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  1. #101
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    Hi all,


    Checking in again. Want to thank you all for such a warm welcome despite me not constantly posting on the board.


    Can’t believe how many twins are in this group - and how many graduates we have. For those of us who are still hanging in there, I hope our turn comes soon.


    @Nezz79 - Out of my 4 transfers, only 1 has been a single. Still haven’t managed to graduate. Hope you are not going too crazy in that horrible 2WW and this is your lucky one.


    @Megsarama26 - each time I come here I look for updates to see how your little ones are going. You’re actually a huge inspiration to me. You are going through something so tough but doing such an awesome job at it. I really hope all goes well for you.


    @katiana… twins too. congratulations. You must be over the moon. Sad to hear about the original triples then going to twins… I can only imagine how your FS must have felt. I keep having dreams (or are they nightmares, LOL) that we put 2 embryo’s back and DTD as well and end up with 3. I think it would make mu husband have a heart attack. When do you think you will tell your family about there being more than one ?


    @frogspossum - hope your starting to feel on the mend from head colds & asthma. Its hard when you feel so miserable from that and you can’t take much to help relieve how you are feeling. 18 weeks already, wow


    @Bongley - hope this is the one for you.


    @Rice - score about the obstetrician being the same one that you used for your son in the private.



    AFM - On thursday, 7dp5dt I started spotting, and by the Friday (8dp5dt) it had become heavier. I called the FN who said to do the blood test, and it was a BFN. I am out this time again.


    We have 1 embryo left in the freezer (hopefully will get to confirm that tomorrow - when speaking to nurse she said it was a fresh cycle and I’m like no we have 1 left and they were on the search for it in the freezer). I see the FS tomorrow.


    DH and I are going to try for this frosty and if it’s not a success we will be forced to take a break for a while due to $$ reasons. I really don’t want to stop, but coming up with $8.5K for a fresh cycle will take some time to save again (we were OK, but DH was involved in a car accident a few months ago and the car was written off - needed to use some $$ to get a new car for him).


    I’m taking this BFN harder than I thought. I had previously named my transfer babies… Petrie (BFN), then Speckle & Freckle (Pregnant, with 1 -speckle who missed M/C at 8 weeks) then Cookie & cupcake (chemical preg). This time I didn’t because I didn’t want to get too invested in a positive outcome and no name certainly hasn’t made any difference.


    I feel pretty flat this time - I think because like you all, I am desperate to have a baby and if this frosty isn’t the one then we are going to take a break. I am scared that this wont be our time either.


    I have the FS tomorrow - 2:30pm to discuss things with her. Any suggestions of things you think I should ask, or recommend ? I need her to pull out the big guns so to speak. Our problem is main fertility mainly, but I have PCOS and endo. I don't think anything has been tested to see about AMH, or the NK cells or anything like that which some of you have mentioned.


    *history* 2 fresh cycles, 1 BFN, 1BFP with m/c at 8 weeks
    2 FET cycles 1chem preg - medicated with progynova, crinone, progesteron pessaries and pregnyl, 1 BFN - natural cycle with pregnyl only


    Why are they not sticking ? When I asked my FS this after the chem preg she told me that even though I had 7embryos from this fresh cycle only 1 or 2 were ever only going to be any good and implant, and that the problem was with the more eggs you are able to fertilise then you dont know which one is the “good one” and you just have to keep trying until you get that one.

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  3. #102
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    I am so sorry that this one wasn't the one @Agirllikemel. I can imagine it must be heartbreaking especially after your losses. I also had a m/c at 8wks (and one at 5.5) and it made the desire to be pregnant again even stronger. I remember having an appointment with FS and asking for all sorts of answers and what we could do differently. He did run some tests which didn't show anything but at the end of the day his view was that it was most likely just a matter of finding hte right embie. I found this really frustrating at the time as I wanted to do something. However, luckily for me the very next embie was the right one (or at least so far so good). I really hope that your last frostie turns out to be your right one too. xxx
    @miissalina how are you going?

