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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by adeline14 View Post
    Excellent advice, thanks everyone.

    ive ordered the book "how to raise a spirited child" and 123 magic so hopefully they'll help me as well. I really should have got the spirited child book ages ago. I've just been plodding along hoping things work out, but then we hit a rough patch and I just feel I'm fumbling my way through parenting blindly with no proper direction or course.

    I find time out just does not work with him. He fights it so bad that I can't pin him to the one spot also hes crying so loud he cant hear me. I'm hoping 123 magic is more our style.

    I think I really do need to pick my battles. I might make a list of things I really do expect of him and then navigate through all the minor things and decide if its worth the battle or not.

    Yes, DS is incredibly wilful. Even at daycare, where all the kids obediently participate in their group activities and story time, he will get up and go off and do his own thing often, ain't nothin' going to sway him!

    Ive vw found a couple of things most effective. 1. I NEVER reneg on what I say, ie. if he doesn't listen/do as I ask and I say he can go to his room if he doesn't then he knows I will put him in his room if he doesn't do it. 2. I found/find counting is very effective. Ie. 'I'm going to count to 20...' And he is very responsive to this because he loves a challenge!

    I have little patience so I've struggled with losing patience with him too but On the other hand DS is so wilful he'd walk all over me if I wasn't so business-like in my transactions with him when he is being difficult! I'm also incredibly loving so there's no reason why parents can't be both.

    Also, these rough patches you talk about, these are growth spurts.... Difficult times that will pass. Growth spurts are hard on them and us, just know they will pass.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    My ds is now 6 and still strong willed. I found in the younger years a program called challenges of the strong willed child based on a book of the same name very helpful.

    Ds goes through phases now, still very strong willed and down right stubborn, but those techniques still work to get up through.


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