Without going into the huge back story...and to give you some context my younger brother had some mental health issues in this time he verbally attacked my husband and said some very awful and hurtful things to both him and I. After this episode we decided to cut him out of our lives my husband especially.
My mum and dad are separated just 3 years ago and both want us to just get over it forgive him and play happy families and let him back in. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him and in no way do I expect my husband to just get over it and let him back into our lives.
Fast forward I have asked my mum if she would mind our nearly 3 year old for about 4 night so that my husband and I can go on a short holiday together before we have out next bub due in Jan. This was done via phone. I end the conversation with her but she doesn't hang up properly and then I hear her promptly talk to her husband and say..."what will we do about my brother possibly coming over to the house while my son is there". I have stipulated that since the incident I don't feel comfortable with my brother being around my son. Her husband goes in to say that it's his house his rules and if my brother turns up he is welcome I his house. My mum then says she agrees and that they just won't use his name so my son doesn't repeat it when he gets home so that both my husband and I will be none aware that he was over while my son was there.
I have been stewing on this since it happened and how sick and betrayed I feel by her attitude to dismiss how I feel about my brother and how I feel he is a risk to my child due to his instability and our unresolved issues. I have dare not told my husband about this over heard conversation as he would cut my mum right out quick smart and part of me keeps her in my sons life for a sense of having grandparents.
I am about to confront her about this and cancel the holiday as I just feel I can't trust her to respect my feelings and wishes above her own motives.
Am I being unreasonable?