+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2014

    Default Step son not liking the idea of a new brother or sister.

    Hi there,
    My partner and I are expecting our first baby together in January (my first, his second) we have just told his 11 yr old son, who took the news really well and was super excited. Until people started telling him he will get ignored when the baby comes along. We have made sure we try and have him involved in discussions and let him know he's going to be a 'super cool' big brother etc. however this weekend is the first weekend he has stayed over with us since hearing the news, and is now petrified of sleeping on his own. He does sometimes be a bit funny about it, so we let the dog sleep in his room and keep a nightlight on which seems to settle him down. But this time he is much worse!
    Could the news of the new baby be causing him to be a troubled sleeper with us now, or could it also be for attention?
    I know his mother lets him sleep with her a lot as she is very dependent on him and vice versa. However, I don't believe at 11yrs old he should be moving into our room/bed :/

    Could this all be related... What could we do to help him?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    It could definitely be related, he may be feeling insecure and wants to be closer to the two of you.

    I agree that letting him sleep in your bed now might create a bad habit because the last thing you are going to want is a mini adult in your bed with a big belly or when you are up and down to a newborn.

    I would continue to encourage him to sleep in his own bed. Perhaps either one of you could sit with him for a little while when he goes to bed of a night? It is difficult when 2 houses have 2 different sets of rules.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to thepouts For This Useful Post:

    Bubhubbeginner  (26-07-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    100 Posts in a week
    I feel for you @Bubhubbeginner. DH and I were absolutely freaking out about telling his 13yo son that he was going to have a baby brother. And then freaked about what his mother would tell him about how having a sibling would change everything. In our case, it's worked out OK so far. Although I have noticed there's a bit more sulking going on when he doesn't get his own way.

    As soon as we found out I was pregnant, and well before we told SS, we've been very focused on family time on the weekends that we have him so that he feels connected to both of us. And DH is spending lots of one-on-one time with him too, which we plan to have continue once the baby is born.

    Definitely continue with him sleeping in his own bedroom. If you start that habit of him in with you it will be a nightmare to break when the baby comes. Maybe read to him right before sleep, so that he gets settled. Or have some kind of other calming bedtime ritual.

    Also can your partner talk to his ex and see if there are any other factors at play? Has he gotten worse at her house as well, or is it just at your place?

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Cat74 For This Useful Post:

    Bubhubbeginner  (26-07-2014)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    What kind of nasty person would tell a child that he will be ignored when the new baby arrives? Have you talked to him about it, maybe he just needs some reassurance that he won't actually get ignored.


Similar Threads

  1. Seeking egg donor for baby brother or sister
    By cskb3 in forum Egg Donation
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-07-2014, 00:09
  2. Please help i would love a brother or sister.
    By flyer in forum Egg Donor Needed
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-02-2014, 18:11
  3. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 05-10-2013, 23:34

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Free weekly newsletters | Sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

learn how you can become a reviewer!


forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Transition into Parenthood / Calmbirth Sydney
Transition into Parenthood (TiP) and Calmbirth courses for pregnant couples provide all you need to feel ready, prepared and organised for the wonderful birth of your beautiful new baby. Julie gives the best value discount on both courses $100 off.

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!