  4. #103
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    Im sorry this wasn't the one ... ill have all my fingers and toes crossed that your bfp will come asap.


    we hope to surprise my family with the twins once they arrive... of course if things get tricky and we need help with our two kids we may have to spill the beans. We didn't tell anyone about dd arriving until two hours after which was sooo lovely to juat be us with her for a while.
    Ironically my mum keeps saying from cd1 that she wants us to have twins this time a boy and girl.... shes never said it in my other pregnancies.... shes gonna be suprised as they are identical. Lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Agirllikemel View Post
    Hi all,


    Checking in again. Want to thank you all for such a warm welcome despite me not constantly posting on the board.


    Can’t believe how many twins are in this group - and how many graduates we have. For those of us who are still hanging in there, I hope our turn comes soon.


    @Nezz79 - Out of my 4 transfers, only 1 has been a single. Still haven’t managed to graduate. Hope you are not going too crazy in that horrible 2WW and this is your lucky one.


    @Megsarama26 - each time I come here I look for updates to see how your little ones are going. You’re actually a huge inspiration to me. You are going through something so tough but doing such an awesome job at it. I really hope all goes well for you.


    @katiana… twins too. congratulations. You must be over the moon. Sad to hear about the original triples then going to twins… I can only imagine how your FS must have felt. I keep having dreams (or are they nightmares, LOL) that we put 2 embryo’s back and DTD as well and end up with 3. I think it would make mu husband have a heart attack. When do you think you will tell your family about there being more than one ?


    @frogspossum - hope your starting to feel on the mend from head colds & asthma. Its hard when you feel so miserable from that and you can’t take much to help relieve how you are feeling. 18 weeks already, wow


    @Bongley - hope this is the one for you.


    @Rice - score about the obstetrician being the same one that you used for your son in the private.



    AFM - On thursday, 7dp5dt I started spotting, and by the Friday (8dp5dt) it had become heavier. I called the FN who said to do the blood test, and it was a BFN. I am out this time again.


    We have 1 embryo left in the freezer (hopefully will get to confirm that tomorrow - when speaking to nurse she said it was a fresh cycle and I’m like no we have 1 left and they were on the search for it in the freezer). I see the FS tomorrow.


    DH and I are going to try for this frosty and if it’s not a success we will be forced to take a break for a while due to $$ reasons. I really don’t want to stop, but coming up with $8.5K for a fresh cycle will take some time to save again (we were OK, but DH was involved in a car accident a few months ago and the car was written off - needed to use some $$ to get a new car for him).


    I’m taking this BFN harder than I thought. I had previously named my transfer babies… Petrie (BFN), then Speckle & Freckle (Pregnant, with 1 -speckle who missed M/C at 8 weeks) then Cookie & cupcake (chemical preg). This time I didn’t because I didn’t want to get too invested in a positive outcome and no name certainly hasn’t made any difference.


    I feel pretty flat this time - I think because like you all, I am desperate to have a baby and if this frosty isn’t the one then we are going to take a break. I am scared that this wont be our time either.


    I have the FS tomorrow - 2:30pm to discuss things with her. Any suggestions of things you think I should ask, or recommend ? I need her to pull out the big guns so to speak. Our problem is main fertility mainly, but I have PCOS and endo. I don't think anything has been tested to see about AMH, or the NK cells or anything like that which some of you have mentioned.


    *history* 2 fresh cycles, 1 BFN, 1BFP with m/c at 8 weeks
    2 FET cycles 1chem preg - medicated with progynova, crinone, progesteron pessaries and pregnyl, 1 BFN - natural cycle with pregnyl only


    Why are they not sticking ? When I asked my FS this after the chem preg she told me that even though I had 7embryos from this fresh cycle only 1 or 2 were ever only going to be any good and implant, and that the problem was with the more eggs you are able to fertilise then you dont know which one is the “good one” and you just have to keep trying until you get that one.

