Hi all, this is my first ever post. I have read many threads and found very useful info here on my journey. I think I just need to vent to some people that understand what I am going through. This is going to be long. Sorry. I am sure there are many in the same boat and worse.
my history: I am 32 hubby is 39. We have been TTC for two years now. I have PCOS (diagnosed age 23) and don't ovulate, my AMH is literally off the charts. We have no other infertility factors. Hubby sperm count is great, motility is fine, morphology on the low side but made up for by large volume.
So we started fertility treatment journey November 2012. First ovulation induction round with clomid was Feb 2012 - no response. Another clomid cycle at a higher dose also no response so June 2012 we moved to highly controlled ovulation induction with FSH injections. I had a great response, 1 large egg, great lining, hcg trigger with timed intercourse = BFN. Another ovulation induction August 2012 again lovely response 1 egg great lining, timed intercourse = BFN.
At this time we decided we needed to take a break so we stopped treatment and went overseas on a lovely holiday at the start of this year. Upon return we tried ovulation induction with FSH again with IUI. Again a great response with 2 great eggs this time + a good amount of quality sperm used in the IUI and STILL BFN!
Clinic suggested IVF so we have just had our first cycle. I had a good response with over 20 follicles and they collected 11 mature eggs for fertilisation on Friday. 7 fertilised and still going at 3 days. Unfortunately my estrogen spiked before hcg trigger last week and I was warned I might hyper stimulate, at egg collection there was already a bit of free fluid. Fast forward over the weekend I look about 4 months pregnant and very uncomfortable went in today to get checked out and sure enough my pelvis is full of fluid and embryo transfer is called off due to OHSS. They will monitor the embryos and freeze over next few days.
so now back to the waiting game. I have to wait for this cycle to end with a period then wait a whole month before trying again. Unfortunately as I have no natural cycle trying again will involve progesterone to bring on a period (progesterone and I do not get on well, I don't like it!) then an ovulation induction cycle with FSH injections to bring on ovulation and grow the lining so they can make the transfer. Then we have to hope the embryos thaw ok and hope for implantation and healthy pregnancy. In all I worked out I am looking at a possible transfer in about 11-12 weeks aaaarrrrrrgggghhh! It is forever away. ( this is based on period in 2 weeks, 4 week recovery cycle, 1 week of progesterone, 1 week for period to arrive, start injections day 5 then 3 weeks of ovulation induction THEN trigger and transfer. Phew).
the worst thing about IVF for me (I am a control freak) is the waiting and not knowing, my life is at a fork in the road and I don't know which way it will go and I am sick of being on hold. We had put a limit on our treatment for physical and psychological reasons which was 2 ivf cycles so there won't be much more treatment for us and the realisation that we are coming to the end scares me. Having a baby scares me too but that's another long story.
I am so disappointed my transfer got cancelled but I understand why and I would not want to get sicker than this but this setback has added another few months to this process which I can't really handle.
Geez I haven't even gone into my emotional response to this whole process in this very long story telling exercise. I am sure many can relate to the unknown future, the constant waiting, the multiple steps we have to go through and how things can fail at any hurdle, not to mention dealing with it seems like everyone else getting pregnant on the way. I am thrilled we have 7 embryos (fingers crossed they are still going), it's really nice to think that we have these little babies in the lab. I am just looking for a resolution to this journey one way or another and of course here's another obstacle in my way.