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  1. #41
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    We would have aborted if a diagnosis was positive. We had a moderate risk number with DD's nuchal and bloods and chose a 16wk amnio. We had discussed it in our first pregnancy also.

    Dh has a chronic illness that will affect him for the rest of his life and we knew if we had a dependant that had disabilities beyond our abilities, on top of Dh, we would not be able to cope in a way that a child would need and would have chosen not to continue the pregnancy.

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  3. #42
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    This is where I stand. I'm angry and happy.

    There is no point in parents having a baby they will never love and share a connection because they see a disabled child as 'different'. Some people are like that but I don't think they should of been able to seperqte twins. They should of been made to not have any of those kids. That pregnancy ended in my eyes. I hope that makes sense. They should be made to start again.

    She couldn't have abortion because of religious beliefs I think I read. And also I believe if you go overseas you need know where you are going etc. Background etc.

    Now the government wants to crackdown on surrogacy because of this one family which is totally sad

    My brother has DS. I wouldn't trade him for the world. People need to realise just. Because a disability isn't visible they can still have some type later on mentally etc..... Here's hoping there child doesn't because it doesn't sound like they know what unconditional love is

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  5. #43
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    Last night on the project, one of the panel mentioned that he had a special needs child, and it seemed to effect others more than those within their household.
    Is it hard? No doubt. But is it life? Yep.
    I have 3 kids, all have asthma, 1 diabetic, 1coeliac. Things you cant test for in utero.
    We had to make adjustments to life, and while we acknowledge it could have been so much worse, it certainly is challenging at times. I would never go back and say I didn't want any of them.

    I did have the nuchal scan with all kids and with my upcoming pregnancy. It wasn't about terminating for me. It was about being as prepared as possible for a change in dynamics within the house. I wouldn't terminate for DS.
    I would consider termination where the baby would have a limited time here, and that time would not be quality.

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  7. #44
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    Thanks to all the people who have shared their stories in this thread. Lets hope that poor little boy will be ok. I wonder how much of what is reported is actually fact though? Who knows whether what the agent said is true?

    sorry, bit off topic!

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    I'm not comfortable saying what I would do in a situation that I haven't been in. There are so many variables and things to think about as disabilities can be so varied. I would lean heavily towards saying I would not terminate a pregnancy and I certainly can't imagine abandoning a child either but I have not been in the position to say 100% what I would do.

    In the case of @BigRedV for example, I'm not sure I could see a different course of action to take, particularly if I knew that their prognosis wasn't very good and they were highly likely to be in pain for the short period of time they were alive. At the same time, a friend of mine made the very brave choice to carry her baby who had Edwards syndrome and seeing her do that, I can't imagine not making the same choice, either.

    So you see, I can't say for sure what I would do and I pray that I never have to find out.

  9. #46
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    such a hard question really. I was a bit scared during my first pregnancy, as I'd been given the ruebella shot before I knew I was pregnant, and that can caouse malformation of the baby. Scans showed bub was fine, but still a chance of deafness.
    He is totally fine.

    Second pregnancy, I think you know how hard being a parent is, and adding a child with a severe disability would be a really tough call.

    Third pregnancy, I declined all forms of testing (no scans at all) so I was committed to the baby come what may.

    I guess if the technology exists to peek inside the womb, then it is going to be used, and we as individuals have to simply make the best decisions we can at the time, with the information presented.

    Fox in sox your post was great, and a very valid point about actually meeting a family who has a child with DS before making the decision could prove very informative.

    A friend who was pregnant the same time as me has a son with DS, her posts on FB about him show what an amazing boy he is, and how much joy the whole family gets from him.

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  11. #47
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    I could never abandon my child. Absolutely each to their own but I wouldn't terminate because of a disability, especially Down's syndrome. People with Down syndrome can live amazing and happy lives. Not without complications of course and am not simplifying the issue, I just personally dont see it as a reason to terminate.
    Last edited by Clementine Grace; 03-08-2014 at 01:38.

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    Yes I would abort.

    Would I abandon a baby? probably not but I wouldnt keep it. I would organise adoption or for him/her to go somewhere else.

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    Abortion was not an option for my DH and I. I didnt have the NT scan in any of my pregnancies and we both went into pregnancy agreeing that we were all in no matter what.

    I have GAD (generalised Anxiety Disorder) and mild OCD. My middle son has SPD and now my oldest son is being assessed for SPD also. DS1 & DS2 also have asthma and DS2 shows signs of severe anxiety.

    We found out about DS2's SPD when I was pregnant with DS3. If we had of found out before hand, we probably would have decided to stop at 2 children to be better off financially etc as therapies cost a lot of money.

    But abortion or abandonment would never have been an option for us.

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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    I haven't read all the responses. After the 20 week ultrasound, I was told to have an abortion every week for 10 weeks with my DD3 (she was born at 30 weeks). I was told to save my uterus for a healthy child. I was told it wouldn't be an abortion, it would be an "induction" for medical purposes. I point blank refused to have an amnio. The standard of care in Australia for the issues picked up on ultrasounds I had with her was to recommend an abortion. Issues being - deformed placenta, shortened femurs, IUGR (small baby), sandal gap toes. They couldn't find anything structurally wrong with her, only soft markers for chromosomal abnormalites.

    I was told she would be a monster, who would not live. She may smile, but it would be an involuntary response, not a real smile. I was told she would be dead before her first birthday. Bare in mind this was all guess work from my ob, I had not had an amnio so they didn't even know for sure what was wrong exactly. I was determined that if she was to die, it would not be by my hand / say so.

    When she was born and looked relatively normal, I had the same doctors turn around and tell me, oh we always thought she would be okay, we just had to let you know of the worst case scenario.

    10 years down the track, she does have issues, mainly developmental. Medically she is healthy. She is small for her age, behaves like a much younger child and struggles at school. She is not the monster I was told I was carrying when I was pregnant with her.

    Karyotyping on her placenta revealed a chromosomal abnormaility in the placenta and as DD has a number of dysmorphic features it is though she is a low level mosaic (mix of normal and abnormal cells).

    Anyway, that is my story. I know vast majority most people would not ignore medical advice choose to walk down my path.

    If anyone is interested this book is a good read: Melinda Tankard Reist "Defiant Birth". It sums up my feelings on the topic.

    http://melindatankardreist.com/produ...defiant-birth/
    I was not told once by the doctors what to do. I think that's very unprofessional.


 

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