  5. #104
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    @miissalina how are you going hun, did you POAS at the weekend? I am crossing everything for you
    @Agirllikemel I am so sorry that this cycle didn't work for you. I too am crossing everything that your last frostie is your lucky one. I don't really have any advice but might be worth asking your FS to test you for the NK cells, at least then its someting you can cross off if that makes sense. I hope you get some answers at your apppointment today and leave it feeling a bit more positive It would be so nice for everyone to be able to graduate this thread soon
    @katiana congrats on the twins, I think there are the same number of twins as there are singletons on this thread!
    @Megsarama26 well done, its just amazing you have go as far as you have and I hope your twinnes stay where there are for a few more weeks yet
    @babygirl7 and @Bongley how are you cycling along? Hope the sniffing is going well
    @Rice @Bellydance @frogpossum and @Nezz79 hope you are all going well and feeling great

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Molros For This Useful Post:

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  7. #105
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    @babygirl7 one more sleep for you 😊😊 @Agirllikemel sorry to hear ur cycle was a bfn how did ur FS appointment go today?? @Bellydance and @Molros feeling pretty crap today actually POAS and bfn I no it's only 5dp5dt but on all my other BFP cycles I got the second line on 5dp so I brought another 6frer and will keep testing drive myself crazy sometimes lol

    AFM POAS this am and again an hour ago and still bfn !!!!! Grrrr really had my heart set on this being our cycle if this cycle doesn't work I'll be doing full immune treatment so steroids and intralipid the intralipids will be another $1500 a pop on top of the ivf costs this is our 4th transfer I'm still hoping that a get a second line appears tomoro or the next day but if not than I'll no I'm out
    Yesterday went to parents house for Father's Day was good to get my mind off the TWW until my dad asked what if ivf doesn't work!!!!! One of those comments men say don't think before they speak that question literally tore through me I didn't no what to say he didn't mean it in a nasty way or even think it would upset me he's been so supportive and they help us pay for the ivf but just hearing that question come out of someone else's mouth really upset me because realistically that is a possibility and I honestly don't no what I would do , how long is enough, how long do u try for before changing clinics or using donors or surrogates these things play on my mind but it felt horrible for someone else to ask me because I really don't no what I would do I just keep thinking it will work


    Me 26, DH 30
    TTC 4yrs
    Mild pco
    Mild endo
    Lap done 9/13
    4rounds of clomid with BFN
    5th cycle of clomid chemical pregnancy

    Started IVF jan 2014

    1st IVF Jan 2014: @WFC antagonist cycle started, cancelled day 9 due to over stimulation, 60+ follicles.

    2ND IVF March 2014: Next generation fertility ,Antagonist cycle, chemical pregnancy!!!!!

    *DIAGNOSED WITH HIGH UTERINE NK CELLS

    3rd: 1st FET May2014, started intralipids for the first time due to high NK cells in the uterus BFN

    4th IVF JUNE 2014 antagonost protocol, BFP, CHEMICAL PREG

    5th IVF AUGUST 2014, changed protocol to long protocol

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to miissalina For This Useful Post:

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  9. #106
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    @agirlikemel sorry for you bfn hun, hope FS can make your frostie the lucky last one hun. Good luck

    @Molros start sniffing in the morning.. Finally lol. How are you doing?

