For those who don't know my story I have fallen out with my mother who is a narcissist. This is the second time we have fallen out with each other but this time its definitely for good.
DS came home from daycare tonight and was asking for his Grandma and Grandpa. It broke my heart, he is used to seeing them every week and now its gone to not at all as she told me to get out of her life after I confronted her about a few things she had been doing that was causing me stress. Her and I have a very toxic, awkward relationship and unless its all on her terms and she calls all the shots we don't get along at all.
Because DS was asking for them it made me crumble and i went against my instinct and i text messaged her tonight asking if she cared to see him again, as he is missing them. She replied saying she loves him to bits but doesn't want to be in our life. She believes I am completely in the wrong with everything, she re-writes history.... blames me for all of our ups and downs and now because I am not backing down like I always have with her she wants nothing to do with us. She even accused me of abusing her when I haven't! As far as she is concerned any sort of speaking up, standing my ground... is classed as abusing her and bullying. Ugh whatever.
I feel me telling her that DS is asking for her is what gave her the upper hand to be so cold and nasty with me tonight. She was unusually power tripping after i told her that. I thought it would soften her but nope, as usual she used it to hurt me more. I should have known better, sometimes i forget how her game is played. She kept repeating how much she loves him, but I am in the way of her and his relationship and she wont have anything to do with him while I am being so firm with my stance with not putting up with her crap. This was after I told her he was asking for her. Because i said to her i wont shut up and tolerate being treated like crap, that maybe she should just treat speak to me like a mother should speak to their daughter instead of always trying to rile me up, she just said nope - she'll do what she wants and if i don't like it DS and i can stay out of her life. Then she'd say how much she loves him again. Pfft.
I told her its the last straw, that her number is now blocked and deleted after my last message so to not bother contacting me in the future like she has done many times in the past as she will no doubt get bored with her life again and curious about mine and my children. She gets nasty and demanding too when i then stand my ground about keeping her away... so I warned her tonight that this is it. I will not have her in and out of DS's life. Its one thing she messed with my life before I had kids but its different now that i have kids involved. He is young enough now, if she isn't prepared to respect me and just be a decent mother and grandmother without all the games, and if she is going get all hot headed and say she wants nothing to do with us now - then that's it for good. No going back.
I then blocked her number and deleted it, so thats that.
Now... how to I handle DS when he asks for her? What do I say? Whats the right way to handle it? He's 2.5 years ...at the moment i get so stumped when he mentions her that i say nothing... and i feel like he may feel ignored and I dont want that .. I just don't know what to do...Anyone else in this situation? Help
Falling out with my mum is whatever to me now. .. she has caused me enough hurt in my life to know she has done me a favor by being her usual spiteful stubborn self. But i am worried my DS will be effected by her suddenly being gone....Its a long time before he will ever understand why this had to come about.