This bit particularly got me:
My eldest is a carbon copy of his Dad, and it is kinda eerie, his Aunt is always blown away by how much he looks like his Dad as a kid. It used to bother me at times, less now, as memories of his Dad fade a little, and my eldest grows into his own personhood more....Parents commonly ponder their child’s appearance, looking for and celebrating traces of each other. ‘He has my eyes’ or ‘she has her father’s curls.’ Imagine not wanting to see your partner in your child. It’s a different lense, not particularly desired but a reality for some.
I'm on my way to be a single mother to twins. This piece makes it sound even more scary and lonely than I had envisioned.
I have no problem seeing the FOB in my children though. There are aspects of him I want them to have, just perhaps not his personality or attitude.
Wishing you all the best.
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