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  1. #1
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    Default *vent* why me???

    I just go the msg to say my best friend delivered a healthy baby girl tonight.... im so incredibly happy for her but I cant help thinking we both should have had little girls born the same year except mine didnt make it

    I know I shouldn't think that way but I cant help it and then the "why me's" start running through my head.... why did my baby have to die.... why couldn't I have kept her? I would have loved her so much.

    I started back at work last week, I've been off since after we lost bub. I work in childcare and there are a ton of families expecting or with new babies. Every one of them is like a slap in the face, I should have a five month old now, instead im nearing the 1yr anniversery of losing her.

    Sorry for such a negative post I just need to let this all out in a safe place, otherwise it just builds up inside until I go insane

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  2. #2
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    Big for you Melimum. X

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Mod-Uniquey For This Useful Post:

    melimum  (22-07-2014)

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    It's not negative, it's an extremely tough situation I'm so, so sorry you lost your baby girl, it's just not fair that some mums don't get to keep their babies. I can't even imagine how hard it must be. A good friend of mine lost her baby recently after years and years or trying and I just kept thinking why her, just so, so unfair.

    You should feel free to vent and get angry, don't keep it locked up in your head. I suspect the only thing to make it a little easier will be time. In the mean time, do whatever you have to do to make it through.

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    melimum  (22-07-2014)

  6. #4
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    Totally understand what you're going through. It's so hard but completely normal. Big big hugs xxx

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    melimum  (22-07-2014)

  8. #5
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I'm sorry your baby isnt in your arms

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    melimum  (22-07-2014)

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    Don't apologise hun, there is nothing for you to apologise for!
    Massive hugs ♥

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    melimum  (22-07-2014)

  12. #7
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    Yep, it sucks indeed.

    That 'why me' feeling hangs around a long time, letting yourself get angry is an important part if the healing process. You will always carry that grief around with you but in time it will evolve. Having the 'why mes' also acknowledges that your little girl existed, that she mattered, was loved and is important.


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    melimum  (22-07-2014)

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    @melimum, it's important for you to express what you're feeling. If you keep it bottled up inside it will consume you. Grief is a difficult emotion and your feeling of "why me" is totally understandable.

    When you need to vent, you should and don't feel guilty about it.


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    melimum  (22-07-2014)

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    Thanks for the kind words ladies. I dont like to have my little outbursts in real life because I'm well aware that some people have it a lot worse then me and I'm thankfull for my daughter and partner and know things could be worse.... people tend to point out "well at least you already have a child" and every day I focus on the positives in my life but sometimes I just want to scream how unfair it is without being told to be happy for what I have iykwim?

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    It's so normal. Even after having our rainbow I still get angry that our baby girl died. Or look at him and wonder if she would be like him. I have a hard time seeing friends with babies that would be her age.

    Any type of reference that you should be ok because you already have a child or will have another is really unfair. Our other children are healing and we're lucky to have them but they are not replacements. There's still somebody missing and we're allowed to miss them. Time does make it all more bearable. I think of our baby girl every minute of the day but it no longer floors me, or at least not as often.

  18. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to HollyGolightly81 For This Useful Post:

    Chillies  (22-07-2014),melimum  (22-07-2014),Sethysmum  (22-07-2014)


 

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