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  1. #31
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    If there is anything like a mental health day program or a mother/ baby unit in any of the hospital's near you that you can attend one day a week or have a short stay then I STRONGLY recommend you look into it. I learnt so much and got so much from it. Forget about your dh for a bit and concentrate on yourself. When you are mentally strong, things with your dh won't affect you so bad.. Depression robs you of your self esteem and makes you much more vulnerable to things others say and do.

    Things that are great for combating depression include... (Try googling them) CBT, mindfulness, journaling, recognising and learning about distorted thought processes, learning about your triggers and group therapy was just amazing and exactly what I needed. I met a bunch of really lovely ladies on bh and from hospital and PND support groups that I joined and became fb friends with (this all took a bit of time because I'd isolated myself and developed a bit of social anxiety). All of them were normal women from all walks of life. Surprisingly, There were lawyers and teachers and everything in between which was such a relief for me and helped me to come to terms that it does happen to anyone and it wasn't some shameful character flaw. The most important thing for me was developing hope again.... Instead of that awful feeling of absolute and utter hopelessness and helplessness with no end in sight....

    My dh was absolutely useless at the start and made things a whole lot worse with his backward views and attitude. He came around once he learnt more about it. But forget about him and concentrate only on you. You can't change others, only yourself... So don't waste your time on him and focus your energy on where it will make the most difference and that is on yourself. Once you get better it seems to have a flow on effect to everyone around you anyway...

    I hope you find something or someone to help.

    Your not alone in how you feel...

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    MissEm  (21-07-2014)

  3. #32
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    MissEm  (21-07-2014)

  5. #33
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    Oh Hun! You poor thing! Huge hugs! Try give the mother baby unit at St. Helens private on Davey st a ring or even the parenting center in Newtown. You chn should have some good contacts to help you too.
    Your baby girl needs you, please don't ever doubt it!

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    Thanks everyone. Dr put me straight onto Zoloft...anyone have experience with this one?

    And referred me to a psychologist. but I will try the links if I go down again.

    I can't thank you all enough for listening as it has helped immensely and encouraged me to check in with my dr. (new dr never seen before but she could see I wasn't good, (apt was for my daughter)

    I tend to bottle all these things up until I almost self destruct. So will look into writing a journal and research triggers, some times Iam good for months even year then all of a sudden I crash

  7. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to MissEm For This Useful Post:

    ABigDeepBreath  (21-07-2014),clucky_duck  (21-07-2014),MissMuppet  (21-07-2014),munchkin275  (21-07-2014),RipperRita  (21-07-2014)

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissEm View Post
    Thanks everyone. Dr put me straight onto Zoloft...anyone have experience with this one?

    And referred me to a psychologist. but I will try the links if I go down again.

    I can't thank you all enough for listening as it has helped immensely and encouraged me to check in with my dr. (new dr never seen before but she could see I wasn't good, (apt was for my daughter)

    I tend to bottle all these things up until I almost self destruct. So will look into writing a journal and research triggers, some times Iam good for months even year then all of a sudden I crash
    I'm sorry your having such a horrible time I'm on Zoloft and was put on it a few months ago when dd2 was around 6 months. It has hugely helped my anxiety as I was becoming to anxious to leave home with kids in tow! And "levelled" out my moods which was def good! The main thing is if its not helping after a few weeks go back try another! There's hundreds to try!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissEm View Post
    Thanks everyone. Dr put me straight onto Zoloft...anyone have experience with this one?

    And referred me to a psychologist. but I will try the links if I go down again.

    I can't thank you all enough for listening as it has helped immensely and encouraged me to check in with my dr. (new dr never seen before but she could see I wasn't good, (apt was for my daughter)

    I tend to bottle all these things up until I almost self destruct. So will look into writing a journal and research triggers, some times Iam good for months even year then all of a sudden I crash
    Wow!! Good on you, MissEm. I'm rely happy to hear that you spoke up today. I know it's not easy. I hope the Zoloft helps and please consider that psychologist referral also.

