So as we all know I was on bed rest for a while and had a pretty ****ty time in pregnancy. Im still really emotional and sometimes im sad, then angry, then guilty and all kinds of things. I know it isnt my fault and there is nothing else I could have done but it doesn't change the feelings.... anyway, my babies birth..
It was the 11th of september at 10pm when I noticed i had been getting up to pee every hour for a few hours, I looked at the clock and thought, almost another day down (having just starting to believe I might make 28 weeks). Midnight ticked over and I thought about getting ready to sleep (it was my routine to stay up til midnight to watch the day click over). I must have just dosed off when I noticed my back was sore around 2am on september 12th. I had been on bed rest for so long now that I decided it must be due to that (denial really is a funny thing). The discomfort continued and at 4:40am I asked for panadol. At 05:01 I had my first contraction, it wasnt like the tightenings I had been having, it was different but I cant really explain how. I laid there and felt/timed them for 10 minutes... they were every 3 minutes, lasting 35 seconds. I called ash, told him I was having contractions but to still head to work and I would call him a bit a later, he said that he would see me in 15 minutes. I protested that I didnt want him missing another day of work if I was another false alarm (clearly still in denial even though I think deep down I knew this was it). I buzzed the nurses and told them that I was contracting, they felt the contractions for a while and by this time it was getting a little more difficult to breathe through, this was around 6am.. they called down to birthing and around 7am I was assessed in birthing. I was 4cm dilated, and aidens head was really low. They said they would try to see if they could stop the labour. They gave me magnesium sulfate through a drip (awful stuff) and some nifedipine tablets. They put the monitor on (even though I was technically still too early to monitor - they usually start at 28 weeks). The contractions now were every 2 minutes lasting almost a minute... I asked for the gas. I actually liked the gas and if it had have been a different situation I think I could have delivered using the gas alone.. anyways, 10am came and they reassessed me, I was now 8cm dilated, the drugs hadnt stopped the labour, but I knew that as the contractions were worse than ever. So we had to make a decision, would we try for natural birth or go for a c section. If we tried for natural she may get stuck because of her position then I would need an emergency c section under a general anaesthetic (we wouldnt even see her be born) or if I have a c section I may not have a lower segment and they may have to do a classical incision. Id read though that c section was better at this gestation for a few different reasons based on research studies... we opted for the c section. I was wheeled around the theatre, ash and I both petrified that we would be meeting our little miracles so soon... I wanted more time for them but we were out of time. They got me ready and I had the spinal (I actually liked it as for the first time in weeks my hips were not sore) then within 15 minutes our two precious bundles.were born. Neither Aiden or Abigail made a sound, they were both breifly shown to us before being taken to the next room, both of them needing to be intubated. While I was being stitched up the nicu team brought both babies through theatre in a big isolette, I was allowed to look at them breifly, and even reach in to touch them... they were so tiny... and wrapped in so much stuff I couldn't actually see them. Then my husband and my babies were gone and I was laying on a table being put back together. By the end of the repair I was beginning to have feeling again, I told the anaethesist and he insisted it was just pressure and that I was ok.. by tge time they transfered me to the bed to go to recovery I coulr completely move my feet and legs and when I was in recovery I was in so much pain I was crying. I ended up with a morphine pca, fentanyl in my iv, and a ketamine infusion (that is horse tranquilizer) after 6 hours in recovery I was wheeled down to nicu to see my precious little babies.. the ladies following the twins page will have seen photos of how little they are... they weighed in at a little over a kilo (and today aiden is getting closer to his birth weight and abby weighs a little more than her birth weight!) They are 12 days old today. Im recovering ok from my c section, im tired a lot from expressing and coming in/out of the hospital, I cry A LOT. But I am thankful every second of every day that these precious babies are in our lives. It may be a long/hard journey but to meet these amazing little people is all worth it... I just wish it hadnt been so hard. The ivf, the difficult/short pregnancy and the fight these kids have to do (even though they shouldn't have to). But we will take it one day at a time... enjoy your pregnancies ladies, it might be hard and it might suck now, but all too soon it will be over, the bump will start to go, the magical movements replaced by jelly tummy, the toilet trips replaced by feeds (in my case endless expressing). And when the babies are born... hug them sooo tightly, I wish I had have had the opportunity.
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