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  1. #21
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    I feel it's needs to be a joint decision.
    SIL and BIL went for ultra sound and they sonographer write on a piece of paper what gender the baby was and have it to BIL who really wanted to know. He kept the secret really well.

    Both time with mine I could tell if it was a boy or girl during the scan even before the sonographer said anything. It's quite obvious if you know what you are looking for. If you do a bit of googling and know what you are looking for you might just pick it up at your 20 week scan, that way you are not lying it hiding anything

  2. #22
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    I don't like it. But I would be upset if dh found out and I didn't. We waited until 32 weeks then found out as a compromise lol

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    I think it's wrong & frankly it would be nearly impossible for me not to slip up.

  4. #24
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    I desperately wanted to know what sex my babies were before they were born. Thankfully DH did too. If he didn't want to know I think I would tell him that I want to know and would be finding out.
    My MIL didn't want to know what we were having first time round so we didn't tell her. Someone else slipped up and told her just before I was due, but she was the only one who didn't know out of everyone we knew!
    I think I would find out and then tell DH that I'd say she/he interchangeably so that he wouldn't read in to it.
    My BIL found out with my nephew but my SIL didn't...after a couple of weeks she decided she wanted to know too so BIL told her, but they were both cool with one knowing and the other not.

  5. #25
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    For my first pregnancy I REALLY did not want to know, my hubby really did and so after long hard discussions we agreed he would find out and I wouldn't. Fortunately he managed to keep it from me and it was a lovely surprise BUT I never would have forgiven him if he had let it slip and taken that precious moment away from me when my baby was put on my chest and I got to learn I had a daughter. So please ladies, think about having something important to you taken away during an accidental slip of the tongue and the fact that that can't be unheard.....

  6. #26
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    Not sure where I stand tbh. On one hand it is deceitful, but on the other your DH is not only making a decision for him (which is more than ok) he's making it for you too and is refusing to budge. I find that a bit wrong. This isn't just his baby, it's yours too and you are carrying it. I had to know with both mine, and I'm not sure how I would have handled DH telling me I wasn't allowed to know like I was 5. I tend to be the sort of person where I would instantly get my back up over that and probably do the opposite

  7. #27
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    bunkx is offline Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections
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    My sisters friend recently did this, it's not something I could bring myself to do but I can understand why she did it. But I do think it's wrong lie to your partner

  8. #28
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    I wouldn't do it unless he knew you were going to find out and was ok with it. It is your body but you both made the baby. Going behind his back undermines the relationship. Having a baby (boy or girl) can put pressure on a relationship at times - especially when it's your first baby. Why start off on the wrong foot???

  9. #29
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    TheGooch is offline Winner 2014 - Newbie of the Year
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    I think there is nothing wrong with each one of the couple to have their way - one can know and the other can choose not to.

    I do think there is something dodgy about being deceptive about it. Grow a backbone and either say "pfft you can do whatever you like but i'm finding out" or be honest about what you intend to do. But don't say one thing and do another (general you throughout)

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    Not good for a relationship which should be built on trust, not deceit. I would hate to think how upset her DH would have been if she had of accidentally let it slip.


 

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