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  1. #11
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    I don't think it will matter either way with how much time the court says he has to have them. Either is a win win really.

    Why is it though that if the dad doesn't want to see his kids but the mother has to drop everything at the last minute to accommodate the father if he decides he wants to see them? If I ever decided I don't want the kids it's not like I can just dump them on him, so why is it ok for him to pick and choose when it's best for him?

  2. #12
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    I explained to the kids this morning that they aren't going this weekend and they were so happy about it. Ds1 says their dad is always so angry and yells and breaks stuff and kicks things all the time because he gets so mad at them and his dp. I hate having to try and explain to them.

  3. #13
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    that is a question I have asked many times angelichobgoblin. Believe me when I say I understand the frustration as I also live it.

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    AngelicHobgoblin  (12-08-2014)

  5. #14
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    Honestly, just go to mediation, agree to something and get it court ordered. I wouldn't skip mediation and throw it to the judge to decide. Do it the right way.

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    Crazyfamily  (12-08-2014)

  7. #15
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    You should just go to mediation and have it made into a court order.

    If you both make an agreement and he changes his mind at a later date then to bad for him. I'd go one last time and make it clear you won't be back until the children are older and their needs are changing. You can also have it put into the agreement when the two of you will next review it.

    My ex wanted to run to mediation all of the time. The last time I went I made it clear that no agreement could be met as ex wanted it his way or no way so just give me the certificate 60i which I was given. It was never taken my further and ex moved overseas.

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    AngelicHobgoblin  (12-08-2014)

  9. #16
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    I tried to make it into a court order and it took months to just get him to sign it. Then once it was signed and sent off he changed hi mind but I guess lucky for him I didn't send the right money and it got sent back. So I didn't do it because to get it done we would go back to mediation again and take another few months just to get it signed and by then he would change his mind again

  10. #17
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    It's all said through email, so all his tantrums he has thrown are all in writing.
    As for exposing the kids to it, I totally agree. I just dint know if that is a good enough reason not to send them. If I knew 100% I had the right to refuse due to this I would of done it years ago. It's not what I want my kids thinking is ok to do when angry. I guess you are right though with not being locked in. I will just have to wait and see. I'm not forcing him to have them but I think once he sees child support go up because he isn't having them, he will change his mind

  11. #18
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    If he does initiate mediation please don't refuse in order to push the matter straight to court. He sounds very abusive and it would be awful if he was given more time with the kids by the judge as a way of 'punishing' you for skipping mediation. The courts really do push for people to attend mediation first and take a dim view of refusal and you don't want to start off on the judge's bad side. Yes, you have a good reason for not wanting to mediate with him, a very good reason, but you don't want to appear in the court with the judge already having a poor impression of you. Unfair? Yes, but its realistically the way things are at the moment.

    Plus, making the judge decide on your behalf can backfire big time. There are so many things in life you have no control over, you don't want to give up all control of this to a judge who may or may not get it right.

    Also, if you do go to mediation the mediator can see how unreliable, and angry/abusive he is and this can work in your favour if it goes to court.

    He sounds very difficult to deal with, I'm sorry you and the kids are having to go through this.

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    AngelicHobgoblin  (12-08-2014)

  13. #19
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    Thank you. I will take the advice given. See how we go the next time around

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    MissMuppet  (12-08-2014)

  15. #20
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    Good luck.

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    AngelicHobgoblin  (12-08-2014)


 

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