Closed Thread
Page 53 of 95 FirstFirst ... 343515253545563 ... LastLast
Results 521 to 530 of 950
  1. #521
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    348
    Thanks
    108
    Thanked
    179
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Legwarmer View Post
    @soclose this breaks my heart. But I have been on this road long enough too (almost 8 years myself) to know that there will be a point when enough is enough. It may be that I am where you are one day, you just never know. There is a special place in my soul for women like you, and me, and all those spending years ttc. It is a hard, hopeful, hopeless, painful, trying and bewildering thing to do that makes you question your very existence. Only those who struggled to conceive know how much it effects every single aspect of your life.

    I once read that IVF will bring you to your knees – and I think that was the best description of it I ever read. For we are always either praying or begging. Or waiting. All the goddamn waiting.

    I have spoken to quite a few older women who don't have children but who spent years, and thousands, trying to have them, and they do all come to acceptance, eventually. I hope there is some release or comfort in knowing you're not going to put yourself through it all again. Even if you can't feel that right now, but eventually. And that you can feel incredibly proud of yourself for getting through it.

    XXX
    This is one of the most beautifully put words anyone has said to me regarding this journey.

    You are so right with all you say. Nobody understands unless they have lived and breathed it. I've lost nearly all of my friends as they just couldn't understand me anymore. I need to try and find 'me' again. The old me. I've Been lost in all of this for too long. I can barely remember a time when I was truly happy.

  2. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to soclose For This Useful Post:

    francesthecat  (26-09-2014),Galea  (26-09-2014),ladybug14  (26-09-2014),Miss Sagi  (28-09-2014),PreciousHeart  (26-09-2014)

  3. #522
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,842
    Thanks
    5,273
    Thanked
    1,372
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    SoClose... I'm so very sorry to hear about your BFN and the end of your journey. I always thought TTC and having babies was meant to be an exciting and special time of one's life, but it has been such the opposite for all of us. Just not fair.

    Legwarmer... thanks so much for your words. They resonated very strongly with me, as I'm starting to think about being childless too. I still have a few options to go, but for my own sanity and life quality, I need to have "childless" as an option and end point.

  4. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MGC Bertie For This Useful Post:

    francesthecat  (27-09-2014),ladybug14  (27-09-2014),Miss Sagi  (28-09-2014),PreciousHeart  (26-09-2014)

  5. #523
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    594
    Thanks
    451
    Thanked
    463
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Soclose, I'm so very very sorry that the end of your journey hasn't turned out as we'd all been hoping and praying for. You're an amazingly strong woman to have endured all that you have. I'm not sure how I can add to Legwarmer's beautifully eloquent post other than to say I hope that the next journey and chapter in your life brings you the love and happiness that you so truly deserve. I'm not sure what the end of the road brings, grief(?) relief(?), whatever your feelings please know that we're all still here for you whenever you need us. Wishing you nothing but the best Soclose. A million hugs for an amazing lady. Xxx

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ladybug14 For This Useful Post:

    francesthecat  (27-09-2014),Miss Sagi  (28-09-2014),PreciousHeart  (26-09-2014)

  7. #524
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    401
    Thanks
    358
    Thanked
    314
    Reviews
    0
    I am so so sorry for you SoClose, for all of you who are still on this cruel path that shreds so much of your hope and yet makes you realise things about life and death and optimism and strength that "normal" fertile women will hopefully never know... all I can do is cry for you and I know that is of no help whatsoever...I know but a tenth, a hundreth, a millioneth of the pain you have, and of all of you who are still, as legwarmer beautifully puts it, begging or praying... SoClose I hope you find "you" again and find beautiful friends to share your life with... I'd be honoured to be one of them. I will always understand. I hope you find your happiness soon, you've dedicated your life and soul to this journey, that is something to be extremely proud of. I was told that the majority of women give up after 3 IVF attempts... that makes you incredible. I just don't understand why it has to be this way... take extra special care of yourself xxx
    Last edited by PreciousHeart; 26-09-2014 at 23:17.

  8. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to PreciousHeart For This Useful Post:

    francesthecat  (27-09-2014),ladybug14  (27-09-2014),Miss Sagi  (28-09-2014)

  9. #525
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    857
    Thanks
    922
    Thanked
    850
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Soclose, I'm also so very sorry this IVF road has come to an end. You have endured so much, tried so and truly given it all.
    As it has been said, the next part of your life will bring you the happiness and peace you are so deserving of. You have battled on with amazing grace and dignity.

    I so understand you, people can not relate to me anymore. I've struggled to remember when I was truly happy as well. It's been so many years.
    My goal is to rebuild my life, that is balanced full and happy.
    As precious heart also put it, I be happy to be one of your friends.

    As Legwarmer so beautifully put it, IVF will bring you to your knees.

    I even suggested to my DH we could sell our souls to the Devil, could that give us the baby we so desperately want. He said that was nonsense.
    But int the next breath, said there is nothing that we would not give.

