Sorry to see AF has arrived girls xx
Happy Sunday ladies!
I have a question to you all. My OH and I decided to TTC our first child last month. I was feeling the overwhelming sense of wanting to enter into motherhood. It was like a yearning. We are financially stable with stable jobs and lifestyle.. although we are not married, being in the defence force means we spend alot of time a part and have not found the right time for us to plan a wedding. We are engaged and have every intention of getting there- I just havnt wanted to rush it.
My question is, did any of you women get cold feet after everything was a go-er? Mr is excited, and keeps sending me cute texts like "I hope we make a baby". Its so nice that he is so happy..but now I feel like im nervous! Im nervous about not being married and being a single mother should anything go wrong (i had a single mum who never had a successful relationship after the divorce, and was quick to blame me for it)..im scared that once the baby is here my OH and I will be on our own as all of our family is interstate. I read the forum where ladies were venting and im scared I will not be able to put my baby to sleep, know what they want etc.
I mean no disrespect to other ladies who have been TTC for a long period of time. I am just wondering if this "first time jitters" is natural or if it means im not actually ready. For the past 6 months it has all I have dreamed of...now its within reach I have a knot in my stomach.
Hi @brookeallisa & welcome!
I think it's completely natural to feel nervous about TTC your first! As long as they're predominantly driven by "good" nerves and not bad ones.
I would say though, that it doesn't really matter whether you're married or not, more that you've made the decision to have kids with the right person. You could become a single mum whether he put a ring on it or not!
If you know that your fiancé is the guy you're going to be with forever & will make a great dad, then just put the apprehension down to nervousness of the unknown, as it is a big change. But a great one! If you think it might be nerves about whether you're doing it with the right person, then maybe address that first.
Either way, good luck! It's an exciting time!
@brookeallisa I am currently TTC #2. After reading your post above I can say that you are well truly ready to be a mum.
Motherhood is not easy, you worry about EVERYTHING from the moment you get your BFP to when they are born and beyond. It never subsides. It's exhausting and heart breaking. It's infuriating and challenging. But it is also the most amazing thing you can do.
I was never one of those "when I grow up I want to have kids". For me it was career. Now I have done a complete 180.
The fact that you are so worried about the future shows me a mothers heart already exists in you. You already want the very best for this little person. You can never plan for what may come. Just take it one day at a time. You are going to make a fantastic mummy.
Thank you for replying @EnPointe and @McBecks , they are good nerves! But I think as you said it is a huge change. Some of my friends have kids but do not live in the same city as me so Im nervous I wont have any help with the little things only someone whos been there can help you with.. I was talking to OH yesterday and I said what if I drop them? What if they like you more then they like me? What if I take them for a run and the pram falls over? He laughed at me and told me I was over analyzing it, and that I will make an amazing mother. Its great to have that support. And im glad I am not the only one who has experienced the 'Number1 worries'! If we dont concieve in the next two months, the OH goes away for work for 6 months, then I go away and we wont be able to try again until late next year, thinking about that breaks my heart!
I know the OH will make an amazing father, he is my best friend and supports me through everything. I couldnt imagine life without him. Watching him with his baby nephew melts my heart when we visit. Plus, at the risk of sounding bias, he is ridiculously good looking so if our babies take after him I will be over the moon...hehe
How long have you ladies been TTC?
Eta: I have never been the grow up and have kids kind of girl either, I always thought I would have a career over a husband..then I woke up one day longing for a child and everything changed! It's amazing how your body lets you know its ready for something.
Last edited by heplusme; 07-09-2014 at 12:34.
I totally get you! We are ttc no 2 as well and are up to cycle 9 also. If you don't mind me asking - what made you approach the FS and did you have assistance the first time or conceive easily? Sorry if I'm being too nosy, just trying to figure out our options.
My friends are getting pregnant with their first bubs and I wanted to have my second at the same time. Funny how we thought it would be so easy and that we'd actually be able to 'plan' our second baby's birthdate! Of course I'm so happy for them but feel totally left out when they all catch up and talk about appointments and go baby shopping together
Day 40... 😖 losing. my. mind.
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