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Last edited by ozeymumof5; 12-08-2014 at 17:47.
It's been a devastating week. I've lost an uncle, a friend and now, in a way, Robin as well. All of them to suicide. But I have to add this, and I must say this doesn't always apply, but I don't think any of them thought "the world will be better without me, I'm a burden" I think it was more the inability to cope with pain and anguish anymore. The dark cloud had swallowed them whole instead of just following them raining, it was now over them and there was no other escape. Its so desperate and I think that's what makes it so sad. Another uncle died of cancer a year ago, and I was just devastated, he was a brilliant man, I loved him so much, and that disease, that sickness took him from us. This week, a crippling silent disease took three more men that I adored (and I don't doubt many more). And the taboo that's placed on suicide and depression, especially on men, it's another heartbreak all on its own. Cancer and the like are accepted. But depression, mental illness, suicide - they all have judgements and stigma. I was just arguing with my husband and my brother who have a differently mentality. They don't believe someone who is rich, has a wife and a great life has anything to be depressed about. Not only are people hesitant to say anything about how they feel, they sometimes can't. And they've got this judgment on them already. "Your life is not bad enough for you to be depressed." And so their cloud starts raining on them and if someone doesn't intervene or they don't find that little bit of sunshine and ask for help, it swallows them. And then they are gone. And we are left behind, our world is worse off for losing them. Our lives aren't as rich.
I hope I've not upset anyone. It's been just a horrible week. Three people, from totally different walks of life, are gone. This probably made zero sense, like I said, it's been horrible.
To everyone that has lost someone they love to suicide and those that are themselves or had a loved one fighting the battle with it. Massive big HUGS times a million.
My own experience is just too raw to talk about.
My mother tried to complete suicide and was in hospital for 3 months. The day she was released she came home to find my Father had hung himself. My younger brother tried a few years after my Dad, the same way. I found him...
NO one is immune to depression, the dark cloud will continue to hang over you until you either can no longer see the light, or you speak out for help. It's awful and I'm so frickin' sick of the stigma surrounding it. There's nothing to be ashamed of, whether you're a survivor of suicide or a survivor on the other side dealing with the consequences of a loved one. I wish my dad had realised all he had to do was ask for help, he didn't have to battle his demons alone.
The first few months I was told he died in a car accident. When people asked and that's what I told them the responses were "I'm so sorry, that's awful/tragic and so unfair". When I was told the truth and asked again, I would get "oh... I'm sorry" followed by incredibly awkward silences which made me feel like my father was the worst person in the world. Why? Because he succumbed to an awful disease that he just couldn't keep fighting?! Still to this day I get awkward silences. Until something changes the suicide statistics will continue to rise.
While I agree with you all here, I will say from personal experience I find it selfish for me and my family. My mother took her life when I was young. She suffered severe depression and the loss of a child but she also robbed me of my mother being at my wedding, being there for the birth of her grandchilren and watching them grow up and a husband of his wife. I could never fathom leaving my children behind but to my mother she must have felt she had no other option and no support. To everyone to have lost a loved one many hugs to you all.
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I work in a role where we are faced with lives lost to suicide multiple times each day.
It is a problem that needs to be acknowledged but in a respectful way. Unfortunately there is no target group. We see children from 10 up to the elderly who have been 'successful' in ending their own lives.
We are aware of MANY patients who leave mental health facilities after being placed on mental health forms and go on to take their own lives. We are aware of the immediate devastation that occurs to the person who has located the deceased. It is not something that will ever become 'normal' to see/hear.
It is not something we EVER give details to the media about however. The families deserve the respect to grieve in private and advise those that they want to know, how death occured.
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It's very hard to understand the mind set of someone who is on the brink of suicide...
You feel absolute desolation .... your heart and mind feel empty...time stops...no matter how much love and compassion you have around you all you can think of is how hard life is in the instant...that nothing will make it better...you resent the people around you who have it better than you...everything is bleak..time just stops in that instant and whatever you have contemplated doing seems the only solution....and some just go for it...
And in that instant if something or someone stops you...you will never do it... but its that sensitive few minutes that matter...
Because it's a national tragedy.
Because it highlights the failures of our mental health system.
I never said I wanted it "splashed" on the news. They never even had to disclose personal details. I just wanted acknowledgement that yet another life was lost to this disease. It just further adds to our shame and embarrassment.
MASSIVE HUGS to everyone here xxxx
Thank you all for sharing I hope that just sharing here has helped even if just a little.....
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God so many heartbreaking stories here. I'm so sorry to everyone :-(
Despite fighting depression for most of my life, I never really 'got' the whole being suicidal thing until I was on the brink myself. I didn't take my own on-the-brinkness seriously at first, until a friend told me strongly that my thoughts and behavior weren't just part of the normal ebb and flow of being alive.
In my case, I simply didn't have the guts to go through with what I thought I wanted to do. That's why I find it hard to understand when people say it's cowardly or gutless.
Thankfully my ideations passed with no real effort on my part. I am so thankful they did, because to live with them day in, day out for your whole life would indeed be hell on Earth.
I think it's so important for people to share stories, and thankyou so much to those who have. It means the world.
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