    @miissalina oh hun those evil lil pee sticks. Keeping everything crossed for you. And that is some good questions hun... if only we knew the answers. A lot of stuff like that plays on my mind too. Oh the joys of the unknown. I cried a lot yesterday as I feel so terrible that I can't make DF a father yet! And i just feel like a failure. Try to stay positive as I'm officially starting tomorrow! FX xo

  10. #107
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    @babygirl7 I did the exact same thing a few weeks back went through a horrible low point after the third chemical pregnancy felt like a failure and have also had immense guilt that I can't provide DP with a child he always reassures me but it still doesn't take away those negative feelings I guess it comes with the ivf rollercoaster
    It's comforting in a weird way that the feelings we feel we are not alone it's amazing how talking to ppl we have never met can make things that much easier to deal with


    Me 26, DH 30
    TTC 4yrs
    Mild pco
    Mild endo
    Lap done 9/13
    4rounds of clomid with BFN
    5th cycle of clomid chemical pregnancy

    Started IVF jan 2014

    1st IVF Jan 2014: @WFC antagonist cycle started, cancelled day 9 due to over stimulation, 60+ follicles.

    2ND IVF March 2014: Next generation fertility ,Antagonist cycle, chemical pregnancy!!!!!

    *DIAGNOSED WITH HIGH UTERINE NK CELLS

    3rd: 1st FET May2014, started intralipids for the first time due to high NK cells in the uterus BFN

    4th IVF JUNE 2014 antagonost protocol, BFP, CHEMICAL PREG

    5th IVF AUGUST 2014, changed protocol to long protocol

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    babygirl7  (10-09-2014)

  12. #108
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    @babygirl7 and @miissalina I am good thanks
    @miissalina easy to say I know but try not to stress about POAS yet as it is still early days. Have you done another one today?

    It's hard when your head starts running away with what to do if it doesn't work and I think its something that goes through the minds of all of us when we first start on this journey. I know that some FS (and mine was one of these) like to have three cycles where they won't really change much, as they say its just the case of finding the right embryo, then after three failed they will start to dig a bit deeper. I guess now you know about the NK cells it might explain why you didn't have success but hopefully moving forward them knowing about them will change the outcome and you will get your BFP. I read someone who said you know when to stop when it is easier to stop than it is to keep going and that made sense to me; its very easy at the beginning of the journey to say I'm going to give it x number of goes then stop, when in reality you hit that number and want to keep going. Try not to look into the future too much and focus on the here and now, otherwise you will drive yourself mad. Its hard to do something that we have so little control over and that is certainly where I struggled and I used to get 10 steps ahead of myself. Do you find the counselling helps? I found acupuncture quite good for grounding me again cos I'll be the first to admit I used to drive myself mad analysing everything.
    Your partners are with you because they love you and they are on this journey with you, its all to easy to shut them out but they have just as much invested in this as we do, and its not easy for them to see what we have to put ourselves through.
    I guess what I am trying to say is try not to sweat the stuff that you can't control, that you WILL get your BFP and then it will all be worth it
    Last edited by Molros; 09-09-2014 at 10:37.

  13. #109
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    Hi everyone, I've been a bit stressed with work so I haven't had a chance to catch up with everyone.
    @miissalina you've still got another day or so yet, I really hope that BFP pops up for you. Its just so damn hard isn't it? Its a rollercoaster where the lows get worse and worse with each cycle. By my 4th I was so miserable, so I understand how you feel.

    I think thats what people don't realise,

    1: its not a sure thing (if only....)
    2: you don't get used to it, it gets harder with each failed cycle
    3: it can go on for months and years
    4: the compounded cost

    But the one thing I have seen pay off on this forum is persistence. So many women knocked down and then get up and eventually get their BFP. Sometimes using donor eggs or sperm but they get there in the end.

    AFM I got the go ahead to pick up my meds and start injecting this friday. I'm a bit worried about that first ultrasound in a couple of weeks. My last one was a complete washout, absolutely no response and I've never had that before. I hope it isn't something that has suddenly changed in my body.

    Take care everyone.

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  15. #110
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    Hi all. I really do appreciate the warm welcomes. I feel like a bit of an outside but you guys are always so friendly. I should make an effort to post more but motivation for anything other than sleeping is rather lacking at the moment.
    @Bellydance. I'm glad I'm not the only one desperately asking the FS for answers. You are right that is probably just a matter of finding the right embryo but I know you understand how I feel in that I just want to "feel" like I am doing something.
    @katiana - Wow... going to be a big family. I know someone else who has 2 children already and fell pregnant with a 3rd which turns out to be twins. Definitely would have your hands full. They are worth it though. Maybe your mum is psychic about you having two. How long do you think you will keep the fact you are having twins a secret for ? Your twins won't be identical though will they - especially if you are having a boy and a girl - or did I read that wrong ? @Molros - thanks for the best wishes. I left the appt feeling a little more relieved, maybe some answers given, asked about the NK cells. Will tell below. How are you going.
    @missalina - You have to stay away from those POAS girl ! I know it is hard, I am always extremely tempted but because of pregnyl I have usually waited. Just tested with POAS with hubby so we can find out the results together before I head to work or whatever.

    I get what you mean about having your hearts set on a cycle. Hubby and I did for this one too, so was pretty devastating to find out it wasn't. Sucks about what your dad said. It's good that he is being supportive of the IVF and I am sure he didn't mean any harm but its like when someone else says out loud what you are thinking it makes it seem all the more real - something which you don't always want to deal with at the time.

    Like you I do wonder how long is long enough - to stop trying, to change clinics, try surrogates etc. I don't think ultimately there is an answer to it. Each person has to do what they feel they are ready to do at the time. I had my mother tell me before the last transfer that perhaps I should give up on the idea of having kids. Now I know I'm sure she didn't mean anything bad by it but your right in the end the decision has to come down to me and hubby - and it's not a decision I am ready to make. As for clinics I wonder the same - I thought about maybe trying a low cost clinic so we could keep going - but then wonder would you get the same level of care when you don't always have the 1 specialist. I know even the 1 specialist sees many people and can get details confused but at least you form a bit of a bond with them - they are sharing this incredibly hard journey with you.

    Hopefully it's coming up to our turn.
    @babygirl7 - good luck with your cycle. I assume you mean Synarel when you talk about sniffing - what is with that - the nasal sprays I mean. I've never used any. I feel the same way about making hubby a father. I was so sure my last one was going to be a positive that I bought a "Father to be" fathers day card. Sadly it was not to be.

    --
    AFM - well saw the FS on Monday. Went over everything again. She seemed genuinely disappointed that it hadn't been my time yet but felt confident that we could get there.

    She mentioned the possibility of natural killer cells (without me asking). Found out apparently it involves some biopsy in the luteal phase, and if positive I would be treated with steroids. So, plan is she is going to treat me with that, in the event that I have it. If this upcoming transfer is a BFN and we have to take a break she will test for NK cells to know for sure when we start a fresh cycle. I have been commenced on 20mg Prednisone a day, and if it turns out I am pregnant then it will continue to 12 weeks.

    Does anyone have any experience with NK cells, treating with prednisone,or any advise to give me about this ?


    I was offered the chance of a medicated or natural cycle. We both decided that possibly a medicated cycle was better. My cycles are 25-30 days and prior to starting IVF we hand been temp monitoring for 6-8months and found out that I was not ovulating at the same time each month. I felt a medicated cycle would give us a little more control over it. Also I guess it would make me feel as if I was doing something. So started Progynova 6mg daily for the time being.

    We are not going to trigger with Pregnyl this time - to be sure it wasn't a false positive from the pregnyl and not a chemical pregnancy, though in saying that we tested earlier this time because I was spotting and it was out of my system. I guess we will never know.

    I am going back on the progesterone pessaries for this cycle too. The dose is going to be increased to 3xper day - not so lovely but if this is what is needed then I'm all for it.

    Also mentioned acupuncture as I have read about it from some of you guys. She said if I was to do it, just to do it before and after transfer only. Does anyone have any experience with it, or can recommend someone - I live in South Sydney - near liverpool area.

    Have to see her next Tuesday for a scan. Will update you all more as I know.
    Last edited by Agirllikemel; 09-09-2014 at 21:13.


 

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