    All the best. X

  10. #37
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    Well done @MissEm! Can't hurt to try the anti depressants but please do see the psychologist also. Good to get to the root of the problems and sort them out rather than just taking medicine. They could be really good though in giving you a bit of breathing space in the meantime though so good luck! All the best


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  11. #38
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    I never tried Zoloft but was on Lexapro for a little over a year. I refused medication for ages (for some ridiculous reason I have always been anti medication, I used to stress taking Panadol) and it did initially make me feel worse but then it worked miracles and really "levelled" out my moods so that I could concentrate on getting better and learning some coping techniques.

    I wish you all the best... It isn't an overnight recovery. I had plenty of relapses and setbacks along the way but I did get better and you will too. Xxxxxx take care xxxxxxX

  12. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    If there is anything like a mental health day program or a mother/ baby unit in any of the hospital's near you that you can attend one day a week or have a short stay then I STRONGLY recommend you look into it. I learnt so much and got so much from it. Forget about your dh for a bit and concentrate on yourself. When you are mentally strong, things with your dh won't affect you so bad.. Depression robs you of your self esteem and makes you much more vulnerable to things others say and do.

    Things that are great for combating depression include... (Try googling them) CBT, mindfulness, journaling, recognising and learning about distorted thought processes, learning about your triggers and group therapy was just amazing and exactly what I needed. I met a bunch of really lovely ladies on bh and from hospital and PND support groups that I joined and became fb friends with (this all took a bit of time because I'd isolated myself and developed a bit of social anxiety). All of them were normal women from all walks of life. Surprisingly, There were lawyers and teachers and everything in between which was such a relief for me and helped me to come to terms that it does happen to anyone and it wasn't some shameful character flaw. The most important thing for me was developing hope again.... Instead of that awful feeling of absolute and utter hopelessness and helplessness with no end in sight....

    My dh was absolutely useless at the start and made things a whole lot worse with his backward views and attitude. He came around once he learnt more about it. But forget about him and concentrate only on you. You can't change others, only yourself... So don't waste your time on him and focus your energy on where it will make the most difference and that is on yourself. Once you get better it seems to have a flow on effect to everyone around you anyway...

    I hope you find something or someone to help.

    Your not alone in how you feel...
    Yep I agree with this I have just been in a mum and bub unit myself after really not wanting to go. And well I have my life back, I can't believe the hole I was in and accepted that as being my life now.
    I can't believe how much better life can be with the right meds and intensive therapy! It is so so worth it for your whole family.
    And don't feel bad. You are an awesome mother, you care about your family just need to learn to love yourself again!
    You deserve better then this and i know it doesn't seem like it now but it does and it will get better.
    Your gp will be a good starting point or yOur local cat team.
    And also feel free to pm me.
    Hang in there. You and your family are worth it

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  14. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissEm View Post
    Thanks everyone. Dr put me straight onto Zoloft...anyone have experience with this one?

    And referred me to a psychologist. but I will try the links if I go down again.

    I can't thank you all enough for listening as it has helped immensely and encouraged me to check in with my dr. (new dr never seen before but she could see I wasn't good, (apt was for my daughter)

    I tend to bottle all these things up until I almost self destruct. So will look into writing a journal and research triggers, some times Iam good for months even year then all of a sudden I crash
    Take care of yourself @MissEm. Others have provided some good advice. My only suggestion would be that if you meet with the psychologist and you just don't 'click' with them, that's ok. Try not to give up. It can sometimes take a few different psychologists/social workers/counsellors before you find someone you feel comfortable with and can build rapport with.

    I see someone for career/personal development and it took me a few until I found someone I felt comfortable with and appreciated their techniques on an intellectual level.

    Sounds like there are quite a few mammas on here who have experienced stays in the NICU who may be able to offer support.

    Thinking of you!!!


 

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