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  1. #1
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    Default Teaching my dd to Self settle

    Hi, unfortunately I now need to teach my dd 7weeks to self settle due to my own health reasons. So can you please share with me your experience of how long it took at a similar age and how long long it look for your bub to fall asleep the first time you did it.. Unfortunately she won't take a dummy so can't use that to help!! Plus I also have a 2 to do we live in a noisy house with the bedrooms off the kitchen & playroom.

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    I used the same method for both of my girls.

    Put them down at the first sign of being tired, still awake.
    If they grizzle, gently pat their tummy and 'shh shh'.
    If they cry, immediately pick up and cuddle. Put back down once settled.
    Repeat as necessary.

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  4. #3
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    Playing White noise works wonders at drowning out noises from the rest of the house. Also helps them self settle between sleep cycles . You can get machines from baby shops but we just use a free app on the iPad or an old iPhone. My little one is 10 weeks and he now sleeps like an angel with this and his swaddle as his sleep cues.

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    You need to know the difference between a 'protest' cry and an 'I'm hungry I'm wet I'm overtired etc ' type cry.

    As the pp stated, always put bub asleep at the first signs of tiredness but still awake.

    Have a good routine of closing blinds, wrapping up bub, kissing and saying good night helps.

    Once in bed, It's ok to sook but not to scream their heads off, that's when you definitely need to pick them up.

    Patting and shhhing always work well for us when really upset.

    My ds3 got it at 7 weeks, but it's a work in progress. After being sick for 2 weeks he's completely lost the hang of it so we are back to starting again.

    And don't forget self settling doesn't necessarily mean they'll sleep thru the night. Gees if only it was that easy. Good luck.

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    Kkm  (19-08-2014)

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    7 weeks is very young but it sounds like you have a lot of things going on and feel that teaching to ss is your best option. The one main thing I will say is to put a lot of thought and effort into ensuring that all of bubs other needs are met before you ask them to ss. I know that sounds obvious but it is very important that bub has a full tummy and is nice and warm etc. so that if bub is having trouble going to sleep you are not pushing them to ss when they have something else bothering them and stopping them from being able to sleep. The most common thing I have seen is bub having a lot of difficulty self settling because they are cold and of course it is warmer in mums arms. So mum thinks that bub needs to be cuddled to go to sleep but really bub is trying to say I just need a bed that is as warm as your arms!
    You might find it tricky to get advice on this on the hub. Lots of people here feel that any sleep training (especially under 6 months) is a very negative thing. Have you considered SOS? Do you know you that there is a SOS forum? Google it if you like. You might get more specific and individualised advice over there.
    Oh I almost forgot to answer your actual question!..... My bub was self settling at about 4 months. It took him 6 min to settle himself.
    Good luck. X

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    Read save our sleep I didn't agree with everything in it but there are some good tips. Like everyone says put bub in bed when still awake, walk out once & let them cry for a few mins, come back in if they don't stop by that time, and then pat and shush without leaving the room until bub goes to sleep. I never liked how long she said to leave them alone for - for me it was 8 mins max until bub was 10+ months, I think - I couldn't handle any longer it felt cruel. I have never ever been good at rocking - no patience or arm strength or the special touch or something - so bub had to learn to go to sleep by himself. Some nights I would just lay on the floor next to the cot feeling helpless and he would stare down at me angrily and shriek lol. But anyhew I would always stay in the room just to comfort him with my prescience (& when a little older it worked better if I read on my phone & didn't interact with him or pat him) if he was unhappy and wouldn't sleep. It worked for me and no one can believe how easy it is to get him to go to sleep - the floor-laying thing was on very rare occasions . The most important thing I think is to develop a routine around the times they like to sleep. He has always since birth slept best from 6pm to 5:30am for example and napped at 7:30 or 8am and around lunchtime, + afternoon sleep when younger. For me, trying to create my routine and force him to sleep at other times just wasn't worth it, and not necessary any way as all those times fit in perfectly for when I went back to work. So perhaps get an idea of when your bub prefers to sleep first so you're not forcing sleep when it's not wanted.

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    Please do not leave a 7 week old alone to cry. You can soothe them, pat them, shush them (as Redlips&pearls outlines) but please do not leave them. They are still so young.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    I used the same method for both of my girls.

    Put them down at the first sign of being tired, still awake.
    If they grizzle, gently pat their tummy and 'shh shh'.
    If they cry, immediately pick up and cuddle. Put back down once settled.
    Repeat as necessary.
    We followed exactly this too

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  16. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Please do not leave a 7 week old alone to cry. You can soothe them, pat them, shush them (as Redlips&pearls outlines) but please do not leave them. They are still so young.
    Agreed.
    For me, teaching a baby to self settle, especially at 7 weeks, is all about showing them that it's okay to drift off to sleep and that you will be there when they need or want you. I don't believe that allowing them to cry for any period of time is doing that.

    I find the Save Our Sleep routine helpful, as well as some other advice in there but I won't recommend the settling advice as I learnt on here not that long ago that the way people interpret it is wildly different.

    The most important thing for getting a baby to go off to sleep is making sure all of their other needs are met;
    Are they hungry?
    Are they warm/cool enough?
    Are they wet/dirty?
    Do they have wind?

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  18. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Please do not leave a 7 week old alone to cry. You can soothe them, pat them, shush them (as Redlips&pearls outlines) but please do not leave them. They are still so young.
    Good point. I'm pretty sure my bub was not this young when I started using any sort of technique & I wasn't thinking about the age. If you can't hold ur baby as much for medical reasons maybe buy a swing to help soothe for longer? & have bassinet next to the bed for babys comfort, sleep in the same room, pat to soothe instead etc, & maybe a baby carrier depending on what your condition is. I did leave the room to let him grizzle a bit but never let him get upset (unless I was sitting next to him bc lifting him out of the cot or patting often made him protest & get more upset although that happened more as time went on as opposed to when he was really young) just being there was what really comforted him.

    Btw I hope I am being useful I am rambling on a bit, it's hard advice to give as really it comes down to what you are like as a parent and bubs personality so you kind of have to feel your own way in this.

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