    My my time to end this is journey is drawing very near as well. I just can't keep a pregnancy to term.
    When this began so long ago, I never thought I would have to walk away with nothing, but the pain and memories of the babies I could of had.
    4 loses has taken its toll.

    Sending you Soclose the most heartfelt hugs I can.

  10. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to francesthecat For This Useful Post:

    ladybug14  (27-09-2014),Miss Sagi  (28-09-2014),PreciousHeart  (27-09-2014)

  11. #526
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    3,410
    Thanks
    308
    Thanked
    1,179
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Soclose: I am truly sorry. I'm not good at saying things but my heart bleeds for you. It is one of the hardest things one has to endure. It isn't like we work hard and would get there for sure. Life is just not fair. What your have gone through must be thousand times harder than me. You are so strong which I admire. I hope you find the old "me" back and peace. I've also lost my friends, family etc in this journey. I lose interest in anything else. I don't remember when was the last time i was truly happy. I know how you feel as we are at this cross road that we might choose to be childless as it is affecting our daily life every way. Like all other ladies have put it, no one can understand unless they have gone through it.

  12. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to bbhope For This Useful Post:

    francesthecat  (27-09-2014),ladybug14  (27-09-2014),Miss Sagi  (28-09-2014),PreciousHeart  (27-09-2014)

  13. #527
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    735
    Thanks
    1,163
    Thanked
    1,322
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Soclose, as like the others my heart is breaking for you and all the ladies in this forum have written beautiful words.

    I think everyone going through IVF regularly thinks about it not working and after the ride from hell that we all go through there is a chance we will end up childless. I thought it was just me but it seems to be another side effect of IVF, i also can't remember the last time i was happy, have lost all my friends, lost interest in people and life and I'm not who i used to be. My mum and i don't even talk about IVF anymore, she has no understanding of IVF at all and what upsets more is she's never tried to understand what it's all about.

    Going to South Africa for an egg donor is my last shot as well, I'm praying i get some frosties so my journey doesn't end after 1 shot with an egg donor. So i'm still working on a back up plan dream if this one doesn't work, may be travel or buying an investment property or perhaps going down the fostering path, who knows but i'm sure it will come to me when the time is right.

    Soclose, let yourself grieve and be kind to yourself as you just finished one of the biggest battles you'll ever face and i know you'll come back better than ever as you are strong and this is one trait that IVF can't to away from us.

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Miss Sagi For This Useful Post:

    francesthecat  (02-10-2014),MGC Bertie  (29-09-2014),PreciousHeart  (28-09-2014)

  15. #528
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    348
    Thanks
    108
    Thanked
    179
    Reviews
    0
    Thank you all for such loving honest words of support and for sharing your own feelings of this horrid journey. Reading your messages and knowing that you share similar stories is comforting but also heartbreaking.

    I do not want to dishearten anyone or bring this thread down because my journey is over. Never lose hope xx

    Again, I cannot thank you all enough and I know in the weeks ahead I will reread these messages to help me get through.

    I hope it's ok if I pop in from time to time to wish you all well. I can't just cut myself off just yet ....

  16. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to soclose For This Useful Post:

    francesthecat  (28-09-2014),ladybug14  (29-09-2014),MGC Bertie  (29-09-2014),Miss Sagi  (29-09-2014),PreciousHeart  (28-09-2014)

  17. #529
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    477
    Thanks
    137
    Thanked
    164
    Reviews
    0
    Soclose, thinking of you every day. Of course you are welcome here - you are one of us! )

    Ladies a quick question. I am due for FET on Weds, doing back to back after BFN last cycle and just realised I didn't ask Dr M for another doxycycline script. I think it's too late now anyway as I wouldn't be able to start until Weds (away for long weekend in Perth) Or should I try and get a script done here and start on transfer day??

  18. #530
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    North Sydney
    Posts
    37
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked
    15
    Reviews
    0
    Hi everyone,
    I hope you all don't mind me joining in here. My husband and I have completed 3 stim cycles and 1 fet transferring 2 "excellent" embryos or blastocysts each time, and all BFN. My research led me here and have had the biopsy so have just started Dr M's protocol as I have ANA of 1:160, CD56 greater than 500 and one copy of MTHFR. I am on day 4 of stims and due to have intrallipids at hurstville private this saturday. It has given me hope to read so many stories on this thread.

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to operationbabyg For This Useful Post:

    MGC Bertie  (29-09-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. High Natural Killer Cells #4
    By Blueberry Swirl in forum Reproductive Immunology
    Replies: 980
    Last Post: 14-08-2014, 22:42
  2. High Natural Killer Cells #3
    By Libelle in forum Reproductive Immunology
    Replies: 910
    Last Post: 28-03-2014, 09:49
  3. High Natural Killer Cells #2
    By lissyloulou in forum Reproductive Immunology
    Replies: 940
    Last Post: 17-11-2013, 16:30

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Impressionable Kids
Impressionable Kids are Australia's leader in framed children's memorabilia and specialise in framed baby hand and feet sculptures. With franchise locations throughout Australia you can be assured you will receive a quality handmade product with a lifetime warranty on all frames.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!