I have been living with pnd/depression/anxiety/alcohol abuse for some time now. I have 2 young children. About 2 mths ago I sought out help.
Im speechless, I feel I'm not deserving of their time.
i have been allocated full time funded child care, in which I will take 2 days. To make it to my scheduled counselling appts.
I can't process it. I can't process how and why people want to help me and my family.
i have struggled with depression for 10+ years. Only now, once I had dependant children of my own, I knew this wasn't what I wanted for them. How I felt, I knew was not right. I forgot the last time I smiled. I wondered if my children ever see me smile.
i knew help was out there. I just didn't know there was so much of it. Once you make that first call to the right people, the ball starts rolling straight away. Before you know it, your whole week is scheduled with help and support appts. On top of that, I have funded day care so I can get to all of these appts.
Please don't judge me, I have no family or friends. I have chosen not to tell our families about my personal issues for my own reasons.
I feel undeserving. Almost as if I am 'taking advantage' of the system. There are worse people off. Can't I just snap out of this and wake upto myself? - although it seems I am beyond that.
also, all this attention, all of a sudden. Really makes me feel undeserving. Vulnerable and as if I'm wasting people's time.
Basically, I'm having trouble processing all the help I am recovering ATM, yet I am beyond greatful.