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  1. #1
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    Default How to support a friend?

    Hi ladies,
    A good friend of mine has just found out today her dd2 has mild cerebral palsy and autism, she didn't go into detail about the severity (apologies if thats not the right word?) but said he has to go for an MRI in brisbane at some stage. As you can imagine she is feeling lost and trying to get her head around it. She also has a 9 year old son and is 26 weeks pregnant.

    I want to be there for her, but I don't want to say the wrong thing... I told her how much of a wonderful mummy she is and that this diagnosis doesnt change how beautiful, happy, loving and sweet her little man is, that he is still the same wonderful little boy he always has been, only now she has the knowledge of what is going on and can finally get some answers she has been desperately searching for for so long.

    How can I support her? She lives a few hours away so I am limited to phone calls/texts and fb. What are things I shouldnt do or say? Im not treating her or her son any different- she is just in such a vulnerable place right now and I don't want to make her feel worse or that im brushing off what she is going through.

    Thank you.

    He + Me = dd1 (July 2007), dd2 (July 2010), dd3 (August 2012), dd4 (May 2014)
    Embrace the chaos

  2. #2
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    The worse thing you can do is say nothing so I think you've done the right thing. The best thing you can do is listen. . Whether through texts or on the phone.
    Perhaps send her a card and a note about how much you care etc.
    Since you're not close by I would just be there on the phone for her. Plus try to remember important dates like the day of the mri and check in and see how she's doing.

    When the dx was given for my DD. .. Over the course of several months I found who my true friends were. They were the ones who have always been on the other end of the phone. . Checking in and texting to see how I'm going. Never Be too busy to see how she's going! She will appreciate it so much.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    PurpleButterfly4  (18-07-2014)

  4. #3
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    Thanks @Tamtam.

    I also suggested she might find it helpful to look into support groups/pages so she could connect with other parents who are going through/have been through this journey as well.

    She messaged me this morning thanking me, and seems a bit more positive about it all and said that at least now she can move forward.

    He + Me = dd1 (July 2007), dd2 (July 2010), dd3 (August 2012), dd4 (May 2014)
    Embrace the chaos

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    PurpleButterfly4  (18-07-2014),Tamtam  (18-07-2014)

  6. #4
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Dd6 has a lot of allergies so it's not the same severity but I can tell you what NOT to do. Don't change the subject immediately, don't say something like "I can't relate to that" or "I couldn't deal with that at all" or - and this was actually said to me - "See, that would just make my head explode!".

    Just be there for her, listen to what she says, ask questions, remember dates and be supportive. And if you do change the subject do it for her, to cheer her up and distract her. I love the idea of sending a card esp because you don't live close, it's something people don't do anymore because of social media but it's a lovely gesture.

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    Omg @Gothel, cant believe soneone actually said that to you!! While I have no idea what its like having a child with special needs, I have been reading up on autism and CP, just to try and a gain a better understanding.

    He + Me = dd1 (July 2007), dd2 (July 2010), dd3 (August 2012), dd4 (May 2014)
    Embrace the chaos

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    Gothel  (18-07-2014),PurpleButterfly4  (18-07-2014)

  9. #6
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    You sound like a wonderful, caring and compassionate person. Your friend is lucky to have you in her corner.


 

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