much as I do out side of the house and kids.
    But I'm the one left to do all the housework, specialist appointments, nights with sick kids.
    Sorry venting.
    OP your not alone! Hugs.

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  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Sookie Stackedhouse For This Useful Post:

    btmacxxx  (24-08-2014)

  11. #20
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    I am a SAHM but DF still does half of the parenting, cleaning and everything else. I am a stay at home mother, not house slave.
    I do not believe this mentality that men don't notice things need doing etc. They don't do them because they don't have to.
    I do most of the cooking, not because I have to or because it is expected of me. I do it because I love to cook.

  12. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Lincolns mummy For This Useful Post:

    btmacxxx  (24-08-2014),LaDiDah  (24-08-2014),Renn  (24-08-2014)


 

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