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  1. #1
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    Default Single and pregnant

    Hi. I'm sure I'm not in a unique situation although for my age perhaps one of the rarer cases.

    I'm single and pg with twins. FOB wants nothing to do with it, asked me to terminate and reckons this is going to ruin his life. Can't figure out how seeing as I've asked him for nothing and he certainly hasn't offered anything, let alone the fact it's not him going through the pg. He gets to go on as though nothing is happening.

    Anyway, I am happy about the babies and can't wait to see them on the monitor again in a few weeks time. My parents are happy about it too and my sister is also pg with their third - 10 days ahead of me - so I'm not short of someone to talk to and share this with.

    However, none of them have been in this situation so I feel a bit alone in that respect. I only recently at the beginning of the year bought my own house after separating from my husband early last year (yes my track record with men is awesome), my car loan will be paid off by early next year or earlier if I can manage it, my HECS should be paid off now that I've done my tax return, and I have a small credit card debt which I'm hoping my tax return will help pay off. I will get the govt PPL and paid maternity leave for 14 wks from my employer. In spite of this I'm still not sure I'm going to survive, especially with reduced pay from the PPL and 20 weeks with no pay.

    How do people cope both financially and emotionally as single parents and more specifically as a single parent of twins in the first year?
    Last edited by Surprisetimes2; 10-10-2014 at 08:27.

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    Ladydee  (20-07-2014)

  3. #2
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    Wow, I have no advice regarding the financial situation but all I can say is you sound like such a strong, independent, capable woman & I have no doubt that you will be able to do this on your own.

    Best of luck! X

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    Ladydee  (20-07-2014)

  5. #3
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    I'm a solo mother by choice, I have a 2yo and 7mo. You will cope fine because you have to. You become less indulgent. You won't go out anymore so you save money there . Accept hand me downs, paying full price for new stuff is for suckers. Local buy swap sell pages are great for bargains. If you're in Sydney my friend there is giving away her twin cots!

    Join the multiple birth association as they will have some great ideas on where the multi discounts are. I know some companies give discounts for multiples on things like formula.

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    Jenandsquid  (13-10-2014)

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    Thanks @dee1 - lol I was raised to be quite independent and have had to be strong through situations that have arisen so it's just a way of being now. Not that I don't have my moments of course.

    Wise Enough - thank you. I have looked at joining AMBA. Just gotta get some money together to pay the fee and get through my nuchal scan. I will check out the buy and sell pages for here. Apparently gumtree can be good too?
    Last edited by Surprisetimes2; 10-10-2014 at 08:28.

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    Yes gumtree is good too. And you can pick up some bargains on eBay.

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    Hi, congratulations!
    I have not been in your situation but I just wanted to offer support and encouragement. I find that in situations like this you find a way to make it work simply because you have to. I really agree with a pp about buying second hand. I find bss pages heaps better then Gumtree. I'm not sure it this would work for you but I live in an area with a great CHN. She is really proactive in linking new mums into community supports. Perhaps call your CHN and ask if there are any groups in your area for expecting mums. I have found the support invaluable and I wish I had linked in with it earlier. Also in Perth you should check out the baby and kids markets that are on at different locations fortnightly. Oh and the Perth baby expo is on soon. You will find heaps of bargains if you come prepared. Good luck. X

  10. #7
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    Thank you @RedCreamingSoda. I will look into the CHN in my area. I did go to the baby and kids market once a few years ago and I remember it was good. I'll google the next one and the baby expo.

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    It's totally doable but you say you want nothing from him but centre link will in terms of child support. You won't get anything from them unless you put him down as FOB and they can calculate your child support. I don't know much about this but please factor this into your financial situation or be prepared

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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    It's totally doable but you say you want nothing from him but centre link will in terms of child support. You won't get anything from them unless you put him down as FOB and they can calculate your child support. I don't know much about this but please factor this into your financial situation or be prepared
    Yes Lily is right. Even using a sperm donor through an IVF clinic I had to jump through hoops. So if you put the fathers name on the birth certificate they will approach him for child support and then calculate that into any payments you get. If you leave him off the birth certificate you will need to fill out a stat dec saying you don't know who the father is.

    But seriously he made these babies too, he needs to man up and take some responsibility.

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    MonsterMummy  (20-07-2014)

  14. #10
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    @lilypily thanks for the heads up. I didn't say I want nothing from him - I haven't asked him for anything - I would prefer him to want to support his children and offer it but I don't see that happening. If I have to ask him for too many details I'll bet that'll go down like a lead balloon. I haven't been to centre link yet to find out what I am entitled to or need to do but it's definitely on the list of things to do. Just want to get through next scan.


 

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