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  1. #1
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    Default I need opinions and suggestions on what to do. Pls

    I think I have pnd, I don't know... Maybe I'm just overreacting, maybe I'm just being melodramatic and need to get my perspective. I've honestly tried to just snap out of it, to just tell myself I have everything to be thankful for, that I'm living the dream but it's not working not long term anyway. I'm perfectly happy one day then the next I'm overwhelmed and sad and frustrated!

    I don't feel like seeing anyone, I do because my children need the play dates but I just want to go and watch my children play and not talk to anyone.
    The smallest task seems huge, I am naturally a procrastinator but even putting the computer on charge seems like a big deal. Sometimes I have to tell myself "one thing at a time, I'll get it done one bit by bit" just to do the clean up after dinner.
    I've asked my husband for help, for emotional help, I've asked him more than once to hold me by the shoulders and tell me "it's ok just take a deep breath" when I get frustrated or sad but he never does he just gets mad or dismisses me which makes things so much worse! Last week he got a promotion and I had such a hard time faking excitement actually I really did a bad job at it, I am proud of him and it's good for him but I honestly couldn't care less.
    Sometimes I contemplate suicide, I would never actually do it but it feels good to think about it.
    I feel like I'm being punished because I used to shake my head and just feel that people who experienced depression were just putting a label on not being happy with their lifestyle or personal situations.
    On the bad days I feel like the house is never tidy enough and I am never organized enough. That I'm not doing enough with the kids and that I am not making an effort in my marriage. I feel like my husband is not emotionally supportive and I feel like I am alone and lonely.
    On the good days I tell myself that I am thankful for my healthy happy children, that I have a loving marriage that my husband is a great father and husband and that if I am sweet to him he'll be sweet back.
    I don't feel like I should approach a doctor I don't think they'll take me seriously, even if they do what are they going to do?

  2. #2
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    I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. Please don't feel like approaching your dr would be a waste of time. If you make an appointment with your GP and tell them it's for a mental Heath care plan they will do a questionnaire and refer you to a psychologist/ counsellor for 6 free sessions.
    Alternatively call Beyond Blue 1300224636 and speak to someone about how you are feeling. This might be an easier step for you to take at first.
    Please look after yourself for your babies. Xx

  3. #3
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    Hi..

    If it's affecting your life..then undoubtably you should see a dr about it. Especially before it gets worse. There are a number of treatments for PND and in my opinion it's important to get on top of it quickly and hit it hard. Asking your gp for a mental health plan to see someone is a good start. A counsellor or psychologist might help ( but for me, I found a psychiatrist and mental health nurse the best and most effective). There are support groups, mental health day programs, inpatient treatment and tons of stuff you can do on your own.

    Google distorted thought processes, learn about mindfulness and CBT. all of these are great treatments. Learn your triggers, find a way to escape/relax and reach out and find someone that you are comfortable talking too. Have a look at beyond blue, Panda, Peachtree websites and learn as much as you can about it and what avaliable around your area.

    And most importantly... Give yourself a break and be kind and forgiving to yourself. The absolute worse thing depression does in my opinion is rob people of their self esteem and self worth.

    Take care

  4. #4
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    I think you need to see your GP. He/she will absolutely take you seriously and then you can get the help that you need.

    You've been given some great advice above and I second that you Google cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). The techniques that you can learn from these therapies will really help.

    It's not enough to tell yourself to snap out of it and that you're living the dream if that's not what you believe deep down. When you're suffering from depression your thought processes are distorted and it is really hard to believe in anything positive or good. The key is not to beat yourself up about it and don't let all that guilt that you're feeling consume you. Right now, you need to be kind to yourself and take one step at a time. Know that you're not alone and that there is help out there, but the first step is seeing your GP and getting a referral for a psychologist or psychiatrist. It may seem like a daunting step but it will really help!

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    I didn't need to read your whole post to know that you aren't overreacting. I think you need to see your GP.

    Deffo go, get a referral, you are not being punished. PND is a very real condition and many of us on here have/do suffered from it.
    Good luck! I hope you feel better soon!

  6. #6
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    I think I'm in the same boat but can't decide if really is pnd or just fed up with feeling alone and unsupported. I told my dp that I might have pnd and he says I'm probably just tired. My mil is living with us and I feel like she is constantly criticising me but she is the only adult I speak to on many days as I have young baby. I try to snap out of it but it hasn't worked. I'm crying a lot but have to do middle of the night or take a bath to even cry cus mil is there and thinks crying is for weak people. Like what do I have to cry about when I have her doing my housework and dp has good job. I feel like maybe even seeing a counsellor to help with my lack of confidence so I can stand up to her when she tut tuts at me going out with bub instead of being chained to the house...
    Sorry I'm no help just can empathise. I want to try cbt. I do think not having emotional support at home is the trigger for me as I live inside my head and the negative thoughts circulate and escalate then I try and look for some reassurance and get none

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    Hi Snailsboop,
    Just read your post and felt really sad for you. But there is an answer. I too was there long ago. So I suggest for you to see a doctor and get help sos. I feel so thankful that I was put on medication. Now I feel like a new person.

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    @Freyamum, sounds like CBT would be really good for to break out of that "in your head" cycle. I've been like that too and it's worked well for me in terms of challenging those negative thought processes and focusing on the here and now around me rather than the what ifs my mind throws up.

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    Hi Freyamum
    Having a baby can be very challenging. It is tiring as you have to be there for the baby round the clock. Having mil to help you is good but not if she is criticizing you. See if you can get counselling to build up your confidence. Do try cbt as this can be very helpful. Try speaking to your GP and see if you can get a referral. Crying can be a great release, but it needs to be addressed. Hope this is helpful for you and comforts you.

  10. #10
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    I think you should see your GP. Even if it's not PND, GP should be able to give you some info and keep an eye on you. It's not really for GP to decide anyway. They are the first contact and will refer you to the specialist who can help. If you are feeling the way you described, you should seek support so you can enjoy your bub and being a mum even more